Thursday, April 06, 2006

I Don't Know Everything, But I Know How Not to Be a Dick...

Because sometimes I think it's important to let yourself be defended...It helps negate the "One Girl Versus the World" Feeling...And you guys, at least those of you I know about, aren't on vacation. So, I don't mind making you work.

Your assignment today is to respond to this comment which can be found on this post:

For someone with no guilt, you sure threw into a tirade about how not guilty you feel really quick. I didn't think you felt guilty, but now I'm starting to wonder.

I am sorry for your losses. Because I recognize that what you lost were human beings with worth. You just lost something that you wanted. You call them 'pregnancies' and not babies. You aborted one 'pregnancy' and lost others. I know you didn't lose or abort 'pregnancies', but babies. That's just a euphemism.

I am not sorry for the focus of your "pity party post". The "Why me? I had to go through the trouble of killing my first kid and now that I want kids, I can't have any." How sad and selfish is that? You only want kids on your terms. It's all about you. Maybe you'll have some empathy for the infertile couples that would have gratefully adopted your baby that you instead aborted.

Maybe your killing your first baby has nothing to do with you losing the subsequent ones, but I don't pity you.

I am sorry for your losses. I wish your children would have lived. ALL of them.

--
Posted by Anonymous to The Adventures of Zube Girl at 4/06/2006 02:29:12 PM


And don't you worry, I haven't lost my edge or anything. I'm simply about to embark on a vacation nap with the man I WANT to have children with and presently have NO interest in confronting ANONYMOUS dipshits.

Your turn. Even, and I know you're out there, Pro-Life folks who read me and understand me. I've never, ever, ever, ever insulted you. EVER! I've been careful to insult only the most assholey people. And there are assholey people everywhere. Among the Pro-Choice camp, too, I'm sure. So, can we build a bridge or something that makes us both appear a little more human? Please? Thanks.

36 Leg Humps:

Storm said...

What. An. Asshole.

Seriously? Yes, it fucking has to be on your terms, because who the FUCK would not want to take care of themselves FIRST? Taking care of ones own needs before the needs of someone else--child, parent, or significant other included--is not SELFISH, it's RESPONSIBLE. If you don't do what you need to do to take care of yourself, you are doing everyone else a DISSERVICE, because not only are you setting a bad example by allowing others to come before you, but you also can NOT take care of someone when YOU are in a bad situation, be it mentally, emotionally, or otherwise.

ANONYMOUS? You are an asswipe. And you read too much into things in order to fulfill your self-serving, selfish views. Grow some fucking balls and post your god damn identity.

ZG? Hope you're having a blast!

Crazy Lady said...

Anonymous - If you don't like what Zube has to say, don't read her blog. Attacking a person who has the courage to show her pain is wrong. It is like kicking a person who is down; you only do it if you lack the morals to know it is wrong.
Everyone I know who is Pro-Life is also Christian. It stands to reason that you would call yourself a Christian also. So am I. But MY God is a god of mercy and forgivness, not a vengeful god who would condone your hateful words and spiteful behavior. It is people like you, who have the millitant, holier-than-thou behaviors who will have way more to answer to than a girl who was brutally raped and made the only decision she could cope with at the time.

Zube, it maybe time to take off the anonymous option on the comments. Then this spiteful, nasty, worm will either be silenced or or forced to take responsiblity for his/her words.

Vulgar Wizard said...

I understand that everyone has the right to their own opinion; however, I do not feel that means they have the right to attack someone. This comment seems to have come from the fingers of a woman who cannot conceive a child and is having trouble adopting. She read your post and immediately became enraged at the fact that, however many years ago it happened, you aborted a fetus that she could have raised? If that is in fact the case, endulge me for a moment...

