Monday, February 21, 2011

Isn't It Sad? Why Yes! It Is! How Goes It Pal?

I hate not being happy. I try to hide my not happy like I try to hide a Mt. Everest size zit with an abundance of cover-up. I'll laugh as I tell you I'm in an awful mood and had a really shitty morning. It is an attempt to fake it 'til I make it. Which means, I smile most when I'm really not happy. Damn. Just blew my cover.

I typically react to the hint of sadness by turning around and attempting to scrape and claw my way back up the incline I'd only begun to descend. Which is sorta stupid. Why go backwards? Why? Well, because it is safer to stand there at the mouth of the abyss, looking out over the unknown tree strewn valley than to actually make my way into it. Admittedly, though, it doesn't really get me anywhere.

I'll lie to myself and say I'm preparing. If preparing meant procrastinating, I wouldn't be lying.

Eventually, Sad morphs into a buddy and steps up and says, "Dude, stop laughing at me. Seriously. It was endearing for a while, but now, well, really. We've gotta go."

And the smartest thing to do at this moment is to clutch Sad's arm tightly, and start walking. Descending.

Because what goes down must come up, right?

I keep reminding myself that if it weren't for my past rendezvous with my old friend, Sad, I wouldn't be the person I am today. Scars from the bramble and all.

And so...Maybe I'm getting to the part where Procrastination meets Prepared. I foreshadowed that a bit back there and didn't even realize it...

Anyway, it's time.

0 Leg Humps:


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