Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Adventures in Outer, Er, Uh, Rather, Inner Space

In other words, I have an appointment with a psychologist in two weeks. Because bursting into tears at work a few times a day is not something I care to put on my resume. It's probably not normal, even. Once in a while, every one woman army needs to call in for a little back-up.

I talked to my potential counseler over the phone and she sounds wondermous. She's a doula who has worked with Planned Parenthood at abortion clinics as a counseler and specializes in grief over loss of a pregnancy. She has dealt with women in every aspect of childbearing. We were meant for each other. I have a renewed faith in eeny-meeny-miny-mo-ing your way to a counseler in the phone book. Or fate. Who knows? I think it might even be a little of both.

I am so utterly relieved to have admitted to myself that I'm in a little over my head with the sorrow and stuff, I can't even tell you. And I have to thank PaintingChef for Google-talking my ass into what it really needed to do. Friends rule. Sometimes I need to be told by someone else to take care of myself. That's always been a problem for me.

The thing is, you guys, I REALLY, REALLY hope this counseler chick helps me find my voice. Because I am SO hating having lost it. Truly I am.

In the meantime, smooches to you all! I'll keep you updated and maybe someday soon this blog of mine will get interesting.

20 Leg Humps:

RisibleGirl said...

Hey sweetheart, glad to hear it. I had to do this just over a year ago. I called it getting a psychological touch up. As you know, I've had some life-altering things happen in my earlier years and I've had loads of counseling for it.

I kept putting off the 'touch up' because I was telling myself that I've had enough counseling throughout my life that I should just *know* how to get past this (whatever 'this' was).

When I finally acknowledged the need, and made the appointment, it was almost as if a weight was lifted from my shoulders -even before counseling!

Best gift I could have given myself. Like you, I found someone that was EXACTLY meant for me. I only had six sessions and I was back to being ME again.

Thinking of you....

Crazy Lady said...

I am glad you have decided to take this step. It is a big one, but I know from expereince that it can be one of the best things that you do for yourself. For me, someone to talk to, and some happy little pills were the 2 best things I have ever given myself.

I hope your journey takes you to where you want to be.

Storm said...

good luck darling. And congratulations on taking a huge step.

Bex said...

Chin up. Things are looking better every day. (well, that never works for me, but I thought maybe you'd get something out of it...LOL)

Hugs.

Kylei said...

I am happy for you, most importantly you are willing to work on what ever pain you are dealing with. I know you hardly know me but seriously if you ever need some one to vent to or whatever just send me an e-mail or I will even give you my number. I know you have a wonderful support system but it never hurts to have more lovin :) No matter what BEST of LUCK to you!

Miss Cellania said...

Friends are people who care about you more than you care about yourself. We often slide our own problems under the table, and friends will let you know. Best of luck to you! You've already done the biggest part, by seeking out qualified help.

junebee said...

That's great you could find someone so qualified for your situation. You took a big step in asking for help. It wasn't easy but you did it. We're proud of you and all hoping for the best.

Chickie said...

Good for you for taking a step! I know it's hard to do.

Al said...

hey Zube girl! Glad to hear your working to better your situation. I've been in a bit of a funk myself lately. I personally don't really like to talk to people (just a slight exaggeration) so I've gone internal and am trying some meditation. Yeah I know, crazy ass California hippie boy stuff ;o)

Stay srong and take care!

Happy Villain said...

You know what's weird? I mean besides the Pam Anderson and Kidd Rock wedding. (Eww, just, ewwww.)

When I found myself lost, without a voice, afraid to leave my house and live my life, and talking about it did nothing for me, I started a blog (long since deleted). It was devoted to talking through the loss of my father. It helped me immeasurably. And the weird thing is, here you are, the blogging queen, and you have lost your voice and are seeking help from a real person.

Girl, whatever you have to do, even if it means streaking through the White House or painting a gargantuan image of your ovaries, you go ahead and do it, and know that we... or I (since I can't speak for everyone) will support you no matter what. Screw the blog. What's most important is finding out where (or who) Zube is now.

Good luck. *HUGS* You're in my thoughts.

Rainypete said...

Good for you! Most people won't admit they could use a tweak as we have attached a stigma to such help. I hope it helps give you the light and direction you seek.

Whoa......sounds all deep and such.
Who knew I had it in me?

Braindead Betty said...

Zube, I just recently found your blog and have been going through the archives.

You are an amazing woman. You shouldn't feel bad at all for needing to take some time for yourself.

I sincerely hope you're able to find what you need. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

justdawn said...

Interesting, schminteresting...

While your rants and stuff are ever so amusing...we love the "whole zube package"...and if that comes with a bit of grief followed by a dry spell...well, that just makes you human. No one can be "on" all of the time!

I am so glad that you have found a trustworthy confidant and that you are on your way to a happier and healthier zube. This has been a rough year for you...

Just be sure to check in here once in a while so we don't go all wonky with worry, mmmmkay???

Love to you, zube!

Bonanza Jellybean said...

DAMMIT. If I could get that damn google thing to work (fucking Mac snobs), I'd be SO happy. Just RUB MY NOSE IN IT, WHY DON'T YOU? :)

And my long distance bill is suffering from it too. Damn Google.

Lisa said...

WONDERFUL!!! I think counseling is a wonderful thing that everyone should try!!

PaintingChef said...

Oh sweetie. Its going to work out, and I'm ALWAYS here for you. As is the aforementioned head candy...

Amy said...

I'm sorry to hear you've been going through a rough time. I hope you find your voice soon too, more than anyone I know, you deserve to be supremely happy.

Rich | Championable said...

Hey, dude.

Not like I know you at all or anything, but I'm going to posit that you haven't lost your voice at all.

You're just not writing as much right now. It's not all or nothing.

Enjoy the shrink. It can be a good thing.

Gary said...

Good luck.

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