There's a Mushroom in My Pocket...

Where I used to keep my wisdom teeth. I thought mushroom soup would be safe to eat, but no.

I think there might be a kernel of rice in there, too. I just wanted to eat something that I actually had to chew a little bit. But after two bites, I started to feel a little like a chipmunk stocking up for a snack later in my flavor saver pockets.

It's freaking me out a little.

No matter how often I gargle salt water, I just can't seem to get the stuff out. Then I'm like, well, maybe I'm just imagining it. But hours after eating rice, I'll gargle, and a piece of rice will fall out.

It's making me not want to eat anything but my banana babyfood. Maybe I will lose a little weight before we go to Puerto Rico, and I have to put on a bathing suit. Perhaps with all the money I save not buying food, I'll be able to afford to go tanning, too. Yeah. Because the equation of the day: My Bathing Suit Clad Bod = Whiteness. Scary whiteness.

But, other than a little soreness, I guess I'm okay. It's just totally weird having big holes where your teeth once lived!