Monday, September 19, 2005

Good Zube Girl Confines Me...

We had a mandatory meeting about health insurance today. Or rather, we discussed a bunch of letters, so far as I could tell. HSA's, UHC, PCP, LSD, and a bunch of other crap. Basically, I have an aversion to understanding grown-up things like 401K's and health insurance. So, like a good girl, I get all of the brochures, and bring them home to my husband. He figgers that shit out for me. I know, I know. Not very Progressive Feminist of me. Shut up. I'm too busy speaking at rallies and saving the world to worry about the hundred dollars I manage to contribute to our retirement.

Anyway, I took some notes:



Other than the fact that there was a lot of sneezing going on (I think we at my work are allergic to meetings) I managed to have a little fun. In my head only, because Good Zube Girl was sadly the Zube Girl du jour.

Insurance Rep: So, even though the plan does not cover lasick surgery or dental work, you can use the funds in your Health Savings Account towards any medical expenses like that.

Coworker: How about prescriptions?

Insurance Rep: Yep. You can get a debit card through the provider and pay for prescriptions with the money in your HSA.

Bad Zube Girl Wanted to Say: What about boob jobs?

It would have been AWESOME if I'd asked it because everyone was sitting there looking all serious. Or seriously bored. Or seriously upset that co-pays are going by the way of the dinosaur at our company. I could have lightened the mood a bit. But, Good Zube Girl wouldn't let me.

I think I nourished the Good Zube Girl by eating a banana and drinking juice for breakfast this morning. I should've opted for the Snickers bar and a beer. Maybe tomorrow...

10 Leg Humps:

Phil said...

That's why I always kept a beer or two in my desk . . . so I could let the bad nomad out now and again. Er, I mean: Yaaarrr! Ye should always keep some rum around!

Okay, not really. But a guy I used to work with really did always keep a few bottle of Guinness stashed, just in case. lol

Phil
http://nomadechoes.blogdrive.com

Doggie Extraordinaire's Mom said...

Oh, but they pay for fucking VIAGRA! Stupid insurance companies. I hate them. They pay less and less and charge more and more in premiums. Where's Hilary when we need her?

Oh, and what was with all the blessing? Are you a Hari Krishna now?

Storm said...

maybe you could nourish both versions of you by having a chocolate covered banana.

PaintingChef said...

Well I'm anti-progressive feminist right there with you. I don't even HAVE insurance through my work. The insurance at Patrick's company is SO much better AND less expensive. Its a no-brainer. I just told him NO HMO'S and he went from there.

Zube said...

Phil- Arrr! Dude, that guy must be pretty nuts! I can't imagining being at work and cracking open a brewskie. Well, before the days out anyway.

Edee- That's right! I HATE eye exams. Hate, hate, hate. "1 or 2" "2 or 3" "1 or 3" Idon'tfuckingknow!!!! They all look blurry okay? I always feel like I'm taking a test and I'm giving the wrong answers.

TJ- See, I probably could have pulled if off if I'd said, "breast augmentation." Damn.

Librarian- Seriously. VIAGRA! Craziness. Oh yeah, and bless you. ;-)

Storm- Now, the chocolate covered banana just might have worked.

PaintingChef- I don't feel so bad anymore. All that stuff just flies right over my head.

KjerstenGreg said...

We have United Healthcare at our company... I just plan on not getting sick for as long as I work here. Anything else would be too expensive.

Anonymous said...

My favorite is that they cover preganacy but not birth control, and I can get a hot tub covered if for therapy, but I can't have my boob job covered.

And love the doodles.

junebee said...

Ooh, I see Zubeboy's real name...

You should have asked if they cover boob jobs. When the rep said no, then you could have asked, what about lasik surgery on the boobs?

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