Al With Thick Stout and Coffee is Rocking Out

Al hails from Thick Stout and Coffee. He's cool as shit. He and I share a love of coffee and beer. I've no doubt that if Zube Boy and I were ever in his area, we would have a BLAST at dinner with Al and his wife Joyce. Without further ado...

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Ok, today I'm here to talk to you about love and marriage from a man's point of view. Why? you may ask? Because it's a MAN'S world dammit! And don't you ladies forget it!

I like to hear it, I like to say it: "It's a MAN'S world! Woman, get in the kitchen and get me a beer. And make me a cheeseburger while your in there!! "

SSHHH....shit, my wife's coming.... "Oh that's nothing honey, that was the TV..."

Damn, I hate when she sneaks up on me like that.

When I'm not filling in for the almighty Zube Girl, I blog about beer
and coffee (with a good dose of nonsensical ranting thrown in). But this is the Love and Marriage blog, so I'll try to explain the relevance of Love and Marriage and Coffee and Beer. In my world, one set depends on the other.

Love and Coffee
A typical guy doesn't communicate like a typical woman does. Guy's just can't comprehend why it takes so many words to describe something. For instance, I woke up and made coffee in the french press this morning. If you asked both my wife and I to talk about it, it would go something like this...

You: Hey, this is good coffee. Where did you get it? Starbucks?

My answer would be: No way, fuck Starbucks! I roasted it myself and made it in the french press.

Joyce's answer would be: Al made it in the french press. He roasts and grinds it himself. I'm glad you like it. I think it's a little dark and chocolatey, don't you? My girlfriend Jill likes it this way, she'll drink two big cups to get going in the morning... blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah....Isn't it nice out? I'm going to get my travel mug so I can drink this when we go out.......blah blah blah blah....oh, and don't ask him about starbucks either, it's a sore subject around
here...blah blah...plus my kids will start screaming NO
STARBUCKS...


Nothing against my wife, it's not her fault. It's just how women communicate.

You see, guy's have to drink coffee so we can get a jumpstart and at least be able to follow along with what our wives/girlfriends say without getting too lost. I love her, so I drink enough coffee to say more than 'yup' and 'uh huh' when she's talking to me.

Beer and Marriage
Now beer? Beer makes me loud and chatty. I can almost talk like a woman after a few beers. Since Joyce usually doesn't drink. I'll come home, have a few beers during dinner, then we can talk at the same rate for a couple of hours until my buzz wears off. You see? Beer is the great equalizer. If you don't drink it, you won't ever have a two sided conversation that makes sense. Bottoms up fellas!

The bottom line is this:

Guys, If you love her, drink lots of coffee. And, if you want to stay married, drink lots of beer.

Girls, If you love him and don't plan on firing him, make sure the fridge is well stocked with Guinness and the coffee is fresh!

Well, that's my story and I'm sticking with it...