Sunday, July 31, 2005

Bump and Grind

Sometimes, a wife is caught off guard by amorous feelings from her husband at bedtime, and before the evening's festivities can continue she must say, "Thust a thecond honey," and pull out her precious tooth grinding preventer.

There is no way to do this and be sexy about it. But, he's still sleeping next to me and even reminds me to put in my 'squeaker' before we go to bed. I guess that the squeaking sound it makes is better than the sound of me grinding my teeth. Either that, or he loves me so much he doesn't want me to have to get another root canal!

I suppose that's just another one of those things that is marriage.

And, for real, if you grind your teeth at night; this little guard I bought at the grocery store kicks ass. It's waaaaaaay less expensive than the ones you get from the dentist. I think it was $30 bucks or something. And no one even paid me anything to tell you that.

6 Leg Humps:

Anonymous said...

Maybe you should try it once with the guard still in... the squeaking might be a turn-on. It would also be a freakishly reliable indicator of how attractive you really are to your husband (you have to test them sometimes, y'know?).

Just a thought- I couldn't think of anything profound. Sorry.

Anonymous said...

Hmm...thanks for the sell.

My dentist has been hinting for a few years I needed to get one; I was thinking he was just trying to squeeze more $ from me. I never asked his price. But $30! That's totally resonable.

Zube said...

Bonanza- Ah yes, a test. I'm all for it. And no need for anyone to be profound around here! Sincerely.

Cassiopeia- You buy it at the grocery store, and form it to your own mouth after boiling it in water.

I love that fucking thing. It is most certainly conducive to avoiding tooth grinding induced root canals. And root canals, in case you didn't know, suck all hell. I've had it for maybe four months now, and it has holes chewed in it already. I understand now how much my teeth might hate that grinding shit!

PaintingChef said...

I fully support anything that prevents a root canal.

Zube said...

Painting Chef- Root canals are a thing to be avoided! For sure.

Cary said...

ZG i have the same "squeaker" as you do! i love mine. it sure has helped me get a much more restful sleep as well. i feel a ton better in the morning now that i have it, though it wasnt root canals that made me get it, it was splitting headaches. but we use what works i guess. cool blog by the way.


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