Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Big Ideas

If I were a giant, I think I'd want to be three stories tall at the most. I mean, anything more than that just seems obscene, you know? And, I'd probably want to live in New York City. That would be the best fucking place to live if you're a giant. Seriously. I wouldn't have to hurt my back bending over all the time to talk to people. I could just hang out by their windows.

I'd have a t-shirt made special for me with the slogan "I'll only be your friend if you live or work on the third floor." Actually, I think I might have a t-shirt like that made anyway. Because I think it would be funny when people read it and got that "What the Fuck?" look on their face. Heh.

Really, though, I'd rather be super tiny and live in a dollhouse than be a giant.

Either way, I still wouldn't wear a bullet-proof vest if I had one.

15 Leg Humps:

Chickie said...

I'd rather be super tiny. They have some kick ass stuff for those dollhouses.

And I don't wanna see what my thighs would look like if I were 3 stories tall.

Amy said...

I agree with Chickie... and since we are fantasizing, I say that if you are miniaturized it automatically shrinks all the parts that you want shrunk. ;o) Thus, all tiny people are skinny, happy people!

Crazy Lady said...

That was so Deep Thoughts of Jack Handy from Saturday Night Live. I love it! And I would much rather be tiny. You could live in a mansion and it would only cost a couple hundred bucks to buy. And think of how small your grocery bill would be. An apple could feed you for a week!

Bonanza Jellybean said...

If you were tny, think how cheap it would also be to drink... and all of the conversations you could eavesdrop on because they didn't see you...

Yep, tiny gets my vote. Of course, if I was really pissed, I'd want to a giant... maybe they should do it so you could switch at will. :)

Phil said...

Oh, but just think about trying to take an aspirin if you were tiny . . . it'd be as big as your head. And what if you have to get a shot from the doctor? Can you imagine getting stuck with a syringe as big as you!?! And oh crap, what if you came face to face with a spider?

I'd definitely go big. Sure, it'd be more expensive. But I bet a giant would probably have a bunch of people always hanging around and willing to pitch in financially to help you out. Plus you could probably make a bundle rescuing cats from trees and stuff.

Phil
Echoes in a Nomad's Head

zazzafooky said...

Ok.... please tell me where I can buy that t-shirt 'cause dammit, I must have one! :-)

Amy said...

I think Zube just found a good reason to open a CafePress shop!!

junebee said...

But would you be jolly and green?

Crazy Like A Fox said...

Oh I definitely would go for being tiny. I feel too much like a giant now. I would rather be small and dainty.

Lisa said...

yeah like what could even possibly GO with a bullet proof vest??? As if...

mothergoosemouse said...

Third floor? You're a midget giant, aren't you?

Gretchen said...

Drink me

Eat me

Mind out of the gutter. I was referring to Alice in Wonderland.

Gary said...

If you were a giant, does that mean your scar would be ten times as big as it is now?

Spookie the Warrior said...

Yea, tiny is definitely cooler - like Stuart Little, only I would like to be person - not a mouse. I used to dream about living in my doll house when I was a kid.

Oh and by the way - it's me Banquo, check it out - I started blogging!!

Debi said...

I think I'd like to be tiny...cause then you could sneak around a lot easier...and I would be good at being sneaky...I mean who doesn't wanna be sneaky? Do they make bullet proof vests that small??

 

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