Nostalgia For What Never Was

So, I’ve composed a conversation I imagine Zube Boy and I would have if we had met in high school. It goes something like this:

Zube Girl: Hi!

Zube Boy: What?

ZG: What’s your name?

ZB: *stares*

ZG: Umm, hello, I like asked you a question.

ZB: Whatever.

ZG: So, like, is black like your favorite color?

ZB: Yeah. Is that cheerleading uniform your favorite outfit?

ZG: Hee hee. Give me a, yes sirree!

ZB: *eyerolling*

ZG: So.

ZB: So, why are you talking to me?

ZG: Oh my God, like, I’m just trying to be nice.

ZB: Okaaay.

ZG: *eyerolling*

ZB: What are you so happy about?

ZG: Why are you so grumpy?

ZB: Pffbt. Cheerleading bimbo.

ZG: Hmmph. Grumpy Goth dude.

Then, we’d each turn to our respective crowd. The Cheerleaders and the Goths.

ZG: *doing the cuckoo ear thing* Dude, that guy is psycho! Oh my God.

ZB: *acting cool, like he doesn’t realize he was just in the presence of greatness* What an irritating bimbo.

To say the least, I am oh so glad we did not meet in high school. ‘Cause we woulda not been BFF. Know what I mean?