Thursday, October 27, 2005

Drug Bust

I arrived home from work to a scene of debauchery. Actually, it was more like the scene that debauchery left behind. Apparently, a certain feline, I'm not sure which one because we have quite a feline infestation going on around here, decided they'd had enough with me being the Drug Lord of the house, doling out catnip as I see fit, and took matters into their own, erm, paws.

Mind you, this required a bit of strategy, as the catnip lives in the highest cabinet known to the Zubes behind the doggie treats.


It would seem, one, or perhaps two, of the felines retrieved their drug of choice, and had one hell of a good time. And the most fucked up part about it is their futile attempt to frame the dog by strewing the evidence all over his bed. You'd think they'd at least have the decency to steal him a treat or two while they were thieving away. Selfish bitches.


But, I'm a twinge jealous because it really looks like they had a fucking blast. While I was slaving away at work earning money to buy them more catnip. Even though they don't deserve it. Fiending felines. Whatever. I'm a sucker.

Anyway, it must have been quite a party.


When was the last time YOU slept this well?

27 Leg Humps:

Courtney said...

hahahahaha! That's hilarious! They're so cute! My catnip is kept on top of the fridge and while one of the cats IS smart enough to get up there- I don't think she's made the connection and realizes that that's where we store it.

kyknoord said...

Yeah, it's all funny now, but just wait until the withdrawal starts setting in. You'll probably have to start calling Zube Boy 'Claude Balls' instead.

Chickie said...

Aw man, they look like they are baked!

I wish I could get the same effect from the 'nip.

PaintingChef said...

Last time I slept that well huh? I'd have to say after a somewhat similar chemically induced party...

Zube Girl said...

Courtney- See, I think they noticed which cabinet I was putting it in when I finished giving it to them. No wonder they would sit and stare at me for a minute before frolicking in the nip.

Kyknoord- Ah. Claude Balls is a moniker Zube Boy has joyfully not been called yet. Never say never, eh?

Chickie- I know. The only thing is, I'm glad that, at least when I was a stoner, my back didn't twitch when I got high. That would be embarrassing, but the cats don't seem bothered by it. It's like they compete with each other to see who can get the twitchier back.

PaintingChef- Me, TOO!

LaLa Lisa said...

Ahh, only the furry kids can make you go from wanting to put cement boots on them to making you melt into a puddle of sappiness. That last pic is so cute! Although, I probably would have been ticked enough to yell "Boo" and wake them from their drug induced slumber. Hehe.

Zube Girl said...

Lala Lisa- Now why oh why did I not think of saying 'Boo'!?

Bonanza Jellybean said...

I am reminded of the scene from Scarface when pacion falls into the pile of coke- we had a cat do that with catnip once. :)

Freakin' junkies you got there... I think rehab might be on the horizon... and I can't believe they tried to frame the dog, but you know, junkies will do anything to keep their addictions going. Poor puppy.

Phil said...

See, cats are evil incarnate. Trying to frame the poor dog like that. Lying and stealing and cheating . . . quite a pair of kids you raised there, Zube ;)

Phil
http://nomadechoes.blogdrive.com

Zube Girl said...

Bonanza- You know, don't feel too bad for the dog. He's an alcoholic. Heh.

Zube Girl said...

Phil- Geez, just imagine the results when we go for the real thing, eh? In the event we have kiddos, wanna babysit? :-P Lock up your valuables first!

JJ said...

My lady and I bought a catnip bush thingy. As soon as we brought it into the apartment, my cat went nuts. She could smell it from the other room!

We tried to hide it behind a closed door, but the cat just sat there whining about it. she's totally addicted.

Sam said...

Hi! I found you through the comments at abortion clinic days. I was amazed at the insanity of Paige/Zelda and thought your comments were level-headed and reasonable. I thought I would stop by and check out your blog for a few... I see you have catnip sluts on your hands, I have one myself. Oh, and a little OCD thing going on with the towel post. I'll be back!

Phil said...

Zube, I will babysit your hellspa--err, offspring on one condition and one condition only . . . me & Hoot babysit together ;)

Phil
http://nomadechoes.blogdrive.com

Crazy Lady said...

What! Those kitties are the very picture of feline sainthood. My money is on the pooch, trying to frame the cats into getting the boot so he can rule the roost.

Jess said...

I wonder if cats get hang overs... I had one cat that did that to me.. I dont think the cats I have now have discovered where I keep their 'drugs' haha

junebee said...

My question is how, providing your cats aren't some kind of freaks with opposable thumbs, did they get the jar open?!? By the picture, they look like a couple of stoners to me.

Anduin said...

You've heard of mean drunks, well my cat is a mean nip addict. He rolls around on the floor making growly noises and will bite and swat at anyone near him while he's getting his nip on. It's a riot to watch.

Zube Girl said...

JJ- Ooh, have you ever tried the cat grass? They just eat it right out of the planter? That's some cool shit, and they loved it. However, it did not make them very behave in a very nice way to the other plant members of our family.

Sam- Thank you for stopping by! And yeah. Zelda and Paiger are ridiculous. But I say ridiculousness is best fought with a cool head and calm demeanor. Makes the screamers less, screamy. Know what I mean? Anyway, my house is ruled by catnip sluts!

Phil- It would be perfect. You could both meet in the middle! Here.

CrazyLady- Heh. They do look quite innocent, don't they?

Jess- Yeah, I need to find a new hiding spot. :-)

Junebee- Well, here is where I let the cat out of the bag. Sometimes, I'm an absentminded chef, and leave plastic containers near the stove when I'm cooking so they warp, and the lids no longer fit on them tightly. Hee.

Anduin- Oh yes. I love it when they fight over the nip. That's funny as shit. So, Zinnia, AKA Baby Kitty these days, doesn't get one lick of nip with the other two bullying and whopping her on the head in their nip induced haze.

Amy said...

ROTFLOL

We once had a cat, Georgie, that we planted catnip for. He rolled around in it until he was very high and then rolled right into a cactus. Talk about buzzkill... I've never seen a cat shoot across the yard that fast!!

zazzafooky said...

Too cute! I only wish I slept 1/2 as good as my cats do :-)

Doggie Extraordinaire's Mom said...

All I could think of when I read your last comment on my blog about your animals tearing into the voodoo doll was that you had to have hidden the catnip in the voodoo doll! The evidence is in the photos!

Oh, and thanks for the voodoo juju. I owe you one, I swear! Or is that two now? Don't know what the hell I have to offer, but whatever it is, you get two!

txsm said...

Thank god I wasn't drinking anything on that one...I would have had ruin the laptop, no less ruin my sinuses!!! ROTFLMFAO!!!! OMG, Zube, you never cease to amaze me!!! I was picturing the cats waiting for you to leave, sneaking into the kitchen, whispering to each other, "You go", "I'm not gonna go, you go" "No, it was YOUR idea." Lordy, my sides hurt on that one!! Jeez, now I have to watch my two cats and our catnip!

bekah said...

HAAHAAHAA. That's so awesome! Cats are thieving monsters, aren't they? And even worse - they're SMART thieving monsters. Too funny.

Zube Girl said...

Amy- I would kill to have witnessed the cactus incident. Hee.

TJ- Same here. I would love to take short little naps all day and night.

Librarian- You don't owe me a THING! :-) I'm just glad Mrs. Dingdong's not going to ruin a favorite blog of mine! I was selfishly motivated. It's true.

TXSM- Heh heh. See, I hadn't pictured it like that, but now that I am, you've got me giggling!

Bekah- Oh, they so are! Brats, I say.

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