Thursday, December 01, 2005

I Kind of Wish I Could...

-Make it warmer in Antarctica because March of Penguins made me ball my eyes out. Bless those penguin Dads and Moms. They are so brave. And they don't even think twice about it.

-Feel pretty even without having my eyebrows waxed.

-Stop worrying about feeling pretty.

-Clean up dog puke before the cats get to chowing down on it.

-Not throw up while cleaning up dog puke.

-Take on other people's pain. Because I fucking hate when there's hurting going on outside of myself and there's nothing I can do about it. I can still make jokes when I'm hurting, and some people can't so I want to take it away from them and make it funny.

-Publish a book.

-Have my old car back.

-Eat all the black olives in the world without getting sick.

-Have the years when I was 20 to 25 back because sometimes I feel like they were wasted on being sad.

-Pee my name in the snow.

13 Leg Humps:

Anonymous said...

yea, I just know how you feel!! Specially about taking on other people's pain. I am so with you on that one. As far as worrying about being pretty - well we cant help that, we're women after all. it comes naturally.

PaintingChef said...

I'll help you out by sending you every black olive I come across because I think they're kinda yucky.

You think I'm kidding, don't you? But you are wondering now if I'm not. And you are knowing that I have your address and you are going to wonder if you are going to open up your mailbox and be deluged by black olives...aren't you?

Always keep them guessing...

Anonymous said...

You can pee in the snow if you drink a lot of beer, run really fast, and only do your initials. :)

Anonymous said...

I've ALWAYS wanted to pee my name in the snow!

Unknown said...

You sound pretty soft hearted, in a tough kind of way.

Minerva said...

I have the same with the puke but in my case it is dog eating cat's...
But then again, given the amount of puke in my house at the moment, it is anyone's guess.. Actually, I am feeling unwell now...

Thanks...

Minerva

Phil said...

HAHA! I can pee my name in the snow and yooooouuuuuuuu caaaaaaaaaaaannnn't!!! Neener neener neener. Of course, it's a talent that is completely wasted & useless on the Cali coast . . . :(

Phil
http://nomadechoes.blogdrive.com

Anonymous said...

Things I learned on CSI. If you grin while you clean up dog puke it will supress the gag reflex. So grin like mad while you clean it up. It worked for me.

Zube said...

Banquo- Yep, we are kind of stuck with the wanting to feel pretty thing, eh?

Mergirl- Okay, they HAD to set up various cameras! I don't think humans could stand -85 degree weather. At least I don't think so. Though it was a great movie.

PaintingChef- I would HAPPILY take all of the black olives you won't eat. We should go out to eat sometime. We'd be, like, the perfect couple.

Bonanza- Zube Boy read your comment, and we were discussing how I might be able to make a 'Z'. I even demonstrated, which I think kind of grossed him out.

Anonymous- Someday. :-)

Barbara- I'm really kind of a softy. :-)

Minerva- Ah! Sorry! Didn't mean to cause any pukey feelings!

Phil- So, because we're friends, will you, if you ever happen upon snow, pee my name in it? If you really cared about our friendship, you would!

Dragonperl- That is AWESOME advice. I'm so going to have to try that next time.

Doggie Extraordinaire's Mom said...

I would love to see your list that counters this one, of things you're so glad you can do. :) I bet it's longer.

Phil said...

Well I dunno, Zube. I mean, if we were such good friends and all, I think you would have hooked me up with Hoot by now. ;) But I guess I could still pee your name in the snow if I get the opportunity, as a gesture of good faith.

KjerstenGreg said...

Let the eyebrows grow crazy out of control, and refuse to pluck them until you like the way you look... that's what I did :) Now, I only pluck three hairs a week and I am OKAY with it.

Chickie said...

I'd be happy to be able to pee standing up without getting it everywhere. I've been practicing in the shower.

 

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