Thursday, February 02, 2006

Go Grow a Dick, Asshole.

*This is what I thought*
This is what I said.

Ring-Ring!

Z-Girl: Guest services.

Señor Cockholio: WHY has the housekeeper not been here yet?

Z-Girl: Um, hello! *I hate when people don't even fucking say hello.* I'll have to check with housekeeping, but I know that the housekeepers are cleaning new arrival rooms right now and then after they'll be doing midweeks.

Señor Cockholio: Well, this is JUST WRONG! Why couldn't they clean while we were skiing? We've been gone all day. I don't want to be here while the room is being cleaned! We wanted to return from skiing to a nice clean room. This is horrible!

Z-Girl: Sir, really though, we had no way of knowing that you wanted your room cleaned before you returned from skiing. If you had called us and let us know you would return from skiing at 2:30 and you would like your room cleaned before then, we may have been able to accomadate you. Did you KNOW you'd be back at 2:30? Most people don't return from the slopes until 4:30. *You fucking wussy!*

Señor Cockholio: This is AWFUL!

Z-Girl: I'm sorry. *Haha! I must be right 'cause you got NOTHIN' bitch!*

Señor Cockholio: I can't believe this.

Z-Girl: Sorry. *Dude, get a fucking grip!*

Click

God, I fucking HATE IT when our psychic calls out. I mean, how else are we just SUPPOSED TO KNOW what people want, you know?

And when I tell you, this man's voice was QUIVERING with ANGER. He didn't use foul language, unfortunately, because then I could have hung up on him, but he was LIVID. Freaked me out. I actually had to take a walk to cool off after our conversation. It sounded like he was going to reach through the phone and throttle me. I kind of love that shit, though. Because I get all DISGUSTINGLY SWEET. Heh. Pisses 'em off even more.

20 Leg Humps:

banquo said...

He's probably a total SLOB and expects people to clean up after him all the time.

And I dont mean just clean the room, I mean - like a child - put away his toothpaste, pick up his clothes, and other icky stuff. So it serves him right - SLOB!!!! Hope he heard me.

Here in S.A we say people like that have got SlumBum - too lazy or disgustung to do anything for themselves - SLUMBUM!!! hope he heard that too.

wallofdenial said...

You evil girl, We all know how much you enjoy telling people they are fucked.

Being in customer service myself,,It is allways fun to let them hang themselves and then have the terrible duty of bringing it to thier attention

nelle said...

Wow....some people really lack perspective, you know? It's really quite amazing sometimes.

Vic said...

I know, I know...
Lets add a session to the conference...
"How to read assholes minds and give them exactly what they want even when they have no freakin' clue"
No...
"How to get even with assholes that want you read their minds and where to hide the bodies..."
Ok, I'm done now. Can you tell I've had a similar morning?
Smile and wave dear, smile and wave

RisibleGirl said...

"Senor Cockholio" *snort*

I'll bet that when he stays in a hotel, that's the only time he has a clean room.

What a freak.

Lisa said...

gah! I bet his wife hates him. What if the house is dirty when he get home?!? OH NO!

Phil said...

Oh, how I wish I had the talent of becoming disgustingly sweet in the face of these buttholes. You can't imagine the number of turds who call up all pissed off right out of the gate that you have to talk to when you work a call center, like I used to. Thing is, I would always put up with cursing even though company policy said I could hang up on 'em if they did (I'd only hang up on them if they directed the cursing specifically at me . . . like a "you c*cksucker!" or something). Co-workers & supervisors were always amazed that I put up with it. But y'know, I found that when they were spewing out general profanities, they were actually easier to deal with . . . let 'em vent, be empathetic, and they'll calm down once you demonstrate you're actually trying to help them. The ones who don't cuss are the ones who won't let you help them, because they're too focussed on their own anger. And unfortunately, when someone doesn't want to accept my help, I tend to tone them out, which means I start sounding like Al Gore on the phone, which pisses them off more. But not enough to push them into the venting curser. Just enough to demand to speak with my supervisor. lol

Phil
Echoes in a Nomad's Head

Crazy Lady said...

Stupid man. Maybe if he picked up after his stupid self, his room would not be so nasty. I mean really, if he does not want to pick up his crusty underwear, why should he think that housekeeping wants to?

Debi said...

I hope he breaks a leg on the slopes next time...I hate people who just expect you to read their minds just because you are in customer service doesn't mean they get to treat you like crap!

Tessa said...

Oh yea-ah!

Turning up the sweetness to sickening levels ALWAYS did the trick for me when I was in customer service, but it does take incredible restraint not to match their sour tone and ugly attitude.

Love these posts.

junebee said...

I bet he left the "Do Not Disturb" sign on his door while he went skiing, Thus, housekeeping passed him right by, thinking he was sleeping.

lysie6211 said...

Having 10+ years of customer service under my belt I always kill 'em with kindness...drives them even battier. hehehe

Happy Villain said...

There comes a point in dealing with customers (patrons) when the kindness takes on a new tone and when you call them Sir or Ma'am, it sounds a lot like Asshole and Cunt. Also, I've learned from one coworker to say, "Have a nice day!" to the people who piss me off most, and with just enough sweetness to let them know it's my way of giving them the finger and saying they didn't ruin my day.

It's an art! Not dealing with customers, but not doing anything wrong and still letting them know how you feel. You, obviously, are an artist as well!

Amy said...

I just saw this thing on the Today show where they had people go undercover to "test" customer service.

I have to ask myself, is it that Customer Service is REALLY that bad OR is it that the customers have turned into such shitty little assholes that it would be IMPOSSIBLE to satisfy them anyway and thus the Customer Service people just let out a big ol' sigh and say "Fuck it!"

I once worked at a pharmacy where I was told to expect everyone who came in to be a complete and utter asshole because they were sick (usually) and wanted their meds.

Truth be told... the sick people weren't the problem. It was the people who came in (basically healthy) to get their routine meds (birth control, etc.) who were complete jerks. Imagine that, hmmm?

Chickie said...

I like it when people I'm talking to get so angry that they start to spit and sputter onto the phone. That's when I turn on my charm.

courtney said...

I used to work at a call center for T-Mobile. The financial care dept- people got me when their phones got turned off and they went to make a phone call, not realizing it yet.

Yeah, there were some gems in that job. Like the time this lady was so mad she threatened to take me to go see Judge Judy... or the guy who wanted to send his local news crimestoppers crew after me...

People are so touchy.

kyknoord said...

Following on from some of the comments above: "Thank goodness you're back! The people from housekeeping were in your room earlier, but it was in such a state, they were concerned it had been ransacked and so we called the police. Oh look, they've just arrived. What do you want me to tell them?"

Gary said...

Can you just imagine what it would be like living with that guy. I feel sorry for his wife. And all his former wives too.

Rich | Championable said...

I had a situation with a semi-client a couple weeks ago where they were being so rude I just couldn't deal. The kind of rude where, when you are trying to explain yourself, they start laughing at you and saying "Rich.... Rich.... Rich..." over and over.

So I quietly hung up the phone on them. No cursing, no slam. Just... click.

mothergoosemouse said...

You're completely right. Best approach is just to remain polite and not bend to their ridiculous demands. Don't let 'em bait you.

And it was a MAN who got his panties in a knot over not having the room cleaned yet? JFC, get a grip. Maybe you can get your wife to clean up after you, you poor baby.

 

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