Former Friend (snottily): You know, the leather store is having a sale. We could stop by there so you could buy a real wallet.
What I said: Nah. I like this one.
What I should have said: I happen to like my duct tape wallet which was made for me by the twelve year old son of a friend who happens to beam with pride whenever he sees me pull it out of my purse, so fuck off with your condescension.
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Former Friend (speaking in motherese to her precious little cherub): Zube Girl is never going to have any friends for you, is she?
What I said: Nothing
What I should have said: Why would you say something that cruel? You know I can’t wait to have kids.
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Former Friend: So and so bought a car…blah blah blah…really expensive…blah dee dee…she can’t afford her rent now…yadda yadda yadda.
What I said: That’s a shame. She could have bought something a little more reasonable.
Former Friend: Well, not everyone has a rich husband who can buy them a fancy car.
What I said: Whatever.
What I should have said: RICH?!?! Are you fucking kidding me??? I’ve driven a 1994 Jeep Cherokee with a fucked up engine and over 200,000 miles on it for the past five years. The only reason we bought this stupid 2000 Grand Cherokee is because Zube Boy’s 1995 Grand Cherokee was stolen, and we needed another car. And rich, we are not. I mean, we’re not scrounging the trash bin outside of Daylight Donuts for breakfast or anything because we both work our asses off, but I would not say we are in any way rich. Bitch.
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I'm over feeling guilty about neglecting this friendship to the point where it is unsalvagable. Actually, I'm not over the guilt. That's why I'm attempting to remind myself why I let it sour in the first place.
Saturday, October 22, 2005
Just a Few Reasons I Should Not Call Her
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10 Leg Humps:
She sounds simply charming. I can't imagine why you wouldn't want to spend time her.
Doesn't sound like there was really a friendship there to neglect. Friendship is a two-way street, and it looks to me like she was only "friends" with you so she could make snotty comments and make herself feel superior. You're not losing anything if she's not in your life.
Phil
http://nomadechoes.blogdrive.com
I am of the devout belief that life is FAR TOO SHORT to spend time with people who I'm not thrilled to be with. To me, it's the same as stealing minutes and hours from my life. It sounds a lot like you are a friend to her, but she is not much of a friend to you, so you have nothing to lose really. :)
You should feel NO guilt over setting any remnants of this friendship of fire.
I'm a fan of the phrase "I don't need you to make myself miserable."
Every time I saw her, this friend of mine always said two or three sentences like this:
"Isn't it great to see me?"
"Aren't I fabulous?"
"Aren't you impressed with me?"
I mean, literally. At first, I thought it was quirky-funny. But after a long while, I was like: Shit. She really *means* it.
So I quietly ditched. There's a lot to be said for taking the amiably silent road. No explanations, no reasons, just no longer engaging. It was kind of a relief.
Thanks for stopping by Championable. You're blog rocks, too. That article about you is pretty amazing. If you lived around here, I suspect you'd be pretty fast friends with my beloved.
Cheers.
Mother Goosemouse- Don't she though?
Phil- You are so right. I have another friend who sort of watches this from the sidelines, and she said it's so obvious that Former Friend is a little jealous. One of the things she pokes fun at all the time is how we decorate our house. The reason for this, I think is that Zube Boy and I bought our house, tore shit up immediately, and are now in the process of trying to put it back together. She and her husband have had a major 'remodel' planned each summer for about four years now.
Librarian- I love the 'stealing minutes from me'. That's a great way to look at it.
Chickie- Thank you for telling me what I've been trying to tell myself. Sometimes it helps to hear it from other people.
Rich- Hey, thanks for stopping by, and saying such sweet things, no less. :-) Same as you, I would have kind of thought your friend was being funny at first, but after a while, it would indeed get old!
Lala Lisa- My mantra shall be 'Screw 'em'!
I think "former" is the correct term here. Sounds real insensitive and unaware to boot.
What a bitch! Had a former friend (we had been very close since 3rd grade, she was my Maid of Honor at my wedding, blah blah blah) same type of situation as you had here (and she was thin, fairly cute, single and couldn't manage to get a date to save her life. Wonder why? hmmm) she was so freaking miserable (she taught 3rd grade) that she took her crap out on her students, in my opinion, she was incredibly cruel and I told her so. She loved to brag about what a hardass she was to them.
The last time I saw her I was pregnant with Maggie and she was telling me how I shouldn't buy a suburban to haul around three kids (as if it were her business). We haven't spoken at all since. I used to feel bad about it... but now, I'm thrilled she's gone.
Junebee- So true. I know.
Amy- See, people like that make me feel kind of bad that I never followed through with teaching. I would have been a great teacher.
She sounds like a bitch.
Do not call.
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