Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Right Across the Street Means Right Across the Street You Fucking Moron!

Or, to put it nicely...

Guest: Where is the chairlift?

Z-Girl: Right across the street.

Guest: Across the street?

Z-Girl: Yup. Right across the street.

Guest: Where exactly is the street?

Z-Girl: If you step out those two doors right there, you'll see a street and the chairlift will be right across it.

Guest: So the street is right out there?

Z-Girl: Yup.

Guest: Will we be able to see it?

Z-Girl: Yes, as soon as you step out the front doors.

Guest: What if we can't find it?

Z-Girl: You will. It's right outside those doors.

Guest: *looking skeptical (or stupid, depending on who you ask)*

Z-Girl: Here, I'll show you.

Guest: Okay.

I walk them out the front doors and point across the street. To the place where there is, lo and behold, a fucking chairlift.

Guest: Oh wow. It is right there.

Z-Girl: Just like I said. RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET.

Guest: Thanks!

Z-Girl: You're welcome.

18 Leg Humps:

Phil said...

Based on the apparent intelligence level of said guest, are you sure you really want to tell them to cross the street? You might get stuck cleaning up the {splat} stains off the road. ;)

Echoes in a Nomad's Head

Minerva said...

You might have to draw a map for the sad ****wit to get back again... *grin*

Sorry about the last comment - there was a typo and I am ANAL about my spelling...

Hope you had a good Christmas...


Rori said...

Well, they look so much like trees, them chairlifts.

*waves from Colorado Springs*

Found you from tamponblog.

*glues self to seat*

lysie6211 said...

oh...my...I would of lost it at'Where exactly is the street?' What a complete fucktard!!!

Happy Villain said...

Sorry, more escapees from Happyville. I was sure I had them all tucked safely in their pens. Deep apologies. We usually send out warnings when a Happyville resident ventures out of the quarrantine area, but we missed these. Won't happen again. Be sure to fully illustrate how the toilet flushes. They're easily confused.

Bonanza Jellybean said...

I hope they tipped you. DAMN.

justdawn said...

It always amazes me that *some* people actually make it to adulthood!

Nicky said...

And they were going to ski??? Right!

nelle said...

lol, i lived in breckenridge about 5 years ago and can see that the tourists haven't changed a bit!!

RockyJay said...

All that white around you, it must be hard to spot a street; Or maybe the defination of 'street' is a little different up there; Or maybe they just were my insanely stupid guests...

P.S. I still intend to come over there with my entourage. So far, I've heard only good things about Breckenridge from my church buddies...

Anduin said...

The saddest thing about this is that there was more than just one moron. If it was one stupid person you could almost excuse it but a group of them? You just hope and pray that they are not reproducing and adding more stupid to the gene pool.

Zube Girl, you have the patience of a saint.

PaintingChef said...

Phil...I think they call that natural selection...

AMAZING! The stupid people are everywhere. You should hand them their giant hats with flashing lights. I would think those would be a useful tool on the slopes.

Amy said...

Holy crap. I'd like to laugh... but I feel really sorry for you now.

junebee said...

You need the T-shirt my stepbrother had. It has a large pointing finger and the caption: "You! Out of the gene pool!"

Zube Girl said...

Phil- I probably should've held their hands and walked them across the street one at a time.

Minerva- I'm anal about my comments, too! No worries. I hope you had a great Christmas, too!

Rorie- Hey, thanks for stopping by!

Lysie- Heh. Yup. :-)

Happy Villian- Can I deliver them back to you?

Bonanza- I've only ever been tipped twice in my three and a half years here, believe it or not.

Justdawn- Me, too!

Nicky- I would've paid money to see them skiing!

Ellen Jay- It's only a few. Thank goodness!

Rocky Jay- If you're sending people up here to drive me nuts, I'm going to tell you all of the shittiest runs to take when you come out! Heh.

Anduin- I know. Maybe one person was stupid, and the others caught it.

Painting Chef- I wish you would patent those hats already! I could've used some!

Amy- Eh, feel free to laugh. I did.

Junebee- I would LOVE to have one of those t-shirts.

Crazy Lady said...

*sigh* what would life be without the stupid people? We would all have a lot fewer laugh lines, that is for damn sure. And, would probably take a lot less asprin!

Chickie said...

These kind of people need to be hit with big sticks.

mothergoosemouse said...

Having walked MILES to reach a chairlift back east, I really can understand how incredulous she might have been at the prospect that the chairlift REALLY WAS ACROSS THE STREET.

But that doesn't excuse her for acting like such an idiot. Ask the question once, trust the answer you get, and then if you find out that answer was wrong, go back and beat the shit out of the person who lied to you.


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