Chappage and a Book Recommendation

It really chaps my ass how kitchen sinks all slope toward the drain so that when you set your glass in there because you don’t feel like emptying the clean dishes out of the dishwasher right fucking now it invariably slides down the sink and falls into the drain hole. I hate that shit. And then you just leave it there because there’s no point in fighting the slope, and when the dishes sort of start to pile up you run water and it won’t drain and shit because it's being blocked by the glass. I mean, I understand why the sink’s got to kind of slope, but couldn’t it just be a teeny tiny degree of slopage so that my lazy ass doesn’t have to empty the dishwasher when it doesn’t feel like it? Heh. I wish my ass could empty the dishwasher. That’d be fun, and I might be inclined to do it more readily. If only it weren't so, well, sore right now. Which leads me to...

You know what else chaps my ass? Winter weather. And I don’t mean that metaphorically. I mean, I really get a chapped ass quite often in the wintertime. If I weren’t so lazy I’d invent some ‘Big Ass Chapstick’ to remedy the problem. Or maybe I could create some kind of stool made out of chapstick that you sit on naked, eating grapes and reading The Time Traveler’s Wife. That’s a great fucking book by the way. I highly recommend it.

But, instead I’ll just shift in my work chair and whine about my butt hurting, because pissing and moaning is one of my most favorite hobbies.