Monday, December 05, 2005

He's Full of Something...

Z-Girl: Honey?

Z-Boy: Yeah.

Z-Girl: Do you want to be cremated or buried when you die?

Z-Boy: I wanna be stuffed.

Z-Girl: Heh.

Z-Boy: And I want you to put little wheels on my shoes so you can take me for a walk everyday.

Z-Girl: Mm-hmm.

Z-Boy: And, and, and, oh yeah, I want a party every year on my birthday with strippers and lap dances.

Z-Girl: 'Kay.

Z-Boy: And, let me think...

Z-Girl: You know, honey, this is going to be really time consuming. I mean, what if I get remarried? Don't you think my new husband would get a little jealous of all the time I'll be spending with your stuffed corpse?

Z-Boy: Well, it's not like I'll have to sleep in your bed or anything.

Z-Girl: Okay. That's a relief I guess.

Z-Boy: You could just, you know, prop me up in the corner of the bedroom.

19 Leg Humps:

Bethany said...

Bwah, ha, ha! :-) Corner, my ass! How 'bout the corner of the dumpster.

lysie6211 said...

There's a taxadermist down the road if you need one! LOL!!

mergrl said...

ROFL too funny, my grandmother who was such a hoot told me at my grandfathers funeral she wanted me to stuff her and stand her by the door as a mail and key holder :0)

Zube Girl said...

Bethany- Hee hee. That sounds a little more like it.

Lysie- I'll keep that in mind.

Mergrl- Don't get me wrong, I love the wittiness of it. The only problem was I was trying to be all serious because that's something I figure a wife should know about her husband! Heh.

Bonanza Jellybean said...

Weekend at Zube Boy's!

hee hee

Phil said...

Well, since he wants to be able to have lap dances AND go for walks, then obviously he wants you to spring for the "posable stuffed Zube Boy". Now, just think of all the fun you could have with a posable, life-sized Zube Boy . . . one that won't object to being put in any position or clothing you want. Won't talk back or complain about the pictures you take of him in his tights and feather boa. Or of your new husband, um, "checking the stuffing" . . . ;)

Phil
http://nomadechoes.blogdrive.com

Doggie Extraordinaire's Mom said...

I'm with Phil. Doesn't Zube Boy know what you do to the dog? Can you imagine how much fun it would be to dress up your husband any way you want and do anything with his body. Hehe, and I'm not even thinking dirty. I'm thinking flowery dresses, mumus, gargantuan granny panties, or maybe something Liberaci-like, like a sequin-embellished jumpsuit. Oh yeah! That would be great. I say go with it!

RockyJay said...

Spooky. I doubt you could perform in bedroom, having stuffed ex-hubby standing in the corner... and those eyes taxidermists use are kinda scary...

Not that anyone asked - or even is interested - but, I shall have my body cut in upper and lower torso. Then they shall be buried in two separate graves; one in Hawaii, one in Alaska (just to be far, far away). Let the friggin siblings figure out, which grave has only my ass buried. See, I can even annoy people when dead - or especially then? Ok, used my space...

Miss Ann Thrope said...

You stole my husband.

Some day when you have nothing better to do, hit up his category on my blog...read about his serial killer plan.

banquo said...

So Zube Girl, do you want to be cremated or buried? (Thought I'd ask seeing as your hubby went off on his little tangent about being stuffed...) me I wanna be cremated.

kyknoord said...

And when he's not propped up in the bedroom, you could give him a little fishing rod, put him out next to the pond and have the world's biggest garden gnome.

Zube Girl said...

Bonanza- Heh. That's what my coworker said when I told her the story.

Phil- Okay, now I'm startinng to think that would be fun. *cackling evilly*

Librarian- Haha! I'm going to purchase a sequin adorned jumpsuit just for that very purpose.

RockyJay- I'm thinking it would be totally freaky. And you have a MASTER plan of annoyance after death. I like that. I'll have to conjure up mine.

Miss Ann Thrope- I shall read those! We with crazy husbands have to stick together.

Banquo- See, I think I want to be cremated and thrown out over the mountain tops, but I also know how much solace I find in visiting the graves of relatives even though I know they're not really there, and I visit with them in my mind. I'm not really sure. I was sort of wondering what Zube Boy wanted so I could firm up my plan. I don't know why it really matters what he wants to do but it kind of does matter to me for some reason.

Kyknoord- YES! That's perfect. I'll make Zube Boy into a gnome. And he'd be so much bigger than the pant shrinking gnomes that I'm sure he'd scare them away.

junebee said...

Maybe you could get Zube-boy re-Zubed like in that Arnold Schwarzeneggar movie where they took the dog to Re-pet and cloned it!

justdawn said...

ROFL...my FIL has always told us he wants to be stuffed and placed in his favorite chair in front of the TV when he dies. I am glad that he is not the only sick-o who has that kind of plan;) heh

Zube Girl said...

Junebee- That'd be scary. Like what if I cloned him, only he was more, um, himself than he is now! Crazy.

Justdawn- I'm glad HE'S not the only kook!

PaintingChef said...

And they say that romance is dead!

Anduin said...

I used to tease my mother-in-law that when her dog died, we would stuff him, mount him on wheels and drive him around the house by remote control. You could do the same with Zube Boy and play recordings of him saying "where's my dinner?" or something like that.

Zube Girl said...

P-Chef- Heh. Not around here!!!

Anduin- Heh. Then I won't miss him so much. But it will be okay because he'll look so cute in his mumu that I'll fall in love with him all over again.

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