Monday, April 18, 2005

Can't I Just Be Alone?

I started reading this book, Geisha (great, great book), on Saturday night. I read, oh, about 150 of 423 pages. I woke up on Sunday at the buttcrack of dawn because for some reason, I can't sleep in on weekends anymore. I peeked out the window and the sky looked like it wanted to snow, or freeze my snot if I dare go outside, so I decided to park my ass on the couch and read. All. Day. Cause what a fabulous way to spend the ickiness that is a cold, dreary Sunday. Right?

Wrong. I mean, it was right for about an hour, until the Roommate awoke from his slumber and clambered onto the other couch and asked the dreaded question, "Do you mind if I turn on the TV?" Sigh. Fine.

You know, I watch TV once in a while. I'd say I probably put in a good 6 or so hours a week mostly in the evenings when ZubeBoy and I are too wound up for shuteye, but feel like layin' in bed. I'm fond of Roommate, but damn if the TV isn't on At All Times when that boy is in the house. Whatever.

I hibernated in the bedroom reading my book while the drone of the TV wafted down the hallway until about 5:00PM. I decided to go to the Clubhouse so I could read in the hot tub, and not in my bed, because my intention that morning was never to lay in bed reading all day. It was to read on the couch all day. Splitting hairs, I know, but there is a difference.

I grabbed my book, hopped in the car, and drove to the Clubhouse. I didn't see any cars out front, so I smiled to myself. Wheeee, I get to be alone!!! I turned the key and stepped inside. To piggyback a line from a popular movie:

I see naked people. They're everywhere.

Yup. Only I didn't need any sort of sixth sense. There were three naked people, right before my eyes. Naked people of the erm, older variety. Not that I've got a problem with saggy boobs and droopy butts or anything. I'm no picture of perfection myself, my friend. But, Lord, guys, at your age, haven't you figured out yet that Water + Your Penis = Shrinkage? Not to mention that, ummm, as a resident of French Creek you share the pool/hot tub facilities with about 1,000 other people.

I just smiled as they apologized and freaked out. I couldn't rightly turn around and leave the building all, "Ohhhhmmmmmyyyyy GGGGGGoooooodddddd! They're nnnnnnneeeekkkkkkkiiiiiiddddddddd! Eeeeeewwwwww!"

So, I sat my ass in the adjacent hot tub (feeling pretty damn good in my bathing suit I must say), and read my fucking book for about an hour. Then I went back home to where Roommate was still on the couch watching TV (He actually totalled 15 hours on the couch watching TV yesterday, but who's counting?) I eventually went to bed, having not finished my book. I'll try again another day.

The Dieties did not have it in the stars for me to be alone yesterday.

0 Leg Humps:


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