Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Mother Goosemouse is in Da House!

Here we have Mother Goosemouse, badass guest star extraordinaire. Hear her out right down thar, and then hop on over to her crib. It's entertaining there!

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Zube Girl and I have a great deal in common, and I'm sure that as soon as we sit down and have a beer together, we'll discover loads more. We each have a New Jersey past, a Colorado future, and an incurable potty mouth.

Growing up, I mostly heard choice phrases from my parents and my favorite aunt Linda. None of them dropped f-bombs, but the other top five words (damn, hell, bitch, ass, shit) were used. Not often, but often enough that we knew them.

I didn't learn the word "fuck" until I was in second grade and heard other kids saying it. I asked another girl what it meant. She said, and I quote, "Boys and girls in bed with their butts together."

What the fuck? That answer only served to confuse me more. I mean, what was the point of lying in bed with your posterior touching someone else's? It didn't sound particularly enticing, nor did it sound particularly sinister, so why was it so fun and yet so taboo to say that word?

I'm still not entirely sure why I enjoy using profanity. Sometimes it's because I'm telling a joke. Sometimes it's because I want to get someone's attention (which only works if you don't use profanity that often) - either because I'm angry or because I know that they think I won't say such a thing (which happened quite often working with contractors and sub-contractors in New York). And sometimes those words just FIT.

A friend of mine was told by her father that use of profanity belies an underdeveloped vocabulary. That's OK. I still kick ass at Scrabble because I'm a fucking awesome speller.

8 Leg Humps:

zazzafooky said...

Bull-fucking shit! Underdeveloped vocabulary my ass. While I admit cussing has it's place nothing beats the motherfucking cocksucking awesomeness of hardcore shove it up your ass superlatives like cunt, bitch, fucker, asshole, et all.

On the other hand, if you can't even spell "FUCKER" then you might have a problem! :-)

PaintingChef said...

Here here!!

I have an absolutely unfuckingbelievable vocabulary. I just happen to be emotionally attached to a few choice words.

Bonanza Jellybean said...

From the immortal "A Christmas Story": "My father worked in profanity the way other artists might work in oils or clay. It was his true medium, a master."

It is an art, and we have mastered it. Not everyone can. It takes a god-given talent and years of practice to achieve mastery.

mothergoosemouse said...

Jellybean, I FUCKING LOVE THAT MOVIE!!! You got it - that's exactly how I feel about the art.

PC and TJ, damn straight.

Kari said...

One of my favorite pieces tacked up on a college dorm room was the one in which "fuck" retains all parts of speech. Something along the lines of "That fucking fucker totally fucked up that fucking awesome car" but it contained more fuck. Pretty much no other word can do that.

junebee said...

I think nothing expresses anger as well as cuss words. And every one of them I learned from my mom. Not a good example to set for my kids.

I like the way your childhood friend described fucking. It was the usual childhood explanation - somewhat realistic but somewhat creative!

Al said...

I once saw a t shirt at a Raider game that read:

'Fuck you you fucking fuck'

Now, that's classic. How many other fucking words can you do that with? enough said...

kyknoord said...

"...underdeveloped vocabulary..." Hah! An overdeveloped is a sure sign of being unable to swear effectively. Using expressions like "blow it out your rectum" seldom get the point across.

 

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