Adventures in Urinating...

My lovely sister, My Belle, and I had a fabulous phone conversation the other day.

My Belle: (Who also happens to be a Zube Girl, but it's not her freakin' blog, so neener): Hey, what's up?

Zube Girl: Nothing. How 'bout you?

MB: Yeah, so I just got a job working for an insurance agency.

ZG: Sweet.

MB: How was Moab?

ZG: It rocked. Though the trail scared me shitless at parts.

MB: Cool.

ZG: Dude, they had the nastiest toilets there. It was like a port-a-potty, but it was outside in this fence thing.

MB: Really?

ZG: Yeah, and there was this chain for your door. Heh. That'll keep 'em back.

MB: Keep who back? The throngs of people just wanting to see you takin' a pee.

ZG: Shut up. Anyway, it sucked because you don't flush the stuff, you just do your thing on top of everyone else's thing and walk away.

MB: Ewww.

ZG: And I had the pleasure of going in right after someone had taken a massive shit.

MB: You looked! That's nasty!

ZG: I did not look. Whatever. I could smell the stench.

MB: Shut up. You looked.

ZG: So what. So would you.

MB: No I wouldn't.

ZG: Yeah, you would, too. But, seriously, it was so nice not having to worry 'bout peeing on my feet!

MB: Ugh. Dontchya hate that!!!

ZG: I so wish I was a guy.

MB: Me too! Like, when you're camping, and you're trying to hide behind a car door or something, or at least be so far from camp that you're sure no one can see or hear you.

ZG: Hate that.

MB: How awkward is that?

ZG: Especially when you start peeing, and um, you've been drinking lots of, erm, water (Hi Mom!). You know, everybody drinks lots of water when they're camping.

MB: Exactly. Heh.

ZG: And you're peeing the 'Forever Pee' and the perfect spot of dirt to pee on has become a puddle and you're still not done. So, the pee starts splashing up on your ass!

MB: Ooooh man! Just sucks.

ZG: And, you've got your pants around your ankles and you're kind of walking backwards a little bit until, inevitably, you step in the puddle.

MB: Hello?! Don't forget that you always lose your balance.

ZG: God. What would it be like to pee standing up?

MB: Dude. That would be awesome.

ZG: Hey, well, I'd better go. I've got work to do.

MB: Okay. Love ya.

ZG: Love ya, miss ya.

MB: Bye.

ZG: Bye