Saturday, December 17, 2005

I Swear to God...

Episcopalians are the fucking bomb. I shit you not.

The Scene: I've just finished checking a church group into the hotel. They're about to head off and my coworker makes a wisecrack about my perfection and wonderfullness.

Z-Girl: You guys are all set. I'll deal with the smart-alec over here.

Group Leader: Oh yeah, well I've got to deal with a bunch of smart ASSES.

Z-Girl: Tee hee. You guys cuss?!

Group Leader: Oh yeah. Shit, damn, fuck. I'm Episcopalian. Jesus loves me God dammit. Where's the nearest liquor store?

Z-Girl: I think I love you. You're lucky I'm married, or I'd hump your leg.

13 Leg Humps:

Chickie said...

This may be a religion that would fit my lifestyle.

Spider Walk said...

That's it..I am changing church's.

Oh wait...I don't go to church damit!

Gotta love em don't ya?

Storm said...

heh. I'm trying not to get a wonderfully obscene visualization. It's not working.

txsm said...

They rock don't they! My brother's wife is one....and I love her to death!!!!! She tries to act all sophisticated around my folks, but man does she have a potty mouth...we get along great, my bro hates it when we get together cause it's all, fuck, shit, damn, mother fucker...
fuck..fuck..fuck...LOL!

Doggie Extraordinaire's Mom said...

I once took a what-religion-are-you type quiz, posted on a website through a university. Episcopalian ranked high, right up there with Unitarian for my results. But for reasons I cannot quite grasp, I ranked highest as a Satanist. Now, I don't even believe in Satan or God, but that's not important to be a Satanist. Who knew? I laughed, said, "You're all wrong! I'm a LIBRARIAN, and I believe in Libraries and I worship the great Goddess of the Lib! She is all knowing and highly flammable!" Then I discovered the Flying Spaghetti Monster and was saved from a life of eternal servitude to my job.

Lisa said...

Holy shit this sounds like a religion I could fit in with... I've never heard of Episcopalians but they sound like a hoot. Where do I sign up?

Helen said...

Get out!!! I don't think I know any Episcopalians. Great story.
Peace..........

Minerva said...

I LOVED this....
It made me laugh so much..
Thank you Zube...

Minerva

mothergoosemouse said...

Episcopalian is about as close as you can get to being Catholic while still remaining Protestant. At least that is how it has been explained to me.

Zube Girl said...

Chickie- Me, too!

Spiderwalk- That's what I said.

Storm- Yeah, it is a pretty funny visual. Hee.

TXSM- I'd party with those church folks!

Librarian- Can I worship the library with you?! That would be FUN!

Lisa- Hear, hear!

Helen- Peace to you, too. :-)

Minerva- It certainly elevated MY mood! I had to share.

Mother Goosemouse- They told me they're close to Catholic, but a lot more liberal.

Amy said...

Wow... who knew? My friends (and family) are either Baptist or whatever the version of that religion where you have to wear the long skirts and long hair but without having to do that part because they broke off from it or whatever... and while they are very nice people, they are not nearly as cool as Episcopalians, apparently. Or at least that's my opinion now.

Bonanza Jellybean said...

How cool. I love religions that use wine, and the cursing just makes it even better!

junebee said...

Geez, it's almost like a religion you would start. Zube-copalian? Has a nice ring to it...

 

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