Performance Anxiety

I've had a revelation, induced by the consumption of Budweiser.

Blogging is a lot like sex.

Now, hear me out. Or rather, read me out my fellow mofo's. When you're writing in a journal or somesuch, it doesn't really matter how shitty the content is, because, ideally, you're the only one reading it.

Like, when you masturbate. Hey, if you're happy, well, you're happy! If you're getting yourself off, then nothin' else matters, does it? See what I mean?

No? What are you dense? Okay. Let me break it down for you.

I was reading the blog of the fantabulous Blog Ho and he consistently puts forth some great blog shit. I would freak the fuck out if I had like 50 comments on just one of my entries. Really. I would feel like I had to write a great blog entry All. The. Time. I don't know if I could handle the pressure. I'm just not as cool as the 'Ho'.

I'd be pretty damn flattered at first. Like a 'That's Right Bitches, I Fucking ROCK' kind of flattered. But, then I'd get all flustered thinking I had to ROCK consistently. When sometimes I actually prefer to SWAY. In the manner of Axl Rose singing 'Patience'. You know?

It's like being an okay lover for the most part. But, once in a while, you do a really great job of it, and your lovee is panting, "Holy shit. You are a great lover!" The recipient of the great loving is gonna expect that shit every damn day. But sometimes, you just wanna get laid, roll over and go to sleep.

I think I kind of like being 'Just a Lay' most of the time, with a surprise 'Great Fuck' here and there. You just never know what you're gonna get! Isn't that exciting?

No? Then go away.

Today's blog lesson is twofold. Blog Ho is a great mind fuck (hee, that's truly a compliment!) and I should not let Budweiser do the talking for me.

That is all.