I'm Green. And Not With Envy.

Dude, I totally have ESP. Like, I’m reading your mind right now. And you know what? You don’t believe me. May I point out the fact that if I'm not fucking telepathetic, how in the hell did I know that you didn’t believe me? Huh?

Anyway, you’re also pondering the green color of my blog, and how it reminds you a little bit of baby poo. And you’re like, yeah, you know, it was okay at first, but the more I look at it, it’s kind of an annoying color. I agree with you 100%, actually. Don’t feel bad for thinking that, or try pretending that I read your mind wrong. I know better. See this round thing above my shoulders with eyeballs in it? It's not just a hat rack. I know stuff about stuff.

So, with the puke green, I’m just over it. It’s so…so…’Ugly Ass Carpet Mom and Dad Thought Was Happenin’ Around the Same Time They Made Me Wear Those Plaid Bell Bottom Pants’ fucking ewwy green. But, I feel like I’m stuck with it. I know about as much about HTML as I do about, I don’t know, putting oil in my car.

And, that's not much. Ask Zube Boy. His motto is, “Honey, if you’re not going to change the oil, you might at least add some every now and again. But, it’s okay. I love you, and now I’m going to learn how to replace an engine.”

That's fucking right beyotch! You have clean man panties thanks to me, and I'll have a nicely lubed engine thanks to you. That's how relationships work, Mm-kay?

But, just so you all don’t think I'm all thinking my blog is beautiful, I'm not. My blog is fugly. I'm not sure what I should do about it.