Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Something Smells Funny

I've been lounging on the couch reading a book and eating Starburst for the last hour. It's kind of nice. It must've looked kind of nice, too, because three cats decided to join me. The only problem is, I got kind of carried away in my own little world and started farting without giving it a second thought. And now, Jesus H! Now the living room stinks like the bowels of hell and Zube Boy is due home any minute. And I'm not sure if the cats are just in a REALLY deep sleep, or, uh, comatose. Oh yeah, and the dog's sleeping in the hallway instead of on his bed in the living room. If that tells you anything.

Well, I'm off to light some candles that will hopefully dissipate the Ass-Rot that is currently wafting through our living quarters. I think the odds that I'll get any nookie tonight are slim to nil.

16 Leg Humps:

Bonanza Jellybean said...

BLAME IT ON THE DOG.

That's why we have dogs, right? :)

Kylei said...

feebreze while you still can!

junebee said...

Ack! Don't light candles, that could blow up the whole Zubehome! Cats and all! Dogs in halls! A big fireball!

You've been pretty quiet on the South Dakota anti-abortion law.

lysie6211 said...

Oust works rather nicely. LOL!!

LaLa Lisa said...

Haha! Yeah, um...I was having the same problem with my um..dog...today. Yep, that's it! Darn dog! :)

Storm said...

heheh. If it's as bad as it sounds, you might be lucky to get any nookie for the next few nights.

Phil said...

Okay, here's what you do. Just as Zube Boy is coming home, start wandering around the living room sniffing the air with a quizzical look on your face (don't inhale too strong, though, from the sounds of things). Then, after he walks in, look at him and say "Do you smell that? I think something died in the walls, or under the house or something. It's been smelling like shit all day, and it's driving me nuts." He'll look around, not find anything, but by the time he gives up, the farts will have disipated (crack a window if need be). So, you can act all gratefull and declare him a hero for getting rid of the dead buffalo ass smell, which will get him feeling all macho, which in turn will lead to nookie. Damn, I'm a friggin' genius.

Phil
Echoes in a Nomad's Head

Mr. Fabulous said...

That is a lovely, heartwarming story! I feel we have shared a Hallmark moment LOL

nelle said...

Incense works better than candles for covering up those not so pretty smells!

PaintingChef said...

I've recently bought some of those Glade Scented Oil candles and those dissipate Ass-Rot like a CHAMP!

Plunky said...

OMG! I just came over here from Chattys and I think I just totally peed my pants! Hysterical! I thought dogs liked Ass-Rot? Oh, um, maybe that's just mine...

Spookie the Warrior said...

Here Boy, here kitty kitty! - get outa there quick - before she craps on you all!!

Gary said...

Since you seem like an expert, what is your favorite candle scent to cover up ass rot? :)

GeminiWisdom said...

LMAO. Oh God. I'm at work right now. You don't know much I wish I could laff out loud at this. Thank you. I needed a good laff today, too.

Ginamonster said...

Just explain to him, if he asks, that your friend Fartina came by for a chat, and you know she eats a lot of garlic and spicy food so she leaves behind an odor...

Melanie said...

I am pretty sure farting doesn't keep man from nookie.

 

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