Because...

...Typing while laying down sucks.

...I can only tell the tale so many times without losing my shit.

...You all are like family to me anyway...

I am posting a message here that I e-mailed to my family so you all know what we're up to. It's not as peppered with foul language as some of my posts are, but that's about the only difference between what I want to share with the people I love like family and the people I love just as much on the internets. Please keep us in your thoughts.


Hey all!

Sorry for the mass e-mail! I just wanted to let you know how we're doing. You might have heard through the family grapevine that I was in the hospital Saturday night showing signs of preterm labor. I'm 21 weeks along and had a routine ultrasound where they check the baby to make sure everything is measuring okay and all the essential organs are present. The good news is that the baby looks perfect. Sucking his or her thumb and somersaulting all over the place. The bad news is that my body has prematurely decided to get a little lazy with this business of cooking up a human. For any of my fellow Google-aholics out there, what I have is called an incompetent cervix. In any future pregnancies I'll be given a cerclage at 14 weeks as a preventative measure.

They were going to give me a cerclage on Saturday but in pre-op I was hooked up to a moniter which said that I was having minor contractions and unfortunately, once contractions have started, a cerclage is a bad idea. For now they've prescribed bedrest. I'm allowed to get up and go to the bathroom. And that's it. It is SO not fun. Especially given that I'm not a big fan of soap operas or those annoying injury lawyer commercials. But, hopefully, it will all be worth it in the end.

Incompetent cervix and contractions aren't the only things we have going on. They did a blood test which shows that I have a small amount of fetal cells in my blood. This can signify a placental abruption (another Google-worthy phrase). If that is the case, it is only a minor one. Women do stay pregnant with partial abruptions, we just have to moniter the growth of the baby closely to make sure the placenta is still doing it's job of nourishing him/her.

In addition I'm awaiting several cultures which will tell us if there is some kind of infection. A very, very bad thing would be if I have an infection in my blood. If that is the case, I'll have to have an immediate amniocintesis. If that shows the infection is in my uterus, things are dire. I'd rather not think about it, but you all can feel free to hope and pray like hell that that's not what's going on here. The doctor did say that she doesn't think this is the case as my white blood cell counts have been okay and I haven't had a fever. But it is a possibility.

If you wouldn't mind sending us some thoughts and prayers they would be greatly appreciated. Heck, we'll take voodoo and naked dances under the full moon if that's what you're into. We certainly don't discriminate against well wishes and whatever form they might take.

We're doing pretty well considering. I'm bored out of my skull but trying to keep my chin up. Friends have offered to help with the shopping and have already started bringing us dinners to help Zube Boy out since I'm pretty well incapacitated. Zube Boy is just incredible. Though he did daresay, I think buoyed by the fact that I'm unable to leap off of the couch and bitchslap him, "So, honey, I've done the dishes, the laundry, vacuumed, fed the animals, and made dinner. What do you do around here that takes up so much time anyway?" Hee. He'll be lucky if he survives this, I think. But really, he's handling being the only mobile human in the house fabulously.

My boss is going to get me set up to work from home, so fortunately we'll be able to endure this without losing my paycheck. She's also offered to send one of the hotel housekeepers over once a week to clean up because she rocks like that. I'm really lucky to work where I do.

Despite keeping up my general good spiritedness, I'm pretty damn sad. To be honest, it's entirely possible that this just might not work. I have an appointment on Thursday and I promise to keep you updated, but in the meantime I could use all the encouragement you can muster. I'm not really good at asking for stuff like that, but I'm a little desparate. Being stuck laying down 24 hours a day makes it really difficult to distract myself from worry.

I hope you're all doing well. Let me know! I have plenty of time to read your updates, both mundane and life-altering.

Thanks for reading my novella,

Love,
Zube Girl