Monday, May 08, 2006

I'm Wearing Underwear That Is a Little Too Big...Or, okay, Maybe a Lot...

Which might explain why I donated money to Republicans today.

Wait...That was a low blow. I didn't mean it all mean-like and stuff. In all honesty, I think my money will go further with these folks than it would in the Democratic Party...

Log Cabin Republicans

Republicans for Choice

And so there it went...Besides, Zube Boy is a Republican in line with these two organizations, so I think it's only fair to attribute some of our donations their way.

Also, if you were ever curious about math and clothes shopping and the intersection of the two, well, it might behoove you to keep in mind that if you are a woman who wears 9/10 jeans, you are NOT a woman who wears 9/10 underwear. 9/10 DOES NOT = 9/10...Mmmmkay? Please take this as a warning: Never EVER EVER EVER buy underwear that is all rolled up neatly in a little package that you ASSUME is your size because I think the underwear people TOTALLY forgot to communicate to the jeans people that 9/10? Is more like a 13/14. Which is cool by me because my ass is feeling particularly tiny today. So tiny and lithe that it's going for a swim...in it's digs...

17 Leg Humps:

kyknoord said...

Be careful. Those knickers could cause serious damage if they start to creep.

Psychobabble said...

Ouch! @kyknoord

Bonanza Jellybean said...

That is stupid, isn't it? Why the sizes can't be the same? Kind of like hot dog packs and hot dog bun packs. But if you eat enough hot dogs, I'm sure they'll fit. :)

Phil said...

Have you considered the possibility that the undies really are 9/10, but the gnomes stole your ass in the middle of the night? I can see it now . . . they steal your ass, so that you think you're all tiny, and so you go out and buy all new undies of a smaller size, and just when you're all comfortable, they'll staple your ass back in place and then laugh and laugh and laugh as you scramble around the house all upset that you no longer have any undies to wear. They're sneaky like that.

Phil
Echoes in a Nomad's Head

Chickie said...

I'm with Phil; This is the work of the gnomes.

PaintingChef said...

oh no. There are no gonmes involved. Its just us girls getting one little one back from the evil wedding dress industry who finds it necessary to make their dresses like forty seven sizes SMALL just to fuck with already hormonal brides...

or you know...I may have heard something about that...

Phil said...

PC, aren't you aware that the entire wedding dress industry is run by the gnomes? I thought that was common knowledge . . .

Ginamonster said...

The lovely think about undies is that you can wear a 9/10 jeans AND a size 6 or 7 undies. I happen to prefer the underwear sizes.

I think our whole society is secretly run by gnomes...sometimes I find their little gnome hats next to my scale which I think they adjust so that I think I'm gaining weight again.

Exquisite Chick said...

Lmao about the gnomes theory.

The size thing is universal too, they do exactly the same here in the UK. Size 10 jeans=size 8 undies. I have no idea why it's like that, but like Ginamonster I definitely prefer the underwear sizes :)

Crazy Lady said...

Just think what the too big undies are doing to your self image! Walking around all slim-assed, pretty soon you'll loose more weight because of all that "my butt feels smaller" butt shaking. Then you'll get some hot shot movie contract with a major director. Then once you are rich and famous, you will enter politics, become president, and be voted in as the first ever Queen of Earth and rule us all.... Or maybe you'll just get a terrible wedgie

rockyjay said...

Don't forget to eat before swimming. Or was one NOT supposed to eat before swimming?

Hmmmm. A banana wouldn't hurt.

Rich | Championable said...

I recently read the Republican Party Platform... you should check it out, amigo. Scared the crap out of me.

I wear my underwear OUTSIDE my pants, so I always by them big.

Happy Villain said...

Wouldn't it be great if you wore 9/10 pants, 9/10 undies and 9/10 shoes? 9/10 ring size? How about 9/10 bras? Why do they all have to be on different scales? And every designer had to abide by the same standards! No wonder men can't shop for us to save their lives!

Gnomes could be to blame. Although I hear ninjas have been making the rounds, causing havoc. Don't forget the ass-swelling spider venom. HOW do we get through the day?

Maya (the director of Happyville's library) said...

DARN those ass-swelling venomous spiders! They keep biting me, and biting me, and biting me, and they've bitten me so much that 9/10 jeans haven't fit me for more than a year. I need some ass-shrinking anti-venom, stat! Darn those ass-swelling venomous spiders to HECK!!!!!

Maya

Zube Girl said...

Kyknoord- This is definitely a possibility. I'll have to be on the lookout.

Psychobabble- Hee.

Bonanza- HA! Zube Boy said, "Don't worry, honey. You'll grow into them." Assmonkey.

Phil- As if I didn't hate gnomes enough already! I think you're onto something.

Chickie- It's all the work of the gnomes.

PaintingChef- My Aunt made my dress for me and I am SO thankful that I didn't have to go through that crap!

Ginamonster- I think gnomes invented the scale. Truly.

Exquisite Chick- I am ALL about the underwear sizes. Really.

Crazy Lady- I see a BRIGHT future ahead of me!

Rocky Jay- Mmmm...Bananas!

Rich- I've read it before and I do agree with you. The thing is, I believe it is only because of the current FAR RIGHT folks that the party is where it is today. I've long believed that the only way to affect any change in the Republican Party is from the inside, and I see Log Cabin Republicans and Pro-Choice Republicans as being on the inside but working for something I support. Does that make sense?

Happy Villain- There are just SO many things after our asses! It's frightening.

Maya- We should start an exterminating army! PRONTO!

junebee said...

It's the same deal with shoes and socks. A vast right-wing conspiracy, I tell you.

offhermeds said...

I, alas, actually wear size 9-10 underwear for real, and I can tell you it's NOT size 13-14. Try size 16-18. :(

 

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