Saturday, September 10, 2005

Random Shit

-There are twenty legs in our house. That’s a lot of freakin’ legs. This leg infestation invariably leads to lots of tripping.

-Having pets and hardwood floors is the GREATEST fucking pastime EVER. Nothing is funnier than seeing the critters running at full speed in the hopes of catching another one of the critters, and going nowhere. Even better is when they eventually gain momentum only to slip and slide across the floor on their ass. And careen face first into a wall. Ha. Love it. Hardwood floors. Best fucking investment in my lifetime.

-We went to see The Exorcism of Emily Rose last night. It was pretty good. Not as scary as I thought, which is a good thing because usually I only watch scary movies at home and not in the theatre. I have a scary movie afghan at home. My Aunt made it for me, and it’s PERFECT because I can cover my head with it and peek through the holes when the scary parts come on. Unfortunately, I feel it is far too cumbersome to bring to the theatre with me. I need a mini afghan for movie going. One that would fit right over my face. Yeah. Everybody knows that movies are less scary when you watch them through the holes of a blanket. Or maybe that’s just me.

-I get all warm and fuzzy when I’m driving behind people on motorcycles and they do that special little downward wave to people on motorcycles in the opposite lane. It makes me squee. And wish I had a motorcycle. But, not really. Because motorcycles scare me. My cousin was an EMT and she said they called them ‘Donorcycles’. That was enough for me to never want to be on one.

-I don’t think I used the word ‘fuck’ once yesterday. I’m fucking losing my edge.

16 Leg Humps:

mothergoosemouse said...

Totally agree re the hardwood floors - great source of entertainment (for the humans anyway).

Re the swearing - what the fuck is your problem anyway? ;-)

zazzafooky said...

Chicky- you always make me laugh. I have a movie afghan too that I made when I was pregnant and for as much as I love scary movies, I can't watch them without the damn blanket.

Picturing a totable holy blanket for the theatre cracked me up!

Chickie said...

Amen to the hardwood floors! The only thing that's making me insane is the sounds of 40 toenails clattering on them.

I bet you could figure out a way to tote the afghan to the movies. You could also sneak snacks in, rolled inside of it.

Phil said...

Hardwood floors + animals is definitely a funny combo. Unless, of course, your hardwood floor is in front of a sliding glass door, and the animal is 65 lbs of uncoordinated fur travelling at full speed. Fortunately, he's never hit the glass. But I've had to replace 4 screens. lol

And you have got to be fucking joking about the fucking swearing. Were you at a fucking convent the whole fucking day or something?


Doggie Extraordinaire's Mom said...

Laminate floors and some tile floors work just as well. Plus I discovered the size of your pet increases their inertia and my dog can slide clear across a room with little effort.

As for the lack of fuck, so sorry. My rule is, if I'm not saying it as much, it better because I'm doing it more!

Leslie said...

It's not every day you hear someone say "squee". I'm going to start saying it. Start a Squee Revolution.

Christina said...

If your pets had huge ass toenails like mine, you'd be putting SOCKS on them to stop the Click! Click! Clicking! of the toenails on the wood floors.
oh, and your movie afghan *snort*

Bonanza Jellybean said...

LOVE the hardwood floors. If you're angry at them, put scotch tape on their paws and turn them loose on them. This works best for cats.

Sorry I've been MIA for DAYS. I loved your drawings the other day.

OldGuy said...

Yeah, afghans at scary movies.

Could be the start of a new trend.

junebee said...

My mom likes to knit, maybe I can get her to knit portable afghans for movies.

Kari said...

Portable Movie Afghans. That is a beautiful untapped market. I love it.

Just the concept of a designated scary movie afghan makes me laugh. It is funny, because it is true.

Zube Girl said...

Mother Goosemouse- I'm so fucking lame! :-)

TJ- I think the movie 'Scaredy Blanket' is an untapped marketing resource. :-)

Chickie- Ooh yeah. The clacking is annoying.

Phil- Fucking for real. It's fucking crazy, isn't it??? :-)

Librarian- Hmmm. I'm not telling... :P

Leslie- It'd be a Squeevolution!

Christina- I've got enough auditory stimulation what with all of the voices in my head, much less clicking. Gah!

Bonanza- Oooh, the scotch tape is fucking hilarious!!!

Old Guy- I'm telling you...

Junebee- Hee. I'm imagining you explaining that one to your Mom. "So, there's this, um, girl...She talks about her life and a bunch of other crap...Oh yeah, and she wants a miniature afghan so she can watch scary movies at the theatre." That'd be awesome!

Kari- It is so, so true! Thanks for stopping by. :-)

DelBoy said...

Hardwood floors are even more fun than glass sliding doors. Our dog runs into ours ALL the time, but it's funniers when she's trying to accelerate and getting no where!(I actually feel sorry for her when she hits the glass door!)

Phil said...

Last night, my dog took the "animals on hardwood floors" to the next level. He left his frisbee on the wood floor, and landed one foot on it while trotting along. You wouldn't believe how incredibly entertaining it was to watch his other 3 legs try to keep up. lol


Zube Girl said...

Delboy- See, I cannot laugh at that because I've done the same thing. Though, I at least have an excuse. Ahem. Anyone have an adult beverage for me? Anyone???

Phil- I pledge now to go to the store and bring home a bunch of frisbees because I have GOT to see THAT for myself. My luck, it'll be me doing splits in the living room. And I was a cheerleader a LONG ASS TIME AGO. I'd surely hurt myself.

Rick said...

twenty-eight legs here. gotcha beat, but maybe not in a good way. :)


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