Monday, July 11, 2005

Raise the Roof

If the roof caves in on his head, I will not say "I told you sometimes walls are there for a reason."

I've been breathing in and out, repeating this phrase over and over again. I picture it scrolling through my mind's eye.

The problem with remodeling your house with no expert assistance is that there is no one but yourself to blame when things go terribly wrong. Our brilliant idea is to knock down a wall in between two smaller bedrooms to make it into a large master bedroom.

Yesterday Zube Boy got a wild hair up his ass and decided to start knocking the wall down. Nevermind the fact that we are still sleeping in there because, ahem, we have another unfinished room we were going to move into while we were working on the master bedroom. I chalk this up to boys' penchant for tearing shit up, as opposed to fixing the shit that's already tore up, but that's just my li'l ole opinion.

I had expected that, at the very least, we'd invite some measuring tape bearing, pensive-face guy who would furrow his brow and let us know that, yay or nay, it will be safe to remove that wall.

Zube Boy thinks I'm overreacting. I think he's suffering from delusions which have him believing that since he is an electrician, this automatically makes him a walltrician. Which, well, NO! Just because you know shit about WIRES does not mean you know shit about WALLS.

Madon. I'm on the edge of my seat today.

I've edited to add my rendition of the wall. From this picture you can see that I suck at Paint Shop Pro, and couldn't even figure out how to make Zube Boy's head an actual circle, but there you have it.

There was a possibility (see how it's directly under the peak of the roof) that it might be load bearing because it is the only wall directly underneath the peak.

Anyway, gladly, I was wrong. The wall came out, and at least for now, the roof seems to be staying in place. I have sufficiently recovered from my hissy fit and am sad that I wasted my Bitchy Wife free pass for the week on this.

8 Leg Humps:

Blog ho said...

it will be fine. i say this because i've torn down a similar wall and it was fine. then i moved and tore down more walls. that's what moving is..the art of destruction.

Zube said...

Thanks Blog Ho. I actually have edited to draw a picture, because it could have been a precarious situation. But, all is well in the Zube household, and now I owe him lots of sex for being a royal pain in the ass. Gee, poor me! ;-)

Oh, and you are soooo much better at the picture drawing than I am!

Kjersten said...

I don't know anything about load-bearing walls, or non-load-bearing walls for that matter... but zube boy's head is CLASSIC! I may get Paint Shop Pro just to try making f'ed up circles! :D

Zube said...

Kjersten- Hee! Isn't it great! His real head's not a circle anyways, so there!

zazzafooky said...

Yikes. I did that once, and it was a load bearing wall but we didn't know it until the contractor came out!

Good luck with that one :-)

kyknoord said...

If ZB is so keen to swing a sledgehammer, all he has to do is hold up a liquor store and wait. I also get agitated when people don't finish something properly - like when my wife gets up to make a sandwich during sex. So annoying!

PaintingChef said...

Oh...seriously, the fights we have during home improvement projects. Like none other. Shit flying and everything.

Glad to hear that Zube Boy's oddly shaped head is alright.


Zube said...

TJ- Pssst...It *was* a load bearing wall. No biggie. He knows how to fix it. Sometimes I think he enjoys playing dumb and watching me twitch.

In his defense, realizing that I kind of made him sound like an idiot, the boy is a genius. No, seriously. His Mom told me in grade school, his IQ test was somewhere in the 150's. Unfortunately, being that smart and having ADD only landed the poor guy in special ed classes where he was even more bored. But don't tell him. I don't need his head getting bigger, 'cause then I'd have to redo my illustration and we all know how much I suck at drawing heads. ;-)

Anywho, the roofs being held up sufficiently, and between him and our construction worker friends, they'll find some way to reinforce it. Whew!

Kyknoord- Heh, heh. I get the inkling your wife is as funny as you!

PaintingChef- Oooh, but the shit flying is what makes things interesting, eh? :-)


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