Wednesday, November 16, 2005

When Harry Met Hoot...Because Harry Is Totally a Spider Name...

Hey y'all. A while back upon my return from Jersey I'd told you that I was going to have my sister Hoot write a guest entry about an encounter with a critter of the eight legged variety. Or is it ten legs? I'm not sure. But I guess when you've got one on your head, you don't particularly care how many fucking legs it's got. Anyway, here 'tis:

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Hi everybody, this is Zube Girl's sister Hoot; don't ask where the name came from*. Anyway I am doing a guest entry for her about a wonderful experience of mine. Here it goes…let me just set the scene. I am in my last semester at college sitting in an investments class with a really nice professor, who is unbelievably boring. Since it’s my last semester, I just don't feel like doing anything any longer so I'm in class zoning out thinking about why the hell I decided not to skip class today when I felt a fly land on my forehead. Well what I thought was a fly.

So nonchalantly I swiped it off and to my surprise it was a huge spider, about the size of a silver dollar, and it landed right on my lap. Now to some of you this may not be a big deal just swipe it off and go on daydreaming. But for me the arachnophobia kicked in and I freaked out. I pushed it off my lap and to the floor where I could not see it any longer. So of course it felt like bugs were all over my entire body. With arms flailing everywhere I jumped out of my seat and ran to the bathroom.

After being pretty sure that spiders were not crawling all over my body I psyched myself up to go back into class. I sat on the edge of my seat looking everywhere because I was sure that the spider was out to get me and wanted to torture me for the rest of the class. I decided that my initial thoughts of not going to class had been correct, so I left.

After leaving and calling Zube Girl crying about how a spider landed on my head I realized I had left my umbrella in class and could not possibly go back in during the middle of class and get it and walk out again. When class was over I decided to go back and explain my encounter with the torturous spider to my professor, so he didn't think I was a total psycho. Upon telling him about the encounter he proceeded to laugh at me and ask me if I was ok. I told him that the color would arrive back in my face soon and the shaking would eventually stop. Does he leave it alone that I am a wacko that is deathly afraid of spiders? No. Next class he proceeds to tell everyone I had to change seats because I couldn't sit in the spider seat anymore. It just freaked me out to sit there again. He warned everyone that if I stand up screaming that it is just a spider and not to mind me.

Yes it is embarrassing. Now before sitting down in class I look up at the ceiling and the wall next to me to see if there are any creepy crawlers around.

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*I'll let you in on a little secret. Hoot is blessed with an asset I am not. Bitch. She lived with Zube Boy and our roommate and I one summer. One evening, Hoot was wearing a shirt that was pretty, well, hot, and the roommate dubbed her Hooterific. It stuck. Oh yeah, she's also kind of a hoot to be around so I picked it as her Zube Girl blog pseudonym.

Edited to Add: A HUGE thank you to Phil for putting a spider on Hoot's picture because that just makes this post SO much funnier.

16 Leg Humps:

lysie6211 said...

Eww...I hate spiders. You would think they wouldn't bother me considering FL has cockroaches the size of chiuaua's (can't spelly that) that FLY.

PaintingChef said...

That would have been grounds for leaving school! Y'know like how they say if your roommate dies you get a 4.0? I'd say a molestation by spider is good for at LEAST a 3.5.

hoot said...

lysie6211- I agree I still think spiders are worse then cockroaches.

paintingchef- Thats a good idea I should talk to the dean. lol

txsm said...

I can't stand the 8 legged things either!!! I hate it when I wake up in the middle of the night and you can FEEL the damn thing crawling up your arm or leg...yeah, Gomer hates it when I jump out of bed..'eewwing' and freakin out!

txsm said...

And that's not just with spider either....LOL!!!!!!

Phil said...

Wow. At least all of my spider-freak-out-encounters have been (relatively) private matters. Can't imagine having one in public. Double psychological trauma. But I still think having a spider spend the night in my ear trumps this one.

Phil
http://nomadechoes.blogdrive.com

Bonanza Jellybean said...

Now I'm going to spend the rest of the day keeping an eye on the one outside of my office who has been industriously busy on his web all morning... as long as he keeps to himself, no one gets hurt.

Amy said...

That's awful!! I feel your pain Hoot. We were camping a few years ago and were making dinner (out in the open) at night. To this day I have NO idea what it was that landed on my head but it was as big as the palm of my hand and felt like it had a million legs. I freaked and ran screaming into the darkness like an idiot. The worse part is that no one else saw this monster and so I just looked like a freak, screaming in the woods.

Zube Girl said...

Hoot's gonna answer the comments this time. Dude, if you guys could have heard her when she called me it was SOOOOOOO funny! She was crying and freaking out about going back into the classroom to get her umbrella and how everyone was going to think she was nuts for running out not once, but twice. Hee. It was hilarious.

Doggie Extraordinaire's Mom said...

I freak out about earwigs probably the same way you freak out about spiders. Let me say, if an earwig fell on my head, then my lap and then disappeared on the floor beneath me, I'd scream and run and flail, trying to brush against people and things just in case it helped get unseen bugs off me, all the way home. Then I'd demand a team of friends to inspect me and swear on their lives that there were no earwigs on my body. Then I'd shower for about three days. Then I'd have to transfer schools. So, you were brave, Hoot!

junebee said...

Well, just think, without that spider you would have had absolutely no excitement during that class.

kyknoord said...

I think your prof noticed you zoning out and activated one of the concealed trapdoors to the spider farm in the ceiling. They do that, you know.

hoot said...

txsm- I'm glad you understand did you know you swallow 3 spiders in your sleep in the span of a year

phil- yeah that might suck too but it wasn't in front of an entire class

bonanzajellybean- I hope it stayed outside all day

amy- I hate it when no one else sees it then makes you think that your the freak

librarian extraordinaire- I would have had the friends do that but no one was around

junebee- that's actually what my prof said too, that I should have said something and it would have made the class more exciting

kyknoord- Well then I'm really surprised that my professor in the class I always fall asleep in hasn't done that to me yet, that would be bad to wake up to a spider on my head

mothergoosemouse said...

Hoot, you are just so cute.

I'd freak out too. Bugs are scary.

Nancy said...

Hoot, I thought you were going to say when you went back to get your umbrella the spider was inside! (glad it wasn't!) I'm also impressed that you didn't scream out loud in the class.

hoot said...

mother goosemouse- I agree bugs are scary

nancy- that would have been the end of me I would have died of cardiac arrest or something it probably would have jumped at my face cause I swear it was out to get me

 

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