Monday, December 12, 2005

When I Grow Up...

The Scene: We're watching TV and one of those commercials for WWF wrestling comes on.

Z-Girl: Honey, I want to be a WWF wrestler when I grow up.

Z-Boy: I thought you wanted to be a hockey referee?

Z-Girl: Well, yeah, that too. I can be both, can't I?

Z-Boy: But, if you want to be REALLY good at either one you should probably focus.

Z-Girl: Hmmm...

Z-Boy: What's icing?

Z-Girl: Like the stuff on cakes?

Z-Boy: No, honey. In hockey.

Z-Girl: Well, I think it's when one team hits the puck over the, um, line, and like, none of his other teammates have crossed it yet or something.

Z-Boy: Uh, do you know what that line is called?

Z-Girl: I forget.

Z-Boy: Well, you're gonna have to know that shit if you want to be a hockey referee.

Z-Girl: I'm sure they'll teach me the rules in hockey referee school. Do they have a school for that?

Z-Boy: Eh. I think you should be a WWF wrestler.

Z-Girl: Why?

Z-Boy: You don't know how to ice skate either. I think you're better suited for wrestling.

Z-Girl: Maybe you're right.

Z-Boy: I think I am.

15 Leg Humps:

Storm said...

oh, you totally want to be a wrestler. They wear cute little outfits and get into fights and get to say, "bitch, that's my man!" all the time. Yeah, and you'd get to be surrounded by really built men. I think that wrestling would be freaking great. I wanna join too...

Bonanza Jellybean said...

Back to squashing all the hopes and dreams, isn't he? :) You can LEARN to skate, and I doubt any of those refs really know what icing is- they make that shit up as they go.

I would SO come to see you wrestle, though. I can see the TV promo now: ZUBE GIRL SMACKDOWN!

PaintingChef said...

I am an EXCELLENT ice skater. I was in the Junior Olympics. I'll totally teach you so you can tell Zube Boy to SUCK IT!

Anduin said...

You should totally do the wrestling thing. That way, when good ole Zube Boy gets out of hand you can lay the Smackdown on his ass.

I was a HUGE WWE fan when the Rock had his heyday on Smackdown. HUGE fan. The Rock still rules.

Phil said...

Oh, but see, here's the beautiful thing that Zube Boy is overlooking. You can be both, at the same time even! You can join the WWF (or WWE or WCW or whatever the hell they're called this year) as "The Referee" . . . you can have the hockey ref uniform, complete with skates (which, of course, you'd never use against your opponent . . . at least, not while the other referee is looking). And of course, you'd never have the wrestling refs show you any special treatment as "professional courtesy" or anything . . .

Phil
http://nomadechoes.blogdrive.com

Zube Girl said...

Storm- Seriously, I SO want to wear one of those cute outfits and kick ass. I need to go to the gym.

Bonanza- I am GREAT at making shit up as I go, so I think the hockey referee gig is not completely out of the picture.

PaintingChef- Could we be drunk while I'm learning to ice skate? I learn shit better when I'm a teeny inebriated. And plus, then I won't get all embarrassed if I fall.

Anduin- Hee. I've never been able to get into it, but I STILL think I would be good at it.

Phil- I'm taking notes so that tonight I can sit down with Zube Boy and discuss our future.

Crazy Lady said...

Ok, so you don't know how to skate. But can you wrestle? I think you should ambush Zube Boy when he gets home tonight and pratice your moves on him. 'Cause if you are going to well, you need to pratice. And if he has to be part of the smackdown, then so be it! All part of being the supportive husband.

lysie6211 said...

Ice skating isn't that hard. So why not do both. You join the WWF though and you can always kick Zube Boy's ass.

Doggie Extraordinaire's Mom said...

Okay, so I'm giggling and shit all through your post, and not for obvious reasons. The WWF had to change their name (and I know this because I dated a Jerry-Springer/wrestling-lovin' guy who taught me all about how to be stupid) because the "WWF" acronym belongs to the World Wildlife Fund. So, I'm reading that you want to be a World Wildlife Fund wrestler and giggling about the application. Would you wrestle wildlife? Or the poachers who threaten wildlife? I'm thoroughly enjoying the concept of you stalking a poacher, using your spy rolls and kicking their guns out of their hands. Then you pop up and in your best, deepest wrestler voice you say, "Nobody poaches in my ring!" and you procede to kick the ever-lovin' shit out of the poachers, bashing their heads into trees and stuff.

You're my hero.

Zube Girl said...

Crazy Lady- Ah, the joys of marriage. It's all about support. Hee.

Lysie- Can I kick him with my ice skates on? Nah. I actually feel kind of bad because yesterday I dropped kitty on his party boys. I'll give him a day of rest.

Librarian- Well, see! How am I supposed to be a wrestler if I don't even KNOW what the organization is called. Your imagery had me laughing. Seriously.

Amy said...

LOL - I just love how Zube Boy is all supportive and interested in seeing you grow as an individual. ;o)

Chickie said...

One vote here for the wrestler "The Referee"

kyknoord said...

Definitely wrestling. You'll be able to take your opponents down with trash-talk, before you even step in the ring.

Courtney said...

You know what I'm going to say. Hockey ref! Bonanza's right, it's all bogus calls anyway. :)

mothergoosemouse said...

Is "American Gladiators" still on the air? You could train for that.

 

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