Tuesday, August 30, 2005

An Ass Monkey By Any Other Name Would Still Be...Uh...Your Husband

Zube Boy and I have very special names for one another.

Honey: However trite, this is the most often used moniker in the Zube household. As you'll see, we more than make up for the lack of orginality with some others.

Anything Ending in 'Lips': Asslips; Honeylips; Bitchlips; Shovellips; Honkylips; and on and on and on.

Ass Monkey: Nothing says love like a reference to the rear end of a primate.

Ass Clown: This term of endearment is reserved for those special moments when one of us is kind of mad at the other, but kind of laughing despite themself.

Anything Ending in 'Tits' (invariably used by him to me): Wiggletits; Honeytits; and any of the prefixes to the abovementioned 'Lips' including but not exclusive to Shoveltits.

Hundies: This one has a story. Years back, Zube Boy had the distinct pleasure of walking in on me in the bedroom while I was putting on my underwear. I presume hundies is a combination of 'Honey' and 'Undies' but I've never asked. I'm hoping it's not an abridged way of saying 'holey undies' but I'd be okay with 'holy undies'.

Honks and Chunks: I'm Honks, and he's Chunks.

I can't think of anymore right now, though I'm sure that's not it.

18 Leg Humps:

Anonymous said...


I have never given much thought to what we call each other, but I doubt it would be this funny.

I'm taking up Hundies for my husband myself, except for me it will be for holey undies.

Love it!

kyknoord said...

Brilliant. You've inspired me to create a whole new suite of terms of endearment for the missus. Incidnetally, I notice that 'titlips' isn't specifically on your list. Nor is 'liplips'. How odd.

PaintingChef said...

Love it! I can always count on you and Zube Boy to make me feel like I'm going to be just fine...Actually, those are much more loving than ours so twolips biglips thumbslips uplips to you! Teehee...

Julie Marsh said...

Those are pretty good! You are making me feel better about the fact that we use unusual terms of endearment too, and that's not limited to just Kyle and me - it extends to the entire family.

Kyle's parents THOUGHT they could get away with being called Grandma and Grandpa. Not a chance in this family.

zazzafooky said...

You guys are so much fun!.... I love it... "hundies" AHHAHAHA

Tessa said...

Oh no! Looks like you're gettin' spam comments! Booooooo.

Anyhoo - we do the generic 'honey' all the time. Then there's the generic 'babe.' The only off-kilter one would be his calling me 'babybutt.'

I pretend to think its dumb, but secretly? Oh yeah, too cute.

peg said...

never a dull moment huh?

Anonymous said...

I'm glad you're a comment whore. We need more whores of any kind.

PaintingChef said...

Damn...three spammers...you are one popular young lady!

Zube said...

Painting Chef- Actually, I've been deleting them as I go. I've actually deleted 15. Does anyone know how to fucking disable anonymous comments???

Doggie Extraordinaire's Mom said...

Yours are great and they make me feel better about some of the names we use over here.

My boyfriend and I have many made-up words for one another, like Schwee (shortened from Schweetie), Giebeedoux (G-B-Do) and Hune (Hewn) due to some typo problems when IM'ing each other. We vary them according to the situation as well. If my Giebeedoux has a tummy ache and has to have a bowel movement, he turns immediately into Poopeedoux.

No, we're not French -- we're just wacky.

Chris & Cheryl said...

Love your names, they are so funny! Especially like Ass Monkey.

I call mine Honey-Bunny and Love Muffin. He mostly calls me Woman and sometimes Sweetie.

Phil said...

Zubegirl, here's how to disable anon comments in Blogger:

Go to Blogger and sign in.
Go to the administration screen (where you can edit your posts, etc.)
Click on the "Settings" tab.
Click on the "Comments" option near the top.
Next to "Who can comment?" select "Only Registered Users" from the pull-down.
Alternately you can select "Yes" next to "Show word verification for comments?" This will still allow anonymous comments, but requires commentors to enter in a "password" that is displayed in a graffic, so the spambots won't be able to.

Now, please explain "Shoveltits" lol


big daddy love said...

Hey Zube,

I am curious, what's with the penis to the right of your head in your profile photo?

Zube said...

Okay, I've been extremely lazy replying to comments, and I apologize. I do want to thank all y'all for commenting.

Phil- THANK YOU! I've disabled anonymous comments. Sweet.

BDL- HA! I've been waiting for months for someone to notice that AND ask me about it. It was my bachelorette (or however the fuck you spell that) party, and that is a penis water gun.

big daddy love said...

Yeah, leave it to me to notice.

Zube said...

Ah, others probably noticed, but kept on assuming I was just a ho. :-) Thanks for asking.

Anonymous said...

"CellPhone Tits" had me sleeping on the couch for 2 nights.

Avoid that one.


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