Tuesday, June 13, 2006

I Want. To Touch. The Hiney.

Z-Boy: Honey, shoosh, this is my favorite commercial.

Z-Girl: I don’t know what it is with you and tampon commercials.

Z-Boy: They just, I don’t know, make me wish I got a period.

Z-Girl: Why?

Z-Boy: Because it looks so fun. Those chicks are always going to parties and running in fields and riding bikes and doing yoga.

Z-Girl: Heh.

In other news, I was meeting with someone who wanted to sell me some advertizin’ and shit at work the other day and my mind started to wander a little. I confess. It happens. Anyway, sometimes during those meetings I’ll start imagining really odd things I could do to mess with their salespersony asses. Like, when they ask me if I have any questions, what would they do if I said, “Yes, as a matter of fact. I'd like to know if I can touch your hiney?” Or, I wonder how they’d react if I leaned over and kissed their cheek right in the middle of their shpeel. Is ‘shpeel’ even a real word? It’s not recognized by MS Word. And MS Word’s not giving me any other suggestions. Oh well.

The only bad thing about this 'mind-wandering' thing I get is that I'll be all smirking despite myself and I probably look a little loony.

Hope you’re having a fantabulous day.

12 Leg Humps:

Amy said...

Shpeel has to be a word, because I use it all the time and I LOVE it. It especially comes in handy with teenagers who are often giving you a "shpeel" about something or other. ;o)

Northern_Girl said...

If I were the one you asked - as I have those kind of meetings all the time - I'd probably say something wise-ass back like: "only if I can touch yours first". And if you gave me a kiss on the cheek, I'd believe that somewhere an auctioneer yelled "sold" and signed contracts would magically appear on the table.

BTW - "spiel" (noun) [speel, shpeel] speech designed to convince, an irritatingly long or predictably glib speech, or example, a rambling apology or a prepared sales patter

ex: this comment

Samantha said...

When my mind wanders it's usually kissing someone as well. Just to see how they'd react. And if someone is annoying me, I just smile sweeetly and imagine hitting them round the face with a phone book *laughs*

Lisa said...

You guys have the best conversations. They make me laugh hysterically. And I love his reasons for wishing he had a period.

Crazy Lady said...

I zone out in meetings too. I start thinking about mundane things; what should I fix for dinner; can I get by without doing laundry for one more day? You're imagination is so much more active than mine!

angel said...

doll- i can sympathise- i have whole conversations in my head with all the accompanying expressions, head shakes and twitches!
i can just imagine what it looks like in the traffic!

Ginamonster said...

heh. now the next time someone asks if I have any questions I will start giggling. Thankfully, my coworkers and family have come to expect this sort of behavior. I've learned to tell them they don't want to know what is so funny. (want to touch the hiney...)

Bonanza Jellybean said...

Girls in commercials never have cramps or bloating or are eating chocolate by the pound or are lying in the middle of the floor weeping. They leave those parts out. Sheesh- doesn't he KNOW that?

Besides, men are weak. One cramp? They'd blow their brains out.

Phil said...

See, just like calendars, dictionaries are kinda pointless. You're pretty sure "shpeel" is a word, but since you're unaware that it's spelled "spiel" you can't look it up to verify it, or even see if you're spelling it correctly.

Maybe that's the question you should ask next time . . . "Is 'spiel' a word, and how do you spell it?" That way, you could get the deer-in-headlights response without risk of a sexual harassment suit.

And don't worry about the smirk making you look loony. I'm pretty sure every salesperson that meets you is well aware of your looniness within the first few minutes, whether you're smirking or not. :)

Phil
Echoes in a Nomad's Head

kyknoord said...

If your mind sees mine while it's out wandering, please tell it to come home. All is forgiven.

RisibleGirl said...

My husband freaks OUT if he even thinks it's going to be a feminine hygiene commercial. He's happy to have TiVo.

I remember once we were watching a show live (horrors!) and there was a commercial for some medication to help dry eyes. He started getting all uncomfortable thinking it was a 'lube' commercial.

I was ON.THE.FLOOR laughing at him.

junebee said...

Or you could start singing the "Hineylicker" song.

 

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