Uhm, no, that's not what happened. Zube did not kill YOUR child or prevent you from adopting, so lay the fuck off. She's in just as much pain about how she became pregnant and how she became not pregnant as you are about your difficulties in becoming a parent. She's not asking you to pitty her, and she's not asking you to attack her. If she thought she could have lived with the feelings of carrying the child of the man who raped her through birth, she would have. She did what she felt she had to do. Can you honestly say that had you been in her shoes you definitely would have made a different choice? No, because it didn't happen to you. Don't attack other victims, lady (or man or whatever you might be).

Now, I'll go read the other comments about the mean comment...

Kylei said...

At one point in my life I felt just like you anonymous - then I too had an abortion and that choice took me to the depths of hell unlike anyother I had ever known. To hate your self and believe you have no self worth hurts but to believe you killed and hurt your own child. Thats somthing noone should ever have shoved down thier throat. I can honestly tell you Anonymous the it was heartless people like you that almost killed me, So maybe if you CARE so fucking much about babies and youth you should hold your tongue and shut the fuck up. I just pray that thier isn't some teenage girl out there reading this hearing your words saying you know she right I am a killer and I killed my own child,Trust me they will jump from that thought to I shouldn't be alive right now really quick.In my cold unloving mind (as you would like me to be) that puts thier blood on your hands.
on a side note I am guessing by the way the anonymous only talks of very recient post s/he did not take the time to learn a GOD damn thing about you Zube. You have tought me so much with out ever knowing me- I wish I could make everything better for you and that I was better with words to show this person just how hurtful they are being not to just you but to anyone who happens apon this blog. The fact that anyone thinks it is ok to freely try an kick people down for somthing makes me sick.

junebee said...

Well, geez, everyone else did such a good job on this I can't think of a thing to add. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY has the right to criticize someone for a decision she made as a result of a violent, tragic situation regardless of what else she experiences later in life.

And for cryin' in a bucket, it's Zubegirl's blog. If ya don't like it, then leave. Start your own damn blog with your own opinions. Sheesh.

I need a beer.

LaLa Lisa said...

I would hope that Anonymous would not call themselves a Christian. If this person does they are seriously deluding themselves. If they knew anything about God or the bible, they would realize that we're all sinners and as such none of us have the right to judge the sins of another. (Let the man who has not sinned be the first to the cast the stone.) I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that you're not entitled to be doing any stone throwing. So shut it!

Even if you're an atheist or some other religion, anyone who is a decent human being, would have compassion for Zube and admire the strength and courage she's shown. She went through one of the worst experiences a woman can ever endure and not only did she survive physically, but emotionally and mentally as well. And she didn't go and sit in a corner and lick her wounds. She's out there speaking for the thousands of victims who are too scared or ashamed too. She's giving a human face to something that is all too often rattled off as just another statistic.

Abortion is never a good option, but it is at times the right one for a person. That doesn't mean they never regret it or they don't wish that circumstances could be different, but sometimes we find ourselves in a situation where it does seem like the right answer. No one comes to that decision lightly and thus when then do decide it is right for them, that decision should be respected.

Let's hope Anonymous is never in a situation where they require the support and compassion of strangers because karma is a bitch baby. And you have tons of bad karma heading your way.

Erin said...

For God's sake... the only reason to hide behind "anonymity" is because you don't actually believe what you write. You really aren't worth the attention that's already been shown you Mr/Ms Pot Stirrer.

Al said...

Fuck off!!

not you Zube, that's for anonymous.

I, unlike Zube Girl, am a dick and I don't have the time to put anymore thought into responding to bullshit

Lindy said...

I ... can't believe someone would actually write what Anonymous wrote. What a smug, self-righteous, cruel person.

Good job, Anonymous. You've given Pro-Lifers a black eye among people you might have taught to respect them a bit.

Karen said...

Darlin', and I know this is very hard to do, but when anonymous chicken shit assholes leave comments like that, you need to try to remember why they are doing it anonymously. They are afraid of you. Of whomever they are passing judgment on, because they see you doing what is right for you and standing up for, and exercising your rights, while they are doing what is right for those around them, toeing the "line" and being extremely miserable in the process. So, when they come across strong women who can think for themselves, they lash out in jealousy. That's all it is. And yeah, I know it still sucks, and it does hurt to have someone spew that filth. But please know that you are a strong woman, and you have a fantastic life that they envy.
Now, go have a great vacation and a margarita for me! :)

Happy Villain said...

