I believe something is wrong with my car. I can't seem to get the hood to close because there is a strange object in the way making random squawking noises that sometimes sound like, "WHERE'S MY DINNER, WOMAN?"
My couch has a similar malady. This one, though, doesn't squawk as much, but it does like to steal the remote and watch crazy ass shit about cranes, planes, and automobiles on the tube. And that crap just bores me silly.
I think my house is infested. Anyone got any remedies for such a problem?
Friday, August 05, 2005
It's Sort of Making a Funny Noise
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14 Leg Humps:
Not a permanent remedy, but having it "suck a Zube" usually puts it into such a good mood, that its problem behaviors temporarily disappear. :)
Phil
http://nomadechoes.blogdrive.com
Phil- Heh. That's awesome. I can see the new slogan for Zubes. "They're not just for curing colds! ;-)
hee
Steve thinks you should try not paying the cable bill. I think it sounds like you should ty a smudge stick, 'cause those unknown objects can be kinda irksome. Especially when they shout "where's my dinner, woman?!"
How about an 21 year old shirtless cabana boy? Then you wouldn't care what's on TV or under the hood of the car...
As for the "What's for dinner, woman?", try my favorite answer: "If it was up your ass, you'd know."
That usually works at my house, along with the bad kitty bottle.
These creatures who lurk in cares and on couches MUST be disciplined.
I'm not even going to ask what your husband is doing where an engine should be....
Try a ball gag, and a second "hiden" remote. It will drive him nuts trying to figure out why the channels keep changing. Better yet. Still get the secret remote, and "lose" the other one. Men don't like to get up and change the channel. Yours can't.
Storm- Ooh, those strange objects. I do feel the need to point out that Zube Boy would *never* say, "What's for dinner, woman," and truly mean it. He's a bit off his rocker, for sure, but he's not suicidal or anything.
Bonanza Jellybean- Uh huh with the disciplining! Perhaps I'll find the creature in the kitchen more often if I discipline it enough. You never know!
Casseopeia- Heh, I was going to say he is replacing the engine, and from the looks of the picture, he's doing so quite literallys!
Aww, come on, you don't REALLY want to get rid of that "infestation" - do you?
And if you think HE'S demanding about dinner, wait until you have a baby! My Branch is ALWAYS complaining about the slow service. I keep telling him, you don't leave a tip, what do you expect?
Rose- Actually, he would never say that and *mean* it as I mentioned above. Dude does not have a death withs! Heh. :-) Thanks for commenting!
Junebee- I wouldn't trade this infestation for the world! It's kind of like the cat infestation Zube Boy is always saying we've got.
I wouldn't have it any other way. Now all the freakin' spiders? I could do without those. For real.
No remedy...I think you're stuck with it!
Anyway, that looks suspiciously like the vehicle that the cat tried to drive off in a couple of weeks ago. No wonder he couldn't get it started. He should have checked under the hood, like any other self-respecting cat would have done.
Just Wandering- You are so right. There is no remedy.
Junebee- Seriously, you are cracking my shit up these days. :-) Self-respecting cats. They all think they are, but the proof is in the pudding, eh?
Deb- "talking about you (or his) mother."
A truer thing has never been spoken. Heh.
I don't know, I think you might be able to force that hood closed. Either that or Patrick's all-purpose fix for everything...
"Beat it to fit, paint it to match." I imagine that foreign object under your hood might be familiar with that philosophy...
PaintingChef- Oh, I do believe the foreign object has similar beliefs. Yessiree!
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