Monday, August 22, 2005

Woe Is Me

What do you think all of these things might have in common?

- A beautiful horse on that Houston ASPCA show on Animal Planet

- A cute kitty at Petco that I didn't adopt

- The inability to find a book I wanted to read at the bookstore

- My toothpaste falling off of my toothbrush

- Leaving Denver to head back home

All of the above things, and then some, made me fucking cry yesterday. Seriously. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. And I don't mean little tears. I'm talking sobs here. All yesterday I was taking those deep post-crying breaths like I'd been weeping for hours.

I totally freaked out Zube Boy. He was having a cup of coffee at the bookstore, reading a book, while I wandered about, stifling tears. When I finally sat down with him, he said, "Honey, your eyes look red. What's that about?" This is when the floodgates opened and The Waterworks, as we've so aptly named them, began. I managed to slobber out a barely decipherable, "You weren't supposed to say anything. I was trying to keep it together."

Don't you guys know that if a girl looks like she has been crying, you are supposed to zip it, at least until you are out of the public domain? I can hold back tears like a pro until someone says, "What's wrong?" It's like rule #4592-A in the boyfriend/husband/coworker/stranger handbook. Act like everything is fine, until you are in private.

I really and truly have nothing to be upset about. Maybe my body is simply purging itself of stuff it needs to get rid of. Like all the little shit I hold inside on a daily basis has begun to overflow. I'm a firm believer in the healthfullness of crying. But, for fuck's sake, you'd think I could at least start The Waterworks over something that makes sense, ya know?

Eh well, I'm not going to waste my time trying to figure it out. I'll just hope the boo-hoo-fest doesn't continue today because I've got to work and I'd rather not lose it there.

21 Leg Humps:

Kjersten said...

Hey! I thought I was the only one! "What's wrong" is the absolute worst thing anyone could say to me when I'm on the verge of crying. It's like your body can't help but answer and *show* them exactly what's wrong.

Zube Girl said...

Kjersten- Totally! I thought that was true for everyone, but maybe not. Hopefully people don't think I'm a bitch when I take a more hands-off approach to them if they look upset. That's just the way I would want to be dealt with.

my belle said...

hey tree!! I think it also runs in the family, seriously I was watching paternity testing on the Maury show the other day and it was one of those where you're suposed to just laugh because the girl was a ho anyway well the whole show I just cried for every girl on the show(and it's not even that time of the month)

zazzafooky said...

I go through that once in a while and attribute it either to raging hormones or just being overdue for a good release.

The floodgate thing is the worst though. My hubs does that to me when he asks "what's wrong...?" On comes the faucet!

Phil said...

Maybe you're pregnant. That usually causes huge mood swings and such. Or so I hear. ;)


Bonanza Jellybean said...

Gosh, I sure didn't help. did I? :(

I HATE that Animal Planet show. I just can't watch it. I can watch people killing each other all day with lots of effects and stuff, but that show KILLS me.

And the state of our literary choices is worth tears. Perfectly justified.

Toothpaste can be a bitch to clean up if it dries. Again, justified.

And the cute kitty... well, I'm the wrong one to talk about animals today, but they're always worth a tear. Tell Zube Boy to bite it and go get your kitty. Or just go get it and do the "honey, it just showed up and no one seems to own it and it's not any trouble at all." It usually works for me. It's a lot harder to get rid of it once it's there. :)

So don't beat yourself up- ALL of that seems perfectly reasonable to me!

Chickie said...

If for some reason I'm upset before work I try to avoid Sweety. His asking me what's wrong or saying that I sound funny is enough to send me right off the cliff and back to square one with trying to contain myself.

I agree with the above, a new kitty would probably soothe you.

I hope the mood goes away soon.

junebee said...

Oh, gee, I hope you feel better soon. I hate that crap. Sometimes just THINKING about the littlest things make me cry.
It's hard to say something inspirational, stuff like "keep your chin up" just seems so fake because you aren't really in the other person's shoes. Just give your kitties a hug, that's what I do. Not that the cats could give a crap. But someone warm and purry can be comforting. And they won't ask you "what's wrong,honey?" But at least Zube Boy cared enough to ask, timing aside. Some guys are clueless.