I don't think it's envy or jealousy that inspires behavior like that: it's self-hatred. Anonymous has issues with morals, probably feels guilty for his/her own "immoral" behavior (and who has any clue what "moral" standard they're using), and tries to inflict his/her judgment on innocent strangers. It's so much easier than looking in the mirror. The hypocricy is so obvious. How could someone love the unborn fetus because it has feelings and is human, but hate the woman who ended her pregnancy who doesn't have feelings and isn't human? That's so very Republican: save all the fetuses so we can hate and kill them later. They're thinking, I love babies, I love fetuses, I love little eggs and little sperm and all the pure and good parts of reproduction. But deeper in that statement is a hatred for your sexuality, a hatred for your gender, a hatred for the opposite gender, and a hatred of yourself. I'd even venture a guess that it's a hatred for your maker as well. Anonymous is more concerned with making people miserable who dare to try to find their way in the world, than he/she is with turning his/her own miserable existence into something worth hanging onto.

Fuck you, Anonymous! I see right through you and you are a pathetic, spiteful, hateful thing, who I might have felt sorry for once upon a time, but now you're not even worth that.

Chickie said...

Wow, Anonymous, after reading your comment I've totally changed my mind about abortion!

Wait, no I haven't.

Surely you have something better to do than clutter up the internet? Maybe play in traffic? Dumbass.

Rich | Championable said...

Wow, I really disagree with many of the comments here:

Storm: No. Having kids is definitely NOT on the adults terms. And no, the adult's needs do NOT always come before the kids's needs. Maybe the tming of the pregnancy is up to the adult (and that isn't always true, either), but raising the children is not a "grownups first" proposition. Ask any parent. You have to take care of yourself, sure, but you have to chill on a whole lot of your personal ambitions, hobbies, goals, dreams, etc. Or change them.

Crazy Lazy and others - anyone who tells a poster "if you don't like it, leave" is failing to understand blogging. If you only want nice people to post, then you have to moderate your blog or make it private, you know? Vile comments are part of the mix.

Erin - there are lots of reasons to hide behind anonymity. One reason is to not be associated with a blog with which you strongly disagree... or because of Google's intralinking algorithm which will forever associate your blogger account with that post. Lots of bloggers (such as me) don't advertise their identities. You know?

With that all said...

Anonymous: The problem with what you said is twofold. One, of course, is the tenor. If you aren't going to make a point in a way that allows for discussion, then you're just going to be dismissed. If your goal is to incense, then clearly you accomplished that. If your goal was to discuss or persuade, then clearly you failed. The second is problem with your position is that it goes against science. I don't know when this pregnancy was terminated, but my guess if it was within the range of nearly all other abortions, then what you had there was a human fetus without the synaptic connections to feel pain, think, etc. You have not killed a person. You have killed what would have become a person, but absolutely was not. This is a huge, huge difference. Think on it.

Rock on.

PaintingChef said...

Damn Zube. The internet is becoming so cluttered with anonymous assholes. What a waste of fucking space those people are.

nelle said...

Your last paragraph is beautiful. That is what needs to happen.
I read an article that was trying to explain to the British how passionate the abortion debate is in America. (I am an American living in London). There was nothing to compare it to here. The writer had went to America and set out to meet people on both sides and see if there was any middle ground. She tried to seek out those who seemed more rational and less fanatical. She found this difficult, and the most striking thing she noticed was that absolute lack of middle ground. The 2 sides are completely entrenched and no longer listening. A bridge needs to be built, and you have just written exactly how this process could begin. With a little bit of respect.

dickens said...

