Saturday, April 30, 2005

None the wiser...

Fuck. I'm scared! In about two hours, I'll have four less teeth. Be gone, oh useless, cavity-filled, hard to brush, partly covered by gums, wisdom teeth.

I hate the dentist. With a passion. Well, not the dentist him/herself, but the whole idea of sitting in a chair with scrapy things and needles all around and la, la la. Not to mention feeling five years old all over again. It's something about that chair, I swear.

Apparently, though, I won't recall a damn thing. They'll give me a memory blocker, so that I won't remember what's going on, but I'll be able to respond to directives, such as "Open wider!" Isn't that a little fucked up? They could totally take advantage of that. I wonder if they'll ask me fucked up questions just to entertain themselves...

I can see it now. Knee on my chest. Yanking out my tooth.

"So, you're from Jersey. Do you love Bon Jovi?"

"Ath a mather of fak, I yuv On Govi. Ut, I gever kell angyun 'cuz I'm koo engarassed."

"Do you ever pick your nose?"

"Ogy when I can't bgow da ooger out. Ut, I wipe it og a tissue after."

Then, every time I go to the dentist after, all the receptionists will giggle and whisper. They'll be all, "Oh, my God, she totally thinks Dr. Foxtrot is hot. Yup. She told him. Too bad she doesn't remember! Hee hee!" It's gonna suck.

Geez, as if I wasn't scared enough before I typed this! Fuck.

0 Leg Humps:


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