Mother Goosemouse is in Da House!

Here we have Mother Goosemouse, badass guest star extraordinaire. Hear her out right down thar, and then hop on over to her crib. It's entertaining there!

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Zube Girl and I have a great deal in common, and I'm sure that as soon as we sit down and have a beer together, we'll discover loads more. We each have a New Jersey past, a Colorado future, and an incurable potty mouth.

Growing up, I mostly heard choice phrases from my parents and my favorite aunt Linda. None of them dropped f-bombs, but the other top five words (damn, hell, bitch, ass, shit) were used. Not often, but often enough that we knew them.

I didn't learn the word "fuck" until I was in second grade and heard other kids saying it. I asked another girl what it meant. She said, and I quote, "Boys and girls in bed with their butts together."

What the fuck? That answer only served to confuse me more. I mean, what was the point of lying in bed with your posterior touching someone else's? It didn't sound particularly enticing, nor did it sound particularly sinister, so why was it so fun and yet so taboo to say that word?

I'm still not entirely sure why I enjoy using profanity. Sometimes it's because I'm telling a joke. Sometimes it's because I want to get someone's attention (which only works if you don't use profanity that often) - either because I'm angry or because I know that they think I won't say such a thing (which happened quite often working with contractors and sub-contractors in New York). And sometimes those words just FIT.

A friend of mine was told by her father that use of profanity belies an underdeveloped vocabulary. That's OK. I still kick ass at Scrabble because I'm a fucking awesome speller.