Wednesday, November 23, 2005


Look what I did find in mine own little yard:

It would appear that one of the Clan 'O Pant Shrinkers has perished in the snow. I'll have to chip him out of the ice and see if he still has his Shrinking Ray Gun. I could use that shit, like when Zube Boy is going on and on about how his pants are getting bigger because I don't cook dinner. I bet I could shrink him up real good. Then I'd throw crumbs at his scrawny ass.

It'd be like that movie, but more like, "Honey, I Shrunk, My Honey!" And I'll do one of those little fist pumps and prance around the kitchen hissing, "YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! I rule the world!"

Woah. I think I just got a little carried away there.

Today is going to be AWESOME! Just look how it started out.

If you didn't read yesterday's post you are probably TOTALLY lost. Heh.

16 Leg Humps:

Alaskan_Chilli said...

Why am I now afraid that 'we three bitches' are going to take over the world?? What with your shrinking ray gun we stand no chance...

Phil said...

First, what you need to do now is dismember the gnome you found. Put his head, each arm, each leg and torso on little pikes at various points around your house. It'll warn all the other gnomes to stay away. That or incite them to riot and wage full on war against your home. But I think you could take 'em.

Second, next time ZubeBoy brags about how his pants are getting bigger, just respond "Y'know, I kinda noticed how baggy in the crotch they've gotten." I'm betting he won't bring it up again. Er, I mean, he won't talk about that again.


ladydaria said...

Too funny. Happy Thanksgiving

Crazy Lady said...

I think that looks like a ray gun frozen in his little hands.

Amy said...

That is one gnome who is not going to be bragging about the bathwater being all nice and "wooshy" or the benefits of using travelocity!

You have truly struck a blow for freedom for victims of pant-shrinking everywhere!!!!

Jess said...

hahaha! That frozen piece of gnome fucker! hehehe

justdawn said...

ROFL...that poor little gnome froze to death! That oughtta teach 'em!

Zube said...

University Girl- Watch out world! Here we come. Heh.

Phil- I am SO doing the spike thing. That should sufficiently scare the other gnomes. I wonder how scared I should be of a retaliation?

Dariana- Thanks! Happy Thanksgiving to you too!

Crazylady- It does, doesn't it?

Amy- HA! The Travelocity gnome definitely has it better than this one.

Jess- I almost feel sorry for him.

Justdawn- That's right.

You guys all crack me right the hell up.

Rich | Championable said...

Dude, I've got similar gnomes in my house... but instead of shrinking my pants, they remove 1/32nd of an IQ point. It's an insidious, creeping process. Bastards.

Rock on, sister.

Doggie Extraordinaire's Mom said...

I have yet to meet a man who needed shrinking. Possibly their heads, being all empty with such a small brain rattling around in there, but that's about all. Where's the Growing Gnome? I've known some guys who could have benefitted from a good dose of growing. Because they really don't look pleased when I say, "Is that all you got?" :) Must've been hit with the Shrinking Ray Gun. (sigh...)

junebee said...

Hey, can you shrink my butt with that ray gun?!

kyknoord said...

You better watch the little bastard when you thaw him out. He may be using his Chucky/Jedi mental powers to give the appearance of death to lull you into a false sense of security, just so that you'll take him into the house. If this is your last entry, we'll know why.

Anonymous said...

Wow- we only have little gnomes here who shrink men's brains...

Phil said...

Pssst, Zube. Don't let your local gnomes catch you looking at this site, but I think you'll get a kick out of it. ;)


P.S. Sorry about the multiple post--I screwed up the link in the first one (or two lol). I hope it works this time (if not, oh well--I tried).

Anonymous said...

We dont have gnomes, we have the Tokolosh!!! (imagine Austin Powers announcing this really bad character)People actually put their beds on bricks cause they are afraid of this evil little character and apparently he is really short so if your bed is built up high he cant get to you or something stoopid like that. The fact that you need a step ladder to get onto your matress is another point and if you have a fear of hieghts, thats also another story. Nevermind the serious injuries you could aquire if you fall out of your bed for whatever reason.

Zube said...

Rich- Ooh, Im glad those gnomes don't live here.

Librarian- Haha!

Junebee- Now that I will have to try!

Kyknoord- You're right. I've got my eye on him.

Bonanza- Heh. I've got those, too.

Phil- That site is AWESOME!

Banquo- Oh my god! I'm glad we don't have those because they sound creepy!


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