Thursday, April 20, 2006

A Winner and A Loser...Or at Least Feeling Like One...Or Both

Okay, let’s just skip over the bit where I tell you all how much I suck. You're familiar with that song and dance, I'm sure. I have been shitting out business contracts at work with alarming regularity and with all that going on, I don’t even want to glance in the direction of my computer at home. Maybe I'm getting too much fiber.

The other day, I cried a little bit. See, I have this wild hair growing, well, you can imagine where, and it’s giving me the urge to go back to college. I dropped out because a lot of shit had happened and was happeing and showering daily was a feat in and of itself, rendering me paralyzed at the mere thought of attending class and studying. So, I stopped going. But now, ten years down the road, I've come to realize it is the one way in which I haven't healed from said horrid shit. Academically. And though consider myself pretty dang smart, apparently that piece of paper from an accredited institution means more.

Anyway, I get this weird palpitation in my heart when I’m calling my old college trying to figure out how to tie up loose ends and all. It’s reminiscent of a panic attack. Dealing with them makes me feel like “That Girl” all over again. It’s fucking weird, and I don’t like it. But I'm suffering through because I think it's important.

Long story short, and the reason for the waterworks, I was misunderstanding one of the ladies I was talking to and she fucking laughed at me. And I nearly crumbled. I know I pretend to be all big and bad and bitchy, but every once in a while, I'm a sensitive shit.

But, I’m over it now. Mostly because a woman named Linda called me back and was VERY, VERY sweet and now I kind of want to hump her leg.

Last order of business: WE HAVE A WINNER!

Thank you ALL for participating! Each and every entry rocked.

All that said, the Winner is: Beer Boy and Philthy Dog.

The prize will be announced shortly…

Congratulations Phil!

15 Leg Humps:

Chickie said...

Good for you for thinking of going back to college!

When you graduate, we get to throw you a party, right?

PaintingChef said...

OH! YAY! I've totally been thinking about going back to school too... but I decided not to because I was a big fat chicken. Also? Expensive. (School, not me. I'm cheap. Um... nevemind... am pricey and high maintenance according to husband.)

Phil said...

Whoo-hoo! For the prize, might I suggest a round of drinks with SuperTramp? And SuperZube? Aw heck, how 'bout drinks with all the other contestants, since, y'know, all the rest were chicks. :)

Good luck on finishing off school. I keep thinking about going back, myself, for various reasons.

Echoes in a Nomad's Head

Phil said...

OMG, I totally almost forgot to thank Happy Villain for inspiring the sidekick name. :)

junebee said...

It would be great if you could go back to college. Does your company have tuition reimbursement? What would you major in?

Don't worry 'bout us. You got your own stuff to do.

I wanna know what Phil won.

Ginamonster said...

I threatened to go back, but changed my mind when I decided I didn't want to incurr the debt. maybe later.
Good for you though, sounds like it's a step towards your total healing. It's really cool that you are so proactive about it. healing that is.

Chickie, have I ever told you how much I love your avatar?

Anonymous said...

Maybe you are just the kick in the ass I need to go and finish my degree. I have been out of school for a LONG time, too...and it's about time I go back and finish what I started;)

(but I am a big chicken...SHHHHH...don't tell anyone, OK?!?!?)

Happy Villain said...

Yay, Phil!

You know what about college, Zube? If you go back now, you're going to be so much more mature than everyone else there, and the social bullshit that ruled before: you are going to be SOOOOO OVER that. It will actually be a learning experience! And the kids (yes, they're kids) are actually going to 1.) irritate you, and 2.) think you're cool because you're older and you're still fun, so they'll look up to you. Don't let it intimidate you too much. We should, IMHO, go to college when we turn 30, because if we're paying for it, we should be mature enough to get something useful out of it other than a 4-year hangover.

Good luck! They should make your return to school a reality show. You're much more interesting than Tommy Lee.

Anonymous said...

Oh boy! Now that you're going to go to college, do you think we'll see you on one of those 'College Girls Gone Wild on Spring Break' shows?

[keeping my finger on the TiVo record button waiting for an answer]

Anonymous said...

Congrats, Phil!!

And do you think you can handle the college lifestyle now? I mean, last time I really drank I was puking off the back porch, when back then, that was nightly consumption.

Oh, you're going to LEARN. Sorry.

Gary said...

Are we all invited to your graduation ceremony?

His Better Half said...

I found it really hard to go back, but once I did it felt really good. At first I was a little overwhelmed, but at this point I know it's the best thing.

Good luck.

Julie Marsh said...

Zube, that's awesome. Good for you - I know this will be a major victory for you.

Sarah said...

Good for you! I'm hoping to return to school in the next couple of years as well, wonder what it's gonna be like as an older student?

Unknown said...

Good luck going back to school, glad to hear you're healed enough to face it.


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