Monday, October 17, 2005

What Goes Around, Comes Around. Heh.

Dear Ass,

Stop eating my underwear.

Love,
Zube Girl

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Dear Zube Girl,

Stop wearing thongs.

Love,
Ass

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Dear Thongs,

Stop crawling up my ass.

Love,
Zube Girl

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Dear Zube Girl,

Ease up on the Cheetos, babe.

Love,
Thongs

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Dear Ass and Thongs,

Fuck you both.

Love,
Zube Girl

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Dear Cheetos,

I love you.

Love,
Zube Girl

*************************************************

Dear Zube Girl,

I still love you!

Love,
Gramma Panties

22 Leg Humps:

Bonanza Jellybean said...

Dear Zube Girl,

I think I can meet your needs of sexy and comfortable at the same time. Why don't you ditch those losers and give me a call?

Love,
Boy Briefs

Bonanza Jellybean said...

Ok, that was strange even for me.

Zube Girl said...

Bonanza- See, no. That was funny. I was half-expecting:

Dear Zube Girl,

You done lost your shit now. Oh yeah. And you need Jesus, too.

Love,
Anonymous

Tessa said...

Totally hilarious!

I can sympathize...

Cheetos & rootbeer floats, gotta have em'.

Also - Bonanza is exactly right. I'd advise you try boy briefs.

Amy said...

oh no... seriously... wear the thongs out now because when you have kids, forget it. The thong thing reminds me of my sister though... goes like this:

Me: Megan, you are THIN... you should get some thongs!

Megan: Yeah, uh, I don't think so.

Me: WHY NOT?!?!?

Megan: Because you aren't supposed to FLOSS there!

Storm said...

hell, when I worked in the lingerie department at a certain department store, we sold maternity thongs. Could you imagine carrying extra weight *and* wearing a thong? me neither.

mothergoosemouse said...

Cheetos are revolting, but ice cream has been the bane of both my existence and that of my thongs. Sigh.

You crack me up. When are we gonna have that beer???

Zube Girl said...

Tessa- Mmmm...Root beer floats. Yummy! I'm definitely going to have to try the boy briefs.

Amy- I once had a friend who had to go to the dentist because she got floss stuck in her tooth. I'm thinking maybe I shouldn't wear thongs anymore. :-)

Storm- Okay, see that's a little over the top, I think. I mean, at least in the final months. Maturnity thongs???

Mother Goosemouse- VERY SOON we should have a beer! Before the ski season gets in high gear and I'm too busy to breathe much less have fun!

Dutch Oven said...

Go commando and then you won't all these heated discussions with your ass and undergarments.

PS - I've never seen someone talk to their ass as much as I do (although mine is for different reasons - I stopped talking to my thongs many years ago when Fruit o da Loom started adding the little lacy shit around the edges - chafing like you would never imagine).

Bonanza Jellybean said...

I thought you talked out of your ass, not to it, Dutch Oven.

Dutch Oven said...

Don't you know by now Jellybelly, I don't talk out of my ass, I orchestrate.

My specialty is the trumpet, but I have been known to pick up a bassoon or any of the wind instruments.

Bonanza Jellybean said...

Sorry for taking up so much space Zube. The Toxic Tuba and I can argue ANYWHERE. :)

Dutch Oven said...

I'm going to bed . . .

txsm said...

Again, I'm drinking while reading you guys...I've got to quit this, my sinus's can't take much more!!

Phil said...

Oh, you should never, ever tell your ass and thong to "fuck off". They can make life incredibly embarrassing for you anytime they want, so you really should stay on their good side.

Phil
http://nomadechoes.blogdrive.com

Chickie said...

Too fucking funny.

Amy said...

Zube - did you EVER think that so many people would be interested in your obviously mentionable unmentionables? LOL

Zube Girl said...

Dutch Oven- Aha, but see do you ever get LETTERS from your ass?!?! I should think not. So, not only does mine talk, it has it's own desk and fancy pen set with assorted pretty papers. Hee!

Bonanza- You guys are ALWAYS welcome to argue here. It is a never-ending source of amusement for me. :-)

TXSM- Oh, don't worry, I enjoy drinking and blogging, so why not drink while reading blogs! You might be inclined to actually find me funny, then!

Phil- Yeah, the last thing I need is some sort of revolt going on down there. Heh.

Chickie- Yep. After laughing here, I'm going to head over to your place and stuff potatoes in the garbage disposal. Today is going to be a great day.

Amy- It's rendered me speechless! Well, not really, but it probably should!

PaintingChef said...

Dear Zube Girl-

You are one cool bitch. Let's make out.

Love,
The Internet.

Erika said...

Did all of the letter writing work? I have to try that! My ass hates me! Maybe I am just not communicating effectively with it. Who knew an ass could hold a pen. Oh wait. Ewwwww. never mind!

robin said...

Great post! I've had conversations like that with my hips and Dunkin Donut bagels.

Alessandra said...

if my panties could talk she'll probably say "sorry dude, you're not on the list..i only allow passage to guys i meet at webdate dot com"

 

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