Tuesday, July 19, 2005

A Scary Hairy Thingy

I left this little note for a good friend of mine...

My Dear Friend Whose Cats I Checked on While You Were Away,

I hope you had a wonderful time in Florida! The kitties seem to be fine, excepting one little dilemma poor Sonny experienced whilst you were gone. I wanted to leave you a note so you would understand if he seemed a little traumatized, and just in case you happened upon any evidence that I might have missed.

When I got to the house today to feed the felines, I noticed something dangling from Sonny’s bum. Upon closer inspection, I realized it was a piece of poo hanging from a long human hair that apparently he had decided to ingest. I think it was mine, ‘cause it was long and blond, so I'm sorry for shedding in your house. Anyway, to his dismay, it failed to entirely exit the anal canal, and had decided to hold a little terd there with it.

The odd dingleberry must’ve been fairly annoying, because Sonny looked frazzled when I arrived. In an attempt to dislodge the offending hair-held poo, I think he tried dragging his ass across the carpet. Obviously, this served no other purpose than to smear the carpet with, well, you know. Anyway, you’ll be happy to know that I pulled the hair out of his ass (god, I’ve always wanted to write a sentence such as that one) and cleaned up some spots on the carpet. I think I got them all.

It was a little above and beyond, but please don’t feel bad. I tried to stifle my hysterical laughter, since Sonny seemed embarrassed enough already, and the sheer hilarity of the scenario overrode the cleaning up part of the deal.

Well, I’ll see you at work tomorrow!

Zube Girl

16 Leg Humps:

Anonymous said...

This is hilarious, I could actually picture you performing this delicate task !

Storm said...

god that's great. and really nice of you. Every time I get someone to watch the cats, they won't clean the box, much less pull a hair out of one of their bums.

On a side note, I don't think I would have been able to control my laughter. I'm giggling just thinking about it.

Anonymous said...

Only YOU zubegirl..only YOU

Zube said...

OldGuy- It was a harrowing procedure, but we both escaped relatively unscathed.

Storm- It was quite comical.

SK- Who, moĆ­?

zazzafooky said...

I'm so jealous that you got to say "pulled a hair out of his ass" and actually mean it!

Very funny!

Kjersten said...

I still have yet to read, but I just had to say first that your new web design is KICK ASS!!!!

Rick said...


Zube said...

TJ- I never would have thought I'd have the opportunity to write such a sentence and mean it!

Kjersten- This is where the I Love Daria Fest comes in!

Rick- I second that notion!

Ruben said...

I am battling you now and at the same time I am reading your blog. To be honest, I would vote for you! This is a great site! Come by and visit sometime. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

Ooooo! I'm likin' the new sexy design!

I think it would have been funnier if you would have pulled a HARE out of the cats ass! lol.

Chickie said...

I have so had to do this with my dog. There is nothing more humiliating than yanking a turd stuck on a hair outta the dog's ass with a leaf at 7 a.m. with the neighbors watching.

If your animal gets a hold of corn on the cob, corn silk produces the same result.

Anonymous said...

OMG! I am in tears! I've got 2 cats and most I've had to pull out their ass is tinsel from the Christmas tree they ate! I'm lovin it!!!!!

Al said...

you're a good friend to do that for someone elses cat. Of course, this is coming from a guy who wouldn't mind pulling a cat out of my dogs ass :o)

kyknoord said...

Of course, one has to wonder how the hair managed to get into the cat's digestive tract in the first place. I have visions of the cat 'grooming' you while you slept. I like the new design, by the way.

Zube said...

Ruben- Thanks for the compliment!

Cassiopeia- If I'd pulled a hare out of his ass, that would make me not only a good friend, but a magician to boot!

Chickie- Same thing happened to Zack, only he had eaten grass!

Txsm- Okay, so I would be tempted to leave the tinsel there so their hineys would sparkle. The cats themselves would be Christmas decorations!

Al- Ha! At my house, it would be more likely that we'd pull a dog out of a cat's ass!

Kyknoord- You know, that's not such a bad idea. I might end up looking groomed once in a while, cause lord knows I don't do that myself! And thanks! I'm in love with the new design.

junebee said...

You haven't lived until the cat eats the tinsel (icicles) on the X-mas tree and has it coming out of his butt. This actually does happen. One year my mom got me a hilarious Christmas card with such a cartoon on it.


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