Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Pissy Pom-Poms, and Yeah, I Was a Cheerleader...Stop Laughing!

Dear Jesse*,

So, like, remember that time after, I think it was a pep rally or something, when you were all freaking out and shit and yelling, "What the fuck?!?!" because all of the sudden your pom-poms smelled like piss? I know it was almost sixteen years ago, but I wanted to say I'm sorry. See, it wasn't really a bizarre accident. I switched our pom-poms while you weren't looking because I'd just gotten a new kitten who, well, you can guess.

Anyway, I was thinking about this for some reason the other day, and decided I should feel bad. It's just that I kind of thought you were a fucking bitch, so I didn't really mind pawning the pissy pom-poms off on you. And? You were such a dramatic person, I figured it would be fun for all to watch you throw a hissy fit. And it kind of was. Plus, you're fucking loopty loop bangs made me and my flat, staticky hair having in the fucking 80's ass jealous as all hell.

I do wonder how you ever got that smell out. I know I tried for-fucking-ever to do it. Well, yeah...Sorry.

Sincerely,

Zube

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

12 Leg Humps:

Storm said...

Wahahahaha

I can totally see you as a cheeleader--the blond pigtails in all of you pictures is a dead give away.

And as for the bitchiness that happened sixteen years ago? I bet she fucking deserved it.

junebee said...

I simply cannot believe you were EVER a cheerleader. I picture you as one of the kids hanging out by the Dumpster soming cigarettes (I know, you don't smoke. But the imagery just MATCHES so well!).

Cat Piss Pompoms would be a good name for a grunge band.

Phil said...

All cheerleaders are bitches, aren't they? :D

And why'd you leave your pom-poms under your pissing pussy? That wasn't very smart. (hehe, I so enjoy putting good search engine feeders on Zube's site)

Phil
Echoes in a Nomad's Head

txsm said...

I can't wait to see what google searches bring people to this post! LOL! I was never the cheerleader type, I was told to try out...instead, I did the Flag Corp thing...you know...this one time at Band Camp......hee!

Lisa said...

I think I might have to agree with Junebee on what kind of kid I would have classified you as! NOT cheerleader! No offense.. lol

Blech. Cat pee is THE worst.

Bonanza Jellybean said...

Hee hee. I saw a girl pee on the girl holding up her up doing a mount at cheerleading camp one year because she was scared of heights. Funny how piss and cheerleading seem related...

Gary said...

Pissy Pom Pom. Kind of has a ring to it. You could make a cheer out of it: Pissy Pom Pompom... Pissy Pom Pompom....

mothergoosemouse said...

Oh. My. God. I wasn't the one with the pissy poms, but my friend Jen was, and I'm so thankful she never tried to switch with me. I would have known it was her though, and we would have switched right back.

And I will say the same thing to you that we always said to each other: May you drop your curling iron into a kitty-scented pom.

lysie6211 said...

That's hillarious!! You should send her some UrineGone.

Amy said...

Geez... there's another thing we have in common, cheerleading. Wow... that was a million years ago, or so it seems.

You have to consider that she probably had the pissy pom poms coming... you just happened to be the source that brought that particular karmic circle to a close.
;o)

Al said...

Too funny! Thanks Zube, I knew I could count on you for a laugh after a shitty day!

Yeah, I agree with those above that said she probably deserved it. Also, i can't picture you as a cheerleader either. I would've guessed you were like one of the 'freaks' from Freaks and Geeks!

Barbara said...

Zube Girl - Is there anything you won't write about it? You are courageous.

 

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