Friday, January 23, 2009

YAY! And Stuff...

First things first. I am incubating a masterpiece. Duh, you might be thinking. Of course she is incubating a masterpiece. It's that Zube blood. But I bet you weren't thinking that I was LITERALLY carrying The Scream in my womb. Don't believe me? Check it out...



You might have to click and biggify the picture to see the resemblence. All joking aside, I really don't have a freakin' clue what is what. Not even my imagination is that vivid. What I did find out is that there is a little heartbeat in there flickering away and that's all I need to know. Well, that and the ultrasound tech calmed my fear that my Scream does NOT, in fact, have an arm growing out of her/his head. I'm relieved.

I am eleven weeks now and we have a heartbeat. Just a week shy of the second trimester, I've decided to be happy and maybe a little excited. Pass the O'Douls! It's time to celebrate.

And, just in case you didn't know, if you're a little fucked up in the head? And you have a kid? You're still going to be a little fucked up in the head. Apparently having a kid doesn't de-fuck up you. Who knew? Not me. I kinda thought once I had a kid everything would fall into place and I'd be all perfectly awesome in my headspace. Not so much. Deliriously happy? Most times. Scared and confused and self-conscious? Once in a while.

So, I'm in counseling again. And I feel a little stupid about it, to be honest. How many times am I going to have to go to counseling before I'm, you know, done? Fixed? Just a smidge outside of normal? That's all I'm aiming for. I don't know. I'm coming to realize that I'm one of those people who needs a little guidancenow and again when it comes to keeping my head straight. That seems reasonable. People visit the dentist twice a year, get a physical once a year, a pap smear once a year. I go to counseling once every two years. Keeps me healthily insane. And I feel better for it.

PS - Yesterday was the thirteen year anniversary. THIRTEEN YEARS! Wow. The day actually passed with nary a thought about its significance. I just realized it today.

14 Leg Humps:

casadekaloi said...

Congrats on your pregnancy! I'm glad all is going well. :)

AmyD said...

Definitely a masterpiece!!!

Angela said...

Whooooo! Congratulations on baby number two, zubey! I'll be sending you warm fuzzy vibes!

And, think of counseling like tuning up your car. A little maintenance is way better than waiting until after it's shit the bed completely, no? :)

Waldo said...

I agree with Angela, it's a pretty good analogy.

I'm so happy to find out things are still going well with the pregnancy.

MoireLass said...

Angela has it right....I still go every once in a while myself. It does a body good. Keeping you in my most heartfelt and squishy-squashy prayers!

Chickie said...

Hee, Scream.

You are surely cooking up a one-of-a-kind in there!

And what Angela said about counseling.

Happy Villain said...

Wow, it seems like just yesterday you were incubating a turtle. Congratulations! I'm so happy for you. And the therapy thing is great, too. Take it from someone whose mother was assaulted and didn't get therapy -- your daughter(s?) would want this.

Dink said...

Look on the bright side... The Scream at least looks vaguely human- if you had said a Picasso, I'd have been concerned. :)

mizscarlett said...

I like it - first the Turtle, now The Scream...

Eggcellent work there, Miz Zube!

Also - counseling ain't nothing but a chance to have someone listen to you objectively and offer suggestions. When you're a mom of a toddling ZubeJr, and with ZubeJr II on the way, its hard to find anyone to listen to you unless you schedule it.

Ain't no thing.

Cheers to you!

courtney said...

Eee! It's so exciting. I look forward to updates from you so I can hear about your progress. The Scream is going to be gorgeous. :)

Crazy Lady said...

Woo Hoo! I'm so excited for you!

And a little therapy now and then is just fine - if it helps to keep you balanced - its a good thing!

iambrowneyedgirl said...

congratulations on your pregnancy!

Whitt said...

I found your blog via "Painting Chef" and I wanted to tell you that I've just read this post only and I love your personality, strength, and overall "way". You had me at "biggify". :)

Crazy Lady said...

Just checking in to see how the gestating is going...

 

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