Thursday, April 26, 2007

It Must Have Been So Funny She Just Forgot to Laugh...

The Scene: I'm in the hardware store for, ahem, the THIRD time that day buying plumbing supplies. For Zube Boy. I really don't want to complain though because I'd rather be buying shit pipes than installing them. Anyway, I'm consulting Zube Boy via phone about my potential purchases...

Z-Boy: Okay, I need two 3" couplers.

Z-Girl: Black?

Z-Boy: Yes, black, like all the other stuff you bought.

Z-Girl: So everything will match and be all pretty under the floor?

Z-Boy: Exactly.

Z-Girl: Hmmm...Here's a 1 1/2" coupler.

Z-Boy: Honey, your poo won't fit down that. I need 3".

Z-Girl: *talking to myself* 3" coupler, 3" coupler, for my poo...AHA! Got it!

Z-Boy: Cool.

Z-Girl: So you need two?

Z-Boy: *shuffling stuff around* Umm, you know, maybe I only need one.

Z-Girl: So one?

Z-Boy: Um, I don't know. *shuffling more stuff around* Maybe two.

Z-Girl: So I'll get two.

Z-Boy: Oh wait, nope. I just need one.

Z-Girl: Honey.

Z-Boy: I think.

Z-Girl: Look, I'm buying two because I am not coming back here a fourth time.

Z-Boy: Okay.

*I waddle up to the counter, because that's how I roll these days, and plop my merchandise down in front of the cashier, who recognizes me from being there twice earlier*

Cashier: She's baaaaaaaaack!

Z-Girl: Yup, and I swear if you see me in here again today, I'll be spitting nails. Which would be cool for you because then you could sell them.

Cashier: *silently checks out my items*

Z-Girl: You know. This being a hardware store and all. Heh.

DUDE! I totally thought that was funny! What the fuck? Clearly I have lost my edge. She didn't even crack a smile. Eh well.

PS- No baby yet. However, it looks like the Turtle will be entering the world without a cone-head. In other words, s/he is still breech, and has dropped which will make turning even more difficult, so I'm probably going to be having a c-section. We still have a couple of weeks, so it's wait and see time. So I guess we'll just, wait and see. I'll keep you updated.

Stats for those who are so inclined to care:

As of yesterday, I am a fingertip dilated and 50% effaced.

14 Leg Humps:

Mamma Mia said...

K you have not lost your edge that was funny right there I don’t care who you are…
Maybe she was attacked once by a pissy almost 9 month pregnant lady??
Trauma memories??
Those of us who care... I care! and I am excited / nervous but mostly very excited!

Rich | Championable said...

Wow... I love the way you dropped the status bomb at the end there. Rock ON.

(And it WAS a good joke. You're not losing your edge... except that you give a shit if you're losing your edge, which is kind of losing your edge a little. I guess.)


serap said...

I thought it was a good joke too! And it was directly related to her line of work - I bet most people don't make that effort! While I am inclined to care about the stats, I have no idea what effaced means, but it must be good, so well done!

BaxterWatch said...

Just found your blog. Just read the back blog. Love it!!!

Good luck. Turtle is going to be a hoot with your combo DNA.

Ginamonster said...

That's generally when I announce the following..."Apparently, that one was just for me"

And us. Cuz, I thought it was funny.

Phil said...

So you're likely going to have a c-Turtle (get it? Sea Turtle . . . ha!). Hmmm, it's probably as quiet over there as it was in the hardware store.

Echoes in a Nomad's Head

Anonymous said...

Don't you just LOVE it? THEY know EXACTLY what THEY need and they send US instead.....we "plumbing-challenged women"! (at least I know I was!). Hope the "poop project" turned out A-OK! BTW....a C-section is not such a bad thing...I had 2 and if I were going to do it again (which I'm NOT!) I would opt to do it the same way! Just hoping the "Turtle" is healthy!

PaintingChef said...

Oh yes. I've become quite familiar with the hardware store during our home improvement project. And the people at ACE? They know me. And they have Patrick on speed dial. "Your wife is here again. And she's babbling nonsense again. WHAT do you need?"

Grrlie said...

I thought it was funny, for whatever that's worth. :)

Have only just discovered your blog, and well, in reading your previous posts I have literally laughed right out loud more than once.

Cashier-girl was probably tired of standing there and just ready to go home. Either that or she accidentally shoved her funny bone in with someone else's poo-pipes.

Dink said...

Yeah, that was funny.

And I am translating that status report into "Get off your fat ass and finish her present already or the kid will be twelve before it arrives." :)

Fogspinner said...

Humm there has been a long pause. Does that mean the turtle has landed?

Laurie said...

hope you've had that baby!

good luck!

Rainypete said...

So close now. I can't wait to find out how it all goes! I'm praying for you all, c-turtle included!

lala said...

I found you through Plain Jane Mom. I wish you the best of luck with your delivery. I've been through pregnancy after loss too and that's how I got into blogging, through the Barren Bitches Brigade. Glad to have found you, I'll just be rootin' around through the archives over here.....


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