This Post Is Brought to You by the Letter Zee

Little Zee has a blog. I'm hoping this will assuage my urge to make The Adventures ofZube Girl all baby, ALL the time. And it will also be a nice way for our far away relatives to keep tabs on the little shit. It will be notably less cuss-wordy over there because, you know, I don't think earmuffs exist on theinternet. And far be it for me to expose Zee to any more cuss words than she already heard in the womb. Anyway, if you didn't see Old School, you didn't get that. It's okay.

The thing is, I have a problem. I'm not digging on the standard blogger template. And I've been out of the bloggy loop for so long, living under my rock over here in Zube Girl Land, that I no longer know who makes templates. I had mine made by Web Divas two years ago, and they are no longer in business, much to my dismay. Because, while I'm lazier than shit, I really, really am attached to my layout here. I can't blame laziness for the fact that it hasn't changed. Anywho, I'm looking for recommendations, just in case you're the type that doesn't get subtlety and respond better to the brick over the head method. I'm willing to pay big bucks for a template 'cause I'm RICH bitch! Or rather, I'll pay a reasonable rate because I'm not, you know, eating out of my neighbors' garbage cans or anything. Talk to me of blog designers oh buddies of mine.

All that said, Zube is returning. I'm feeling more and more like myself. Like I'm emerging from my cocoon pregnancy state and becoming all bitchy and superhero-ish again. It's tickling my toes. Any day now...

Until then...a gratuitous photo...

Greetings From Sleepyville

Dude. You guys are the bestest. Truly. I can't believe we did it! We fucking did it! And you all were integral. I can't tell you how much I felt buoyed by your encouragement, thoughts and prayers. I'm on Cloud 9. But, believe me, it's an exhausting place. I'd love to tell you that fluffy bunny rabbits and skittles tumble out of Cora Jane's little bum and that her vocal chords are capable of tunes that would make the angels envious, but, uh, no. She's a newborn after all. And newborns are hard fucking work. But it's not a thankless task at all, and I adore the everloving shit out of the kid.

I figured I'd share a couple of photos because I'm all Braggy Mom this week. I've earned it. And please don't fret over the oxygen tubes. That's just a way of life when you happen to get borned at 10,000 ft above sea level. She'll likely be off of it after her two week appointment and I absolutely can't wait because I swear I'm going to topple over the cord and land on the kiddo one of these days. She also has a couple of red patches above her eyes that totally freaked me out, but the doctor says those will disappear in time.

I was thinking the other day about a blog name for our newest edition. I've decided that, for the purposes of this blog, she'll be Zee Baby. I think it's cute.

Anyway, I now present to you, Zee (cutest EVER) Baby:






Last but not least, I can't believe I had a baby girl. I totally thought boy. But now that I've got a kick ass chick for a daughter, I'm reminded of the poem I shared with you all a while back. The first verse keeps running through my head:

One day I'll give birth to a tiny baby girl
and when she's born she'll scream and I'll make sure
she never stops.

Hell's yeah.

Introducing...

(This is PaintingChef posting for Zube)

Miss Cora Jane.

Born 5/16/2007 7:50 am.

6 pounds, 3 ounces.

18 inches long.

Reported to scream. A lot.

Pictures to follow. All snark and bitchiness uncharacteristically witheld due to the overwhelming awesomeness of the day.

Congratulations Mama Zube. The words "you've earned it" don't even come close. The internet loves you.

UPDATED with photos from Zube Girl.








Zube Boy and I are smitten. Thank you all! I couldn't have done it without you.

Because My Pregnant (Still!) Brain Can't Be Bothered to Stick With Just One Subject...

First things first. Barring anything crazy, like my stubborn ass kid-to-be deciding to flip over like most other good little babies have already done by now, or the Turtle deciding to make an early entrance, her/his birthday will be May 18th via c-section. I'm pretty sure. There is a small possibility that the kid will be born on May 21st, but I'm hoping and hoping that the surgeon will be able to do it on the 18th. I'll receive confirmation of that next Wednesday. Among other, very sensible reasons, like the fact that then Zube Boy would have an additional weekend to spend with us without having to take vacation time, I think a Taurus kid would blend a little better with my Cancer and Zube Boy's Pisces than a Gemini. But, you know, I really just want the kid to be healthy. That's all.

My god-daughter/niece? Is totally a Zube.



Check out her little hand. Hee. She's a wondermous foul-handed little cutie, that one. And I totally can't believe that MY brother, whom I used to raise bloody hell with is a Daddy. It's bizarre. And I'm sure he's probably going to be thinking the same about me. We have already determined that we're in for it when our kids are teenagers. You know, retribution and all.

I was talking to My Belle the other day, and we got around to the subject of pregnant bellybuttons. And how weird they are. And we were both surprised to learn that neither of us had outies, but rather, flatties. As in, no longer cavernous lint collecters. I sent her a picture of mine over e-mail and she called me and told me it looked weird...



I got all, WHATEVER, dude, I bet yours looks weird, too, on her ass. So, she sent me a picture of hers...



And together we determined that they both look...very weird.

On that note...holy shit. There's the very likely possibility we'll have a baby in just two weeks and two days. My head is spinning.