It’s our second Valentine’s Day
As husband and wife.
For the most part I’ve been
Fairly happy with life.
I’ve been thinking a little
About how we’ll endure
Without one of us killing the other
And stashing the body under the crawl space door.
I know you’d love
If I made you more cookies
And you’d probably be happy
If we made more, uh, nookie.
I promise to honor these wishes my dear.
I’ve got one request that I’d like you to hear.
For cookies and nookie don’t come for free.
All good things that come, they come for a fee.
So, when jeeps happen to flip over
Could you try not to be in them?
Or at least while they flip
Could you keep your foot in ‘em?
‘Cause ‘in sickness and health’ is a great promise in theory
And offroading is fun but the injuries grow weary.
As long as crutches remain a thing in your past
I think we can make this marriage of ours last.