This and That...And No, You Can't Get With Either...

-The other day I brought the kids to Family Gym Time at the local recreation center. I noticed a few people eyeballing me, most notably some Dads, and I thought, "Huh, maybe I look super cute or something and the divorced mens are quite taken." (I just love it when my ego purrs like a kitten.) Upon arriving home, I realized I'd thoughtlessly worn my t-shirt from a local brewery that said only, "Whiskey?" on the front. Oops. Most likely, they were noting which child's cry of, "Mommy!?" I pointedly ignored responded to and warned their own precious spawn to stay a safe distance from mine.

-Or maybe, even more likely, they were thinking, "Yeah. Wish I had some." And, for once, I'm not talking about yours truly. An unprecedented move on this here blog, I know.

-I let Zee choose her own outfits, within reason. Or, more accurately, within season...summer stuff won't fly in winter, but mismatched? Bring it. Folks who bear witness to her creative clothing concoctions probably either think I am mentally unstable or fostering her own spunky brand of flower pants, plaid shirt independence. Really? Neither is true. I just want to go to the grocery store already and the Path of Least Resistance guides my parenting compass more often than not. And most life decisions, honestly. Just ask my college professors who resisted giving me 'A's for being really fucking cool and making the keg my bitch.

-I had a dream the other night that my Dyson sucked up an entire pillow, no problemo. I woke up feeling especially smug. And like I needed to vacuum our bed.

-I'm having a crazy hair day. And I'm a two-dimensional Medusa. Don't look! I refuse to be responsible for you turning into a stick figure.



Oops...



Too late. Dude, you're skin and bones!

If it's any consolation, you can get with this. If you're into that.