At least have the balls to sign your name, Anonymous.
It takes a true coward to attack someone who is down, to deride them for past choices, to adopt a holier-than-thou attitude. What possible gain is there to you to write this nasty, vindictive post? Have you taken the time to read the entire story? Do you really expect a teenager to bear the child of a rapist? What kind of sadistic coward are you?

wyogirl said...

The pro-life movement doesn't know what to do with women who don't follow the script. They need you to be one of two things, a victim or a selfish, slutty bitch:

1) A victim of the big, bad abortion industry, or the people around you who "pressured" you into making this decision. Gosh YOU never would have made such a horrible decision, right? No one told you what your embryo/fetus looked like! (Look it up, gals -- it's in every encyclopedia...) Gosh, NOW, you have to make it your mission to make sure NO other woman suffers the loss of a baby through abortion, right. (Well... ummm... no.)

2) Slut. Bitch. Thinking only of yourself. You thought no more of getting an abortion than you would of clipping your nails. (WEll... ummmm... no again. I have NEVER known a woman who has not thought deeply about wehther to get an abortion.)

See, Zube, you refused to be the first, so now anonymous has to firmly pigeonhole you in the second category. There is no room in the mythos for a woman who struggles with all the implications of her decision, makes a choice and maybe grieves it, but does not regret it and does not try to make that decision for others.

Victim or bitch? Well, neither. But I doubt that anonymous will get that.

Bonanza jellybean said...

Now that everyone else has been all logical and well-reasoned, I'm volunteering to open up my inner redneck and whip some ass.

It seemed the only thing left to say.
Because MAN, what an asshole.

Crazy in Colorado said...

Bonzana - I'm with you! I'm ready whip some ass too!
I agree that people have the right to think differently - that's what it's all about. And I understand the whole "Freedom of Speech" thing too.
Now - with that being said - it still pisses me the f**k off that some spiteful, "anonymous" ass, who doesn't understand the situation at all, would attack someone who is opening herself up and letting the world know her pain.
I think the majority of the people who posted comments on this issue are right and have covered all the angles.
You know - my momma always told me "if you can't say nothing nice about someone - don't say anything at all".. So I send this to your anonymous idiot === "shut the f**k up".

Zube - I hope you are enjoying your vacation! Party on!

Ginamonster said...

I have learned this:
It is impossible to truly understand why a person made any sort of choice until you have walked in their shoes. Many of us are fortunate enough not to have walked in Zube's shoes on this one. I respect her choice. I do not think she is being punished my the almighty for making that choice. Who am I to delegate punishment? Who am I to think I know what the universe has planned? The ability to give life to a creature is an amazing and magical thing. It's a great power bestowed upon us. But sometimes you have to decide whether it's for the best. it's a personal decision that no one should question. It is unfair to think you know what she should have done, you can only know what you did in the exact same situation. Because thinking you know, and knowing you know are two different things.
In a perfect world, all babies are wanted. In a perfect world, all sex is loving. this is not a perfect world.
I think it took more courage for Zubve to realize that she couldn't deal with the ramifications of someone else's actions than to think that she could handle being a single mother at such a young age. sure. Adoption was an option, but she would have had to carry that child to term and then hand it off to someone else. Another decision that would have been very difficult. And there are plenty of people who would have critisized her for it. As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "Do what you know in your heart to be right. You'll be critisized for it anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't"
Personally? I don't think Zube is damned at all. She stands behind the choice she made and encourages others to do what they think is right to. She stands up for her right to make her own choices, and shares her story openly so that other people can be encouraged by her strength.
There will always be anonymous posters who think they know how she should live her life and how things would be different for her if she had made a different choice. But it's all opinion. Unless of course God wants to respond with a reason behind the madness. If God does respond, um, God? I have a few things I'd like to discuss. for example, Cellulite. Why??

RisibleGirl said...

OH.MY.GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK, I need to get my thoughts together on this.

As Arnold says; I'll be back.

Holy shit, what an asshole.

OK- really. I'm going now.

Miss Ann Thrope said...

