Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Sock It to Me

You know what really sucks? No, no. Not that. I know it sucks when you pee a little while your laughing. Or, I mean, I've heard that sucks, too. But, do you know something else that really sucks? No. Well, let me tell you.

Let's say you've just gotten home from a hard day of work and you plop your stinky, big, lumpy* ass that looks like a baboon with an infection* on the couch and let out a big sigh. You decide the evening will be made perfect once you remove your boots.

You proceed to take them off one at a time. After wiggling your toes and realizing your socks are a little damp, you figure you'll just FREE YOUR FEET! 'Cuz feet love that shit.

Anyway, as you remove the last sock, for some godforsaken reason, your cerebral cortex decides it wants you to bring the sock to your nose and take a big whiff before you toss it back into your shoe. Yes, my friends. You smell your stinky dirty work sock. To make matters worse, opening your eyes midsniff, you happen to lock eyes with your husband.

I mean, seriously, what the FUCK can you SAY when your husband catches you smelling the socks you've been wearing for nine hours. It doesn't help that whenever you try to speak for the remainder of the evening, he cuts you off and says, "Shut up sock sniffer!"

But, I'm just sayin' that would really suck. You know. I'm sure it's happened to someone.

*Guess who helped me type today's entry? I'm married to a punk. But, he's making me a hot dog right now, so I'll keep him.

1 Leg Humps:

Chickie said...

Oh shit, this was too funny. The husband happened to walk into the room one day when I was sniffing my dogs back end to gauge how close to needing a bath she was. I will never forget the look of puzzled horror that was on his face. He just turned around and walked out.


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