Thursday, August 18, 2005

The Mom

Five years ago...

One hour after I'd gotten my tongue pierced...


Z-Girl: What the...? Thit. I can't anther. The'll know...


Z-Girl: If I don't anther the'll freak out. Dammit.


Z-Girl: Hi, Mom.

Mom: Hi honey.

Z-Girl: What'thup?

Mom: Nothing...Hey. What's wrong with your mouth?

Z-Girl: Nuthin'. Why?

Mom: You sound, well, weird. *Gasp* You got your tongue pierced, didn't you?

Z-Girl: Oh my gawd? What are you, thycic?

Mom: Zube Girl. *Sigh*

Let's pretend here that Zube is my first name and Girl is my middle name, because even at 25 your mother still lets you know you're in trouble by calling you by your first and middle names. Or at least mine does. Still. And I'm thirty.

I eventually took out the tongue ring three and a half years ago for a job interview. The job I have right now as a matter of fact. Only, after the interview, I couldn't get the damn thing back in.

As if to add insult to injury, my first day on the job, I realized another guy had one.

Anywho, my Mom will always surprise me, I swear. She and my sisters came out to visit two years ago, and my sisters and I were joking about us all getting matching tattoos. Even Mom. Mom just kept saying, "You girls," which is her way of letting us know we're being ridiculous.

We managed somehow to drag her into the tattoo parlor laughing and giggling. We perused through various books and sundry.

Mom: This one is kind of cute. Can we get this one?

I'm beaming just remembering it. My sisters and I fell silent. After a few moments, it finally dawned on us that Mom was suggesting we get matching tattoos. Whee!

And here they are:

From left to right: My Belle, Hoot, Zube Girl (Shut up! You're not going to go blind!), and Mom

Pretty cool, eh?

23 Leg Humps:

Beth said...

VERY VERY cool! They're pretty too!

Kjersten said...

My eyes! It's good to know that someone else shares the burden of extreme whiteness. My sisters all look like aborigines in the summer... and I'm always the butt of their jokes.

junebee said...

And how cool is that?! What did your Dad say about all his tattooed ladies?!

PaintingChef said...

What is it a tattoo of...I can't tell?

But how kick-ass is your mom? My mom nearly deafened me with the screaming, oh the screaming and the yelling like someone had died, when she saw that I had more than one earring in each ear. And I don't even have the extra (4) holes anymore...geez mom...get a fuckin' grip. (Which, as I quickly found, was NOT the best answer)

PaintingChef said...

really it was 8 extra holes, four more in each ear. But very asteful with just a little tiny silver hoop in each one, I mean COME. ON.

PaintingChef said...

that's tasteful with a "t" and now I'm going to comment no more...

Anonymous said...

Wow... I'm impressed. I was going to get my bellybutton pierced on vacation, but I chickened out because I couldn't imagine how comfortable it would be riding in the car for 9 hours with that irritation at my waistband.


Mine never said anything about my tattoos- she just rolled her eyes, like "There goes my stupid daughter again- she's going to end up on a street corner."

Those are very beautiful and tasteful. I'm jealous. My mom would drop dead in a faint at the thought.

Phil said...

Can't quite make out what the tats are of . . . a thistle? Especially hard to tell on that third leg from the left . . . the glare is too intense. ;)


Blog ho said...


Chickie said...

Did you all use the same design but different colors?

That is too neat.

Zube said...

Queen of Ass- Thank ya!

Kjersten- It so sucks because they live by the beach, and I do not. In fact, I wear pants all year round mostly out of necessity. It just doesn't get hot enough around here to show off my legs!

Junebee- We tried to talk Dad and Bro into getting one, too, but they weren't having it. Dad thinks we're too cool for school. :-)

PaintingChef- My Mom was the same way. We had this huge family meeting when I wanted my second holes. I now have three in one, two in the other, and as you say, they're small earrings and look classy.

The tattoo is a little flower with dancing legs, or at least that's what it looks like. The tattoo artist, a friend of mine, redrew it because I'm a snobby bitch, and won't get a tattoo out of a book.

Bonanza Jellybean- I think my Mom rocks! I had my bellybutton pierced twelve years ago, when no one else had one yet. But, it kept getting infected and I had to take it out. I'll tell you, though, those things are a bitch when they're healing and it takes like six months. Ugh.

Phil- Yeah, I had to scan the picture, so it's not very good, but it's a little flower that's kind of dancing.

Blog Ho- Close! But, I would've refused, because it seems like everyone has a rose.

Chickie- Okay, so this is a little confusing. We each picked our favorite color and that's what the flower is. In the center of each flower is the favorite color of the elder person. For example, mine is purple which is my favorite, and the center of my flower is yellow, which is my Mom's flower color, and her favorite? Make sense?

Then, to complete the circel, the center of Mom's flower is the youngest's, My Belle's, favorite color. Pink.

It's a tad confusing.

Anonymous said...

This is utterly cool!

Anonymous said...

Wow, your mom is cool.

Anonymous said... mom and sister did the same thing about 4 years ago. I was jealous (she was visiting my sister in FLA), so I went and had one done, too!!

Very cool!

Courtney said...

That's neat. i got my tongue pierced on a whim about 5 years ago but mine is still in. I think it would feel weird without it.

Julie Marsh said...

That is wild! I have no tattoos and no piercings other than my ears. I considered piercing my belly button about six months before I got PG with Tacy. Now I'm glad I didn't because I'm not displaying my belly button to anyone, so what would be the point of having a ring?

Zube said...

Helen- Thank you. It is way cool. Peace to ya, too!

Old Guy- Totally!

SK- Isn't it awesome?! Every time I see it I think of them, and they suddenly don't seem so far away.

Courtney- It was soooo weird not having it in. I miss it still.

Mother Goosemouse- Oh, I know that feeling! And I don't even have kids yet! Yikes...

Pause said...

Zube why is your ankle so much paler then the rest?

Zube said...

Because I live in the mountains and it happens to be a bit chilly all year round, particularly in the evening. I've stopped wearing shorts because you never know when an afternoon romp will surpass 6:30PM. In short, I've given up on shorts.

My Mom and sisters live by the beach.

Amy said...

I think that is one of the coolest, sweetest things I've ever heard. It reminds me of the kind of thing my mom, sister, and I used to do. Emphasis on used to... my sister is acting strange. I'm going to post about it soon.

You are SO lucky to have 2 sisters!

Zube said...

Amy- Thanks! I always feel a bit bad for a sole brother. We were trying to talk him into getting one, too.

Anonymous said...

It was one of the coolest things that we did and I think my mom is pretty cool for doing it I should know because my leg is the second from the left

Zube said...

HOOT! Nice to see you here! :-)


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