~sigh~

Psychobabble said...

Oh yeah, that was a horrible thing to do, you know. Deciding to wait until you were emotionally and financially prepared to raise a child, BEFORE giving birth. God, what an awful person she is.
/sarcasm

Anonymous, you're a coward. And I don't like cowards.

hoot said...

I really don't know what to say, yes everyone is entitled to your own opinion, but you know what anonymous yours really sucks.

Zubegirl look at all of these people that you have effected in so many ways and stood up for you, I think that in and of itself makes a very large statement to anonymous and that is probably why they are so upset about this to begin with.

I'm proud of you and all of the hard decisions that you have had to make in your life.

Like I've always said to you without you as my sister, I would not be the kick ass person that I am today. Love you for that.

Phil said...

I always have to laugh when some moron tries to get all self-righteous and criticise someone for something while exhibitting the exact behavior they're criticising. Chickenshit--er, I mean, Anonymous--sits there calling Zube "sad & selfish" . . . yet apparently feels that his/her own opinion is the end all, be all, only one that's right. He/she feels that everyone should agree with him/her, and that no one else's opinions, concerns or situation matters, least of all Zube's (even though she's the one that went through it). He/she uses the term "empathy" to attack Zube, and yet displays absolutely zero empathy for a woman who was impregnated by rape, and who had to make one of the most difficult decisions of her life.

Zube, be glad that this person does not pity you. He/she is the one who should be pittied . . . he/she appears to be the kind of person who can only feel good about themselves by tearing others down.

Phil
Echoes in a Nomad's Head

Nicky said...

People like that don't even deserve the courtesy of a response. They are fucking assholes and not worth the time or aggravation that they try to cause. Tell Anonymous to go piss up a rope!

Anonymous said...

Zubegirl,

I found your blog through Akeeyu's blog (you commented there).

Where to begin?

I had an abortion also, which is why I wanted to respond. I have also had to deal with dipshits like this. It is so very hard. They just don't get it, do they?

I'm heartened by the responses you've received thus far. There is compassion in the world after all.

Anyway, I want you to know that I found a support group online for women who have had an abortion. It's secular (I'm atheist, but all kinds of women with all kinds of backgrounds and faiths are there), and political discussions are not allowed. It's a nice place to go and feel supported if you haven't found one yet.

I'm going to email you the info, because I don't want Anonymous (or some other asshole) to come back and spam just about the only place I feel safe in.

mothergoosemouse said...

Zube, I support you and I don't judge you.

I don't have anything to say to Anonymous, except that you are pretty wacked if you think anyone gives a shit about whether or not you pity Zube. As you should be able to see, Zube is NOT about pity. No way, no how.

Miss I said...

Everyone has their right to their opinion, but...Guess what Anonymous? Your right wing beliefs are absurd and it's really unfortunate for progressive intellegent people these days to be overrun with folks like you who actually believe that abortions shouldn't occur with rape victims. I am still sickened by South Dakota... Zube was raped you icey bitch. She was a CHILD at the time of this tragedy against her will and she made the right decision for HER at the time with the support of her loving family. She wasn't ready for a child and had the legal right to chose that avenue. Good luck with your "god" that you have no proof of. I hope your "hell" is everything you hoped for.

Now.... Go Fuck yourself....

Sorry Zube, no chance for Mending bridges with me....... ARGGGGGGG

RisibleGirl said...

OK, I'm back.

I wasn't sure if I wanted to admit this or not, but I will. I'm doing it because, Zube, you have a pretty good idea of who I am and I'm not EVER out to hurt anyone. Well, unless they're an asshole... heh.

A long time ago, I was (or thought I was) against abortion. I'm sure it had a lot to do with the fact that i was in a very strict religion and had yet to form opinions of my own.

Even then, my personal belief was that it was ok if the mother's life was at risk or in the case of rape. Yeah- as if it's *my* place to decide. Yech- I hate even admitting I was once in that mindset.

