Monday, July 10, 2006


Zube Boy has this week off in order to tie up loose ends at the new house. The renters move in on Saturday and I know for a fact that he's trying to finish up the installation of the new bathtub. So I decide to call and annoy him.


Z-Boy: Hello.

Z-Girl: Hi, honey.

Z-Boy: Oh, hi.

Z-Girl: Are you at the new house?

Z-Boy: Yup.

Z-Girl: Are you playing in the bathtub?

Z-Boy: Yup. I'm blowing bubbles.

Z-Girl: With your mouth or your butt?

Z-Boy: Both. I'm having a little competition.

Z-Girl: Heh. Heheheheheheh.

After a few snorts and slobbering a little bit, I hung up. Seriously? Where does he come up with this shit? I have no idea.

PS- Dude. I can't. Believe. I. Spelled. Turd. WRONG! Thank you to junebee and Rich for pointing that out. Of all people, one would think I would know the proper spelling of 'TURD' what with my pottymouth and all. Sheesh. I'm ashamed.



Z-Boy: Hello.

Z-Girl: Hi, honey. Where are you?

Z-Boy: Walmart.

Z-Girl: Oh. So, I have a question for you.

Z-Boy: What?

Z-Girl: I was wondering who the winner of your little competition was.

Z-Boy: What?

Z-Girl: Your butt or your mouth, DUH! Your little Bubble Blowing Competition?

Z-Boy: Oh, yeah. There is no winner yet.

Z-Girl: What do you mean? You're at Walmart. I figured it was over.

Z-Boy: No, it's ongoing.

Z-Girl: What, like a marathon or the Tour de France or whatever?

Z-Boy: Yeah.

Z-Girl: So you get to take breaks and stuff?

Z-Boy: Jesus Christ, of course honey! You have to take breaks. Otherwise I'd, I don't know, start bleeding or something.

Z-Girl: Oh, okay. Keep me posted.

Z-Boy: Will do.

Z-Girl: Bye.

Z-Boy: Bye.

8 Leg Humps:

adjunky said...

I imagine your dinner conversation sounds a lot like ours.

(It's no wonder my in-laws stopped coming over.... )

Did he ever tell you who/which end won? Normally we find that the butt has volume, mouth has control. :-)

Lisa said...

I think its easy for him to come up with that when he's got a great straight man like you feeding him the lines! :-)

junebee said...

Yeah, so, I spelled "guys" wrong. You'd think I'd be able to type by now...

I am not so sure I would want to rent a house where the owner had a farting contest with himself in the bathtub...

Zube Girl said...

HAHAHAHA! Junebee, you just made me pee myself a little. Let's not tell the renters, whaddya say? Hee.

kyknoord said...

Has he tried going the whole hog by swallowing his gum?

Gary said...

Keep US posted. :)

Bonanza Jellybean said...

At least he's balanced. Mine's mouth could NEVER keep up with his butt.

Kylei said...

I just wanted to let you know that I nominated you over at
They wanted some one who inspires you and what can I say two day long mouth butt matches really do it for me ;)


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