Monday, September 19, 2005

Good Zube Girl Confines Me...

We had a mandatory meeting about health insurance today. Or rather, we discussed a bunch of letters, so far as I could tell. HSA's, UHC, PCP, LSD, and a bunch of other crap. Basically, I have an aversion to understanding grown-up things like 401K's and health insurance. So, like a good girl, I get all of the brochures, and bring them home to my husband. He figgers that shit out for me. I know, I know. Not very Progressive Feminist of me. Shut up. I'm too busy speaking at rallies and saving the world to worry about the hundred dollars I manage to contribute to our retirement.

Anyway, I took some notes:



Other than the fact that there was a lot of sneezing going on (I think we at my work are allergic to meetings) I managed to have a little fun. In my head only, because Good Zube Girl was sadly the Zube Girl du jour.

Insurance Rep: So, even though the plan does not cover lasick surgery or dental work, you can use the funds in your Health Savings Account towards any medical expenses like that.

Coworker: How about prescriptions?

Insurance Rep: Yep. You can get a debit card through the provider and pay for prescriptions with the money in your HSA.

Bad Zube Girl Wanted to Say: What about boob jobs?

It would have been AWESOME if I'd asked it because everyone was sitting there looking all serious. Or seriously bored. Or seriously upset that co-pays are going by the way of the dinosaur at our company. I could have lightened the mood a bit. But, Good Zube Girl wouldn't let me.

I think I nourished the Good Zube Girl by eating a banana and drinking juice for breakfast this morning. I should've opted for the Snickers bar and a beer. Maybe tomorrow...

12 Leg Humps:

Phil said...

That's why I always kept a beer or two in my desk . . . so I could let the bad nomad out now and again. Er, I mean: Yaaarrr! Ye should always keep some rum around!

Okay, not really. But a guy I used to work with really did always keep a few bottle of Guinness stashed, just in case. lol

Phil
http://nomadechoes.blogdrive.com

edee said...

That stinks that they don't cover the important things like boob jobs or botox. I am sure it is only a matter of time before some insurance company out of LA sets out to make us look better rather than feel better. I think we would pay more attention to our benefits if we had fun things like collegan and eyeliner tatooing to look forward to rather than our annual eye exam..

zazzafooky said...

You could have totally swooped in a pc version by asking about

"breast augmentation"

That would have cracked me way the hell up!

Doggie Extraordinaire's Mom said...

Oh, but they pay for fucking VIAGRA! Stupid insurance companies. I hate them. They pay less and less and charge more and more in premiums. Where's Hilary when we need her?

Oh, and what was with all the blessing? Are you a Hari Krishna now?

Storm said...

maybe you could nourish both versions of you by having a chocolate covered banana.

PaintingChef said...

Well I'm anti-progressive feminist right there with you. I don't even HAVE insurance through my work. The insurance at Patrick's company is SO much better AND less expensive. Its a no-brainer. I just told him NO HMO'S and he went from there.

Zube Girl said...

Phil- Arrr! Dude, that guy must be pretty nuts! I can't imagining being at work and cracking open a brewskie. Well, before the days out anyway.

Edee- That's right! I HATE eye exams. Hate, hate, hate. "1 or 2" "2 or 3" "1 or 3" Idon'tfuckingknow!!!! They all look blurry okay? I always feel like I'm taking a test and I'm giving the wrong answers.

TJ- See, I probably could have pulled if off if I'd said, "breast augmentation." Damn.

Librarian- Seriously. VIAGRA! Craziness. Oh yeah, and bless you. ;-)

Storm- Now, the chocolate covered banana just might have worked.

PaintingChef- I don't feel so bad anymore. All that stuff just flies right over my head.

Kjersten said...

We have United Healthcare at our company... I just plan on not getting sick for as long as I work here. Anything else would be too expensive.

Bonanza Jellybean said...

My favorite is that they cover preganacy but not birth control, and I can get a hot tub covered if for therapy, but I can't have my boob job covered.

And love the doodles.

junebee said...

Ooh, I see Zubeboy's real name...

You should have asked if they cover boob jobs. When the rep said no, then you could have asked, what about lasik surgery on the boobs?

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