Saturday, April 08, 2006

B Flat...I Mean, the Tire Be Flat...

Z-Boy: Honey, you HAVE to learn.

Z-Girl: Yeah, I know. But NOW?

Z-Boy: Yes, now. Better now than never.

Z-Girl: But all of these truckers are going to think you're mean making a girl do it.

Z-Boy: Nope. They'll all know that I don't want my wife kidnapped or some other crazy shit because she didn't know how to change a tire.

Z-Girl: But can't you just teach me at home in the driveway.

Z-Boy: Nope. Now's perfect.

***************************************************

Z-Girl: WAAAAAAAH! It's HEAVY!

Z-Boy: I know.

Z-Girl: My hands are FILTHY!

Z-Boy: *silence*

Z-Girl: Oh shoot! Honey! There go your eyeballs! I think they might've just rolled right out of your head. Let me go get them while, uh, you change this tire over here.

****************************************************



The whinng? It worked.

In my defense, it was a LONG day. And it was my turn to drive and driving I'd been. For about five hours. And, um...uh...hm...

Shit. Well, his intentions were noble, but I was a whiney bitch.

We're home. Thank fucking GODDESS! I feel, well, a HELL of a lot better. Sincerely. But then again, I haven't been to work yet.

And, as far as the Anonymous commenter, more on that when I don't have Been in a Car for Sixteen Hours Brain. I want to thank you ALL for your comments. I also want to assure you that I am NOT upset about it whatsoever. I'm more in a tizzy about the pimple on my cheek that no amount of toothpaste liberally plastered on my face will get rid of. Actually, that's not a fair comparison, because I TOTALLY upset about that stupid pimple. SO fucking upset that I'm forgetting important verbs. Like AM. Does I TOTALLY upset not sum it up for you?

Anyway. Stupid anonymous people? I don't so much care about.

Ah yes, and Phil? The Wendover suggestion? Perfect! Thank you! I only wish we weren't too tired to play a few hands of Black Jack!

16 Leg Humps:

Storm said...

wow. I'm shocked (SHOCKED, I tell you), that you didn't already know how to change a tire. And.... I would MUCH rather learn how to do so in the driveway than on the side of the road. And... Cheek pimples suck.

Phil said...

OMG! So little miss kick ass, independant, gnome killing, rough & tough, New Jersey girl doesn't know how to chang a tire? It's . . . I'm . . . what? . . . how can this be? Oh yeah, I forgot about the whiney bitch part. Duh! ;)

Glad you had fun. Though I'm still trying to figure out why in the heck Zube Boy made a point of going snow boarding, considering you live in a ski town!! You'd think he'd get enough of it at home, and not worry about it on vacation . . .

Phil
Echoes in a Nomad's Head

Lisa said...

yay for whining! Changing a flat sucks. I had to do it once, and I cried the entire time. (yeah I'm kind of a princessy baby sometimes...)

Anduin said...

Yay, you're back! Missed you while you were out, but thanks for the guest writer. She was good. Hope it was a fun filled trip and all that you needed it to be. Hey, good job on getting out of changing that tire. What was Zube Boy thinking? Women don't do stuff like that. That's what men are for. Hello....

Phil said...

Oh, and too tired to play Black Jack!?! Too drunk, I can understand. But you can never be too tired to play Black Jack. That's just crazy talk. ;)

junebee said...

Oh, I got the change-the-tire lesson from my stepbrother in the parking lot of a convenience store in the July heat in Florida! First he changed the tire, explaining all along what he was doing.

THEN - he TOOK the TIRE off! And made me do it! Car involved: 1970 Cadillac Convertible. Red. Like my face.

But I sure learned to change a tire, now didn't I?

Glad you made it home safe and hope you had a good trip.

Chickie said...

To be on the safe side (if you get a flat) you should just put a blanket over yourself and hide on the floorboard, with the doors locked, until someone can rescue you. That's how I change flat tires.

Samantha said...

My mom made me learn when I decided to go 4x4ing in her escort and came home with a flat. (It went flat about 10 damn feet from the house) She said I couldn't take the car out again until I changed the tire. It's just not right, I tell you!

Oh, and does that toothpaste thing work? I've never heard of that before.

Spookie the Warrior said...

Hee - I cant change a tire either! My hubby does it - he may just die laughing at me if I tried, heh. Then again, I would die laughing at me too.

justdawn said...

Welcome home, zube!

My Dad made me learn to change a tire before I could get my driver's license! heh

RisibleGirl said...

Didja have to bring up Wendover? That's where I married my ex-husband.

Blech.

Ginamonster said...

I declared myself a real woman the day I changed a tire all by myself. Didn't want to wait for help, felt like I needed to know how and hey! there's no time like the present! I had an excellent coach and felt very accomplished after. I'm sure you will too when you do it.

ps. I started the tire changing fun in a skirt and pumps (then I remembered my gym clothes in the car). you totally could have done it.

angel said...

had to giggle zube, it was the first thing my dad taught me when i bought my first car!

txsm said...

LOL! When I got my license and first car, once a month, without warning, my Dad would get up off the couch and look at me and say, "Time to change your tire!", or "Let's get to changing your oil!"....I hated my Dad for that, but now, who needs Gomer, I can do it myself....but, I let Gomer so he feels like a man....hee!

Oh, and Gomer said, if he had seen you having to change your tire and Zube boy wasn't helping, he would have stopped to help....there are some good truckers out there....mine being one of them!:)

mothergoosemouse said...

I can't change a tire either. But then again I'm a prissy city girl who rides in taxis.

Bizarre Journali said...

Forget the toothpaste! Try Queen Helene's Mint Julep face mask for zits. It's sold at CVS and Sally Beauty Supply here, and sometimes other drugstores too. It's cheap and it really does help (don't be afraid of the ghetto packaging).

 

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