About 7 years ago, one of my very good girlfriends came to me and told me she was pregnant, not by choice. It was an accident. She was considering an abortion.

Suddenly my brackets [only in case of mothers life at stake, or rape] were about to change.

It wasn't until my friend became pregnant and faced this situation that I was able to really think about how I felt about it.

My friend did end up having an abortion and I offered to go with her. I'd of never dreamed before this experience that I'd support, much less drive someone to have an abortion. But I did... and I learned that I really do feel that it's a woman's choice NO MATTER WHAT THE SITUATION.

I wish it hadn't of taken a friend in this situation to make me really think about this and put aside my brackets, but I'm glad that I came around.

In Zube's case? Come on!

Anonymous, you're in for a fall. People who stand on tall soapboxes and judge will someday find themselves in a position where the soapbox will crumble at their feet.

Being someone who thinks it's important to be kind to everyone, I'd like to say that I hope someone is there to comfort you. But right now? I'm not in that place.

I hope that when that lesson happens for you, anonymous, that you learn it the first time.

Gypsy said...

Riiiiight. Wanting to have kids shouldn't be on the potential parents' terms? Of course not. We should leave it up to rapists. That makes sense.

Or, hey, let's leave it up to the government because they do such a great job with everything else. Surely we can trust them with the big stuff like happy, healthy children with parents who want them. Of course we can.

Shyeah.

Courtney said...

Everybody else has been so eloquent and nice and thoughtful in their arguments. Okay, maybe not nice, but well-thought-out.

All I have to say is FUCK anonymous. What a lousy, pathetic, excuse for a human being to kick someone when they're down. I mean, seriously, you're trying to convince someone you're right and THAT's how you do it? Moron.

Zube- you rock and I'm glad you're not letting Anonom-ass get you down.

Vulgar Wizard said...

The sad thing about this whole abortion discussion is that I can't help think about this self-centered, selfish mother of two who has unprotected sex ON PURPOSE so that she will (1) get pregnant and (2) a man will marry her for it. Seriously, that's what her actions show. She has sex with EVERYBODY, and she's Fertile Myrtle, evidently, because while her second child was in the hospital with pneumonia, she drove two hours north to another hospital to abort a fetus. Nice parenting, huh? Yeah. We know of one other pregnancy she's aborted, but there's no telling how many more there were. We just found out that she's pregnant with her THIRD child by a THIRD father, and this one's asked her to marry him. So, she finally got what she wanted, but at what cost? I tell the story to people, and couples who are trying to have a child become so enraged at the fact that she could have given them a child. I just get mad at her because she's a stupid c-word and doesn't deserve the two children she has. I don't know where I was going with this....

justdawn said...

Count me in with the ass whoppers, Zube! I think that your chicken-shit anonymous commenter can just ROT!

my belle said...

OK... this is my belle.. when my sister told me about this fucking anonymous ass hole I wanted to drive my speedy car to wherever the fuck this person resides and kick their fucking ass!!!(I am small.. but when someone's furious.. this does not matter) I want to thank all of you for responding with all of your pleasant comments, she really needed to hear all of this and your support really kicks ass here sister!! all of you are great!
-and to anonymous-
you have no right to voice your opinion here.... I have taken 2 of my friends to have abortions 1 of them being 14 years old and the other living on her own at 17... I don't regret bringing them, they do not regret doing it because their situations were pretty fucked up and WE HAVE THE RIGHT TO FUCKING CHOOSE!!! and as for my sister's situation, even someone who is pro-life can not argue with this, and if you do... you have no fucking heart!!!! that's just all I can say with out offending someone with all of my words that I want to say to this person. if you can't tell us jersey girls really grew up with the truckdrivers. I lovw you big sis!! - love, My belle

jess said...

People are so awesome! Just... not all the time. Sorry about the trollery, but you seem to have a pretty vocal support system so I'll leave it to them to tell the jerk off. (Haha! I said...! :)

Found you through Indie Ink. I like you!

 

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