Wednesday, October 31, 2007

I Like Bread Butts and I Cannot Lie...

Seriously. Bread butts are good. I make two sandwiches out of them. Only one butt per sandwich. But the butt has to be on top. Just the way it goes. And I can't eat a sandwich using both bread butts. Because too much of a good thing is Just. So. Wrong. At least in my world.

In other news, let's pretend I posted this yestereday. Because that was my intention. I was playing the "What was I doing a year ago, two years ago today?" and what I found got me thinking. It's like, I always, always wish, in all my years of writing diaries and blogs and such, that I could go back now and console or encourage my past selves when I reread what they've written.

my ghosts on a page. And they feel so real to me. So present. But they're not really. They're the past. Haunting me in the present. And by haunting, I don't mean they make me sad, exactly. I just wish that I could do something to ease their fears and sorrows. And I can't. Because there's no going back.

And no. In fact, I have not taken up smoking pot again. If I had, this entry would sound a little different:

Dude. I bet you guys can totally tell I'm stoned. You can, right? Oh my god. That guy walking his dog out there? I bet you he knows I'm holed up here at the computer all...stoned. EVERY-FUCKING-BODY KNOWS I'M STONED! OH MY GOD IS THAT THE COPS?!

Heh. Had to lay off the leafy greens for that very reason many moons ago.

I pass on grass, man. But don't worry. I'm not all anti-grass. I'd just pass it to you. To puff or pass. Are you smellin' what I'm not smoking?

In other, other news. Sometimes I like to announce in casual company that my baby hole itches. I like to watch and enjoy the uncomfortable squirming that ensues before I confess I had a c-section. An artificial baby hole, so to speak. One which is probably a little less embarrassing to admit is itching.

Happy Halloween to all and to all a good fright!

7 Leg Humps:

PaintingChef said...

heee... your baby hole.

So. Um. That's not a bad idea... the whole what was I doing thing. I may look into doing that. because I have literally ZERO original ideas of my own.

Shocker, I know.

Anonymous said...

Oh my god, you're crazy! (In a good, you'd be fun to hang out with kind of way.)

DelBoy said...

Long time no visit Zube Girl. Good to see the Zee Baby is so healthy. Thanks for the laugh (again)!

Rich | Championable said...

I was uncomfortably squirming HERE, until I hit the next sentence.

I'm just like you, pot-wise. I'm a big fan, and all... just not for me.


Crazy Lady said...

At the risk of sounding like a cheesy cigarette add - you've come a long way!

its E said...

Do you know the you are the first former Casa employee I have found online?

Effortlessly Average said...

Well that kinda stinks. Our only hope is that you HAVE been stoned all this time. heh. I kill me!

And I agree, the butt should always be on top. wink wink nudge nudge.


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