Wednesday, January 31, 2007

I'm Bitter...Just a Little...

I'm sorry to leave you all hanging! My cervix measured well on Wednesday, so the bedrest seems to be doing something. I'm kind of, eh, pissy about this whole thing. Not the bedrest, necessarily. I'm pissed about the fact that I've been so 'good' this whole pregnancy, not allowing myself to tempt fate and get too excited, and I just don't understand why I have to go through this shit. I told my Dad, the night before the Big Ultrasound, the scary one, that after that appointment I was thinking about finally letting myself be happy. And now this. So I went 21 weeks keeping a low profile, and now 2 1/2 more doing the same. I haven't bought one single baby related thing. I think at six months pregnant, other women are finishing up nurseries, so they don't have to worry about doing it when they're all big and round. Then there's me, who's sifting through the shit ton of Baby and Parenting magazines at the doctor's office to read some TV Guide or AARP crap because I just can't bring myself to read magazines having to do with babies. Bleh.

I'm feeling sorry for myself, and it's not pretty.

I'd like to share a photo with you. If you can find the kid, you win my admiration and respect. Because it took me quite a while. Like an hour or so. Here 'tis...



I'm hanging in, sustained by some brownies Painting Chef sent me and wearing the most adorable pair of PJs she and Bonanza sent my way upon hearing that I had no maternity pajamas, just Zube Boy's pajama bottoms. Physically, I'm doing pretty okay. Mentally, sometimes, not so much.

Ah! PS- From now on, I have to approve your comments. It's a pain in the ass, but I'm sick to death of deleting 10 spam comments on 10 different entries a day. Seriously, it's that ridiculous. And I figure I'm on the computer most of the time anyway, so I'll approve them quickly. You don't have to agree with me. EVER. You can piss me off even. Just don't try to direct me to some website that sells girl on girl BDSM porn or some shit like that.

Edited to add:

Does this help with the interpretation of the ultrasound photo?

19 Leg Humps:

Ginamonster said...

allright you. you're putting me in the spoilin mood. Hope I can still find you address.

PaintingChef said...

You know what's REALLY funny? We sent you those pjs on the day you went on bedrest. You hadn't even TOLD me about wearing ZB's pajama pants yet!

It just seemed cozier than flowers.

Amy said...

Email me your address, please, would you?

Bed rest sucks. Big time. I finally gave up around Christmas and decided to do whatever it was I needed to do... until Mike yelled at me. LOL

I can't blame you for not wanting to get all happy-go-lucky and baby-nutty. You've had a long, tough, road and no one knows that better than you. You have every right to every feeling you've been having, but you don't need me to tell you that.

Eh, basically, I just want you to know that I think of you often and I'm totally pulling for you guys.

Crazy Lady said...

Well, I am sure that if you wanted to spend time chatting on line - you would have a TON of people willing to visit with you and make your days shorter.

Kylei said...

I keep trying to post... I think I see a head and a leg and girly bits... is it not posting cause those are girly bits???

Rich | Championable said...

Much love and awesome thoughts, dudeness.

Hey, have you thought about turning on word-verification in instead of moderating? I have had zero automated spam comments since turning that on. It' in your blogger settings.

The Free Range Family said...

Normally I'm a lurker. I read your blog religiously, but seldom comment. Instead I talk to my puter screen when I feel like saying something to you. I'm weird that way I guess.

Anyway, I know how you feel about being pissed about not being able to be excited. When my son was only a few weeks old the pediatrician thought he might have a heart defect that could require surgery. My wife had a sister who died in the first few weeks of life from the same thing so it freaking freaked me out. I didn't know if I should be excited or let myself care too much for the little bologna loaf, and I hated myself for even feeling that way.

But, with every passing week you better your odds and just imagine the stories you can tell the little rotter when he/she gets out of line! "I was bedridden for months with you so don't tell ME you won't clean your room!"

And I don't even want to guess where the kid is in that picture. It looks like something Da Vinci drew when he'd dropped acid.

Gary said...

I am a very easygoing person, but if I were in your situation I would probably be pretty cranky. It must really be trying your patience.

Phil said...

Dammit, now how am I supposed to find the good girl-on-girl BDSM sites if you're deleting all the links? ;)

Glad to hear that you're doing well physically. Hope the mental thing follows soon enough. Still got my fingers and toes crossed for you, which is really making typing difficult.

Phil
Echoes in a Nomad's Head

serap said...

I have no idea what's going on in that picture! Please could you explain it to us?!

serap said...

YES! I see it now! Thank you so much, its so obvious now, I don't know why i couldn't see it before... although I guess I didn't think it would be so close up! Turtle is gorgeous, and looks totally chilled (it looks like his/her arm is behind his/her head in a sort of chilled, sunbathing pose!).

kylei said...

I was so VERY off… My hopes were up too way up.

Ginamonster said...

I still don't see it...

Ginamonster said...

ok, blew it up, now can see. cute!

justdawn said...

What a sweet and beautiful little face:)

That Guy I MArried says he thinks that The Odd One has tentacles:)

junebee said...

We have one of those pictures of the Branch. The Branch himself is indicated with a dot of the doctor's pen and if it weren't for that, I would have never figured it out! (That was prior to finding out the Blossom was there also!).

Bedrest has got to be boring as all get-out.

Miss I said...

Damn! So I am an ass. I talk to you tonite about helping you with
shopping and all that baby crap and thenI read your blog. Foot In Mouth..
Sorry dudette. I love ya and I hope
you weren't too annoyed by our conversation!!!I am ready to help
when you are ready. Until then I keep my mouth shut on this subject!

Miss I

Miss Cellania said...

Glad you posted an interpretation of the picture. Baby is bigger than I was looking for! Woo hoo! About the shopping and confinement... remember your Zen meditation. This too shall pass. Eyes on the prize.

I wanted to comment days ago, but Blogger wouldn't let me.

Erika said...

I am doing multiple naked voodoo dances for you! And it is way fucking cold. Much too cold to be dancing naked. And thanks for the imagery of the dildo cam. EWWWWWWW...

 

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