Zube Girl said...

My Belle- You are too cute. Hos deserve a few tears, too. Definitely.

And, in case anyone was wondering, my sisters call me Tree. :-)

TJ- I'm thinking it's because I'm overdue for a good release. The hormone thing wouldn't make sense unless...

Phil- You've said what each of my coworkers have said. Hmmm...That'd be cool!

Bonanza Jellybean- Oh my gawd, I was balling reading your post today. And you are so sweet for validating each of my little boo-hoo sessions. :-)

Chickie- I just can't handle when he asks me if I'm okay. And I'm kind of a proud little shit, or I try to be. There are times when I just don't want him to see me cry. Particularly when I'm crying for no good reason.

Junebee- I surely will hug the kitties. It's pretty funny because as snotty as they can be, whenever I'm upset they usually find it in their chilly hearts to hop on my lap and rub their head on my chin. I love that.

Blog ho said...

i'm crying just thinking about this.

Zube Girl said...

Blog Ho- Dammit. You fucked up my crying streak. Now I'm stifling giggles. Fucker.

Jerzey Girl said...

my first thought? pregnant.. I remember crying over the littlest things when i was preggo. but then again, everyone needs a good cry every now and then, maybe it was just your time for one.

Courtney said...

Awww. ***big hugs***

jules said...

Oh yeah, I know all about that! I just had a day like that on Friday (but noone luckily asked me what's wrong) .. plus it was the end of PMS. Then I watched Six Feet Under last night! More crying, but at least I had a reason! And Animal Planet makes me cry all of the time. I once watched AP on a flight from NYC to FLA crying the entire way practically. Yeah, I know, I could've changed the channel!!

Doggie Extraordinaire's Mom said...

For me, one "questionable" sob will lead to a shitload more if I don't figure out what made me so sad (beneath the Animal Planet tear-jerkers), so perhaps your tear ducts just felt like they weren't done from the first one.

Be glad you didn't watch Extreme Home Makeover. If you're anything like me and my friends, that's a sob fest that cannot be stopped.

However, I hope for your sake it's a pregnancy symptom. That would be so wonderful! Imagine 9 months of watching Animal Planet and bawling your eyes out. Awww, I have my fingers crossed for you.

Storm said...

hmmm... pregnant was my first thought too... I hope so! It'd suck to go through all that for nothing! ;)

Although I must say, I have days like that every now and then, where it takes absolutely nothing to set me off. Sucks ass. And rule #4592-A? What I hate is when bosses ignore that rule.

Cassiopeia said...

Well that's cool that you're cool with being pregnant! Mama Zube!

Sometimes I hate being a woman, and just crying for no reason, or at the drop of a hat. Fucking hormones!

My friend just had a baby on the 11th. She's been crying for the last week straight.

kyknoord said...

Anybody here who cries over things that make sense? Hands up. Come on... don't be shy. BANG! Right. Anyone else? Didn't think so.

Zube Girl said...

Jerzey Girl- Heh. That would be interesting. :-)

Courtney- Thanks for the hugs! I needed 'em. I'm finally feeling a little swell today.

Librarian Extraordinaire- I've heard Extreme Home Makeover is a TOTAL tearjerker! Whew. It would be cool if it were a pregnancy symptom. I don't want to get too excited about it, but we'll see.

Storm- Oh my gawd, I HATE when bosses break that rule! Especially boy bosses. My boss now is hella cool, so I wouldn't mind so much. But I'll be damned if I haven't shocked the hell out of a poor boss of the male persuasion by crying in his office in response to his asking me how what's wrong.

Cassiopeia- We'll see what happens!

It was so funny, when I started crying at the bookstore, and Zube Boy and I went out to the car, he was like, "Why are you crying?" I said, "I don't know." His response was, "Whew, honey. Girls are kind of weird." "I know."

Kyknoord- Thank you! Sometimes it is nice to be just like everyone else. :-)

PaintingChef said...

Yeah...I was thinking pregnant too...

Zube Girl said...

PaintingChef- We'